Exhausted in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

So, something that is happening that my conspiracy obsessed, bullshit artist worshiping, idiotic as fuck friends and family aren’t capable of understanding… because of the current health scare, some pharmacies are having difficulty filling prescriptions. Mine, for example. Because my issue isn’t listed as an Autoimmune Disorder, so I’m not “of priority.” Except… funny story… as the pain consumes my body, it confuses my white blood cells and consumes my brain. So I become more susceptible to illness as well as having less control over things like my sleep schedule and my emotional control. This resulted in me having a very hard time getting to sleep last night. Crying heavily. Listening to

and crying some more. Getting a few hours rest. Then having a very hard time waking up to come in to work. Where, as an integral part of the local justice system, my ability to make decisions and keep an emotionally cool head are pretty damned important. Not to mention… yesterday’s State Wide COVID news had the confirmed case number at 29. This morning’s COVID news had the confirmed case number at 38. That is with the government stepping in to limit and shut down shit. And still almost 10 new cases within 24 hours. ARE YOU STARTING TO UNDERSTAND THE POINT?! Of course not. Because after getting a lecture about “People can have different opinions” from a Fox News loving moron (proof that those assholes can’t differentiate between Opinion and Fact)… I got downright bombarded with Right Wing bullshit. A small collection of headlines:

(1) If bars are closed and restaurants are carry out only, we need to suspend OWI laws!
(2) You say that people should take this seriously, yet there is no TP anywhere. So you’re telling people to panic and considering yourself a good liberal soldier.
(3) China’s Corona problem is gone. This will blow over in less than a week and you’re going to look like a total idiot!
(4) MIT Biologist says this is all about forcing an economic downturn! Social Distancing has nothing to do with any illness other than liberalism!
(5) COVID 19 doesn’t even kill that many people. For the entire world to freak out about something that doesn’t kill you seems pretty fucking stupid to me!
(6) If this isn’t a liberal plot to destroy small business, explain how Wal Mart can’t keep product in stock but the local bar is required to shut down!!
(7) The media is creating a panic to destroy Trump’s accomplishments. They want death, destruction, and misery to spread through the country. They are the enemy of the people!
(8) Funny how this comes out as Joe Biden announces his plan to take away everyone’s guns if he wins President!!
(9) 80% of Chinese patients are fine. Proof that this whole thing is just fear mongering panic!
(10) If you’ve run out of toilet paper, this is a perfect time to enjoy all of those political mailers you received over the last few months!

This is… so disheartening and exhausting. I am slightly immune compromised. I have friends in their 80s. I have friends going through chemotherapy. I have a lot of friends in the “medically at risk” category. Not to mention because of how this virus kills… there are multiple cases where the cause of death is NOT listed as COVID19 but COVID19 absolutely intersected! Current global death tolls are racing towards 10,000. And here is where things get so fucking stupid to me. The same people that are saying “IF THERE IS ANY ABUSE OF SOCIAL SAFETY NET PROGRAMS, WE SHOULD SHUT THOSE PROGRAMS DOWN!” are the ones saying, “The death tolls is .00001 percent of the world’s population. FUCKING hysteria!!” And the whole thing just… paints such a specific and horrifying picture of these people for me. If 1 person of 400 million people buy lobster with Food Stamps… shut the entire program down!! But if thousands die around the globe… changing any behavior is mass hysteria!!

This is, as it has been for years for me… horrifying. I’ve never been “lock step and unswaying” to a political party. I have my 5 issues and those are the ones I care about and do FACT-BASED research and policy creation. Economy, Healthcare, Crime/Justice, Infrastructure, and Education. I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me AT ALL that a lot of the “Fuck you, liberal!” response I’m getting about Covid 19 comes from people in Texas and Missouri. After all, they are among the few states who have not had much of an official response to the issue. And, as things like this prove with a loudspeaker, if there’s anything the common American believes more than “bootstrap individuality” it is “If it doesn’t affect me directly, it isn’t a big deal!” This is why every American needs to go to a place like Norway or Austria or SOMEWHERE besides Union, Iowa in their lives. You’ve been told that the United States is the best country in the world and the ideology of Individual Exceptionalism is unerringly gospel. Except… pretty sure even the President thinks Norway may be a perfect country. Grumble. Not to mention that this is, once again, adamant and passionate proof that Fox News is less a news organization and more a propaganda pusher. Someone who only watches Fox News would say “the seriousness of this snuck up on us.” If you were watching Fox News up until a few days ago, this was no big deal, just the flu, then you tune in on Monday and boom full blown crisis. Totally snuck up on you.

Funny how “consider others, alter your behaviors to help other people” seems like the most exceptional and offensive suggestion to so many people!

Sorry to keep hashing this same bloody topic. I just… I can’t believe (or stand) the idea that we’re in the timeline where the entire planet discovers an illness that is more insidious than the flu, has a higher death rate by percentage, and spreads rapidly… but instead of coming together to think, “What can we do to fight back?” we instantly adopt an idea of “How can I use this to support my chosen political figure?!”

What a sad, painful, tragic world we live in. Virus not withstanding. When our biggest inspiration even in light of tragedy is “Fuck you! I choose to believe unverified conspiracy theory while rejecting legitimate facts!” we are all in far more trouble as a species and a culture than I can even describe. And as tragic as this year has been so far? Imagine how different it would have been without the particular sickness of Trumpism infecting our world. Fears over a World War with Iran? What do we know, what can we verify, how can we respond intelligently? Instead we got policy arguments between people screaming “The President said imminent threat!” and people screaming “The President’s own people said the threat was a 6 to 8 month build up!” Fast Forward to February’s crisis. Australia and California burning. And instead of a world rushing together to attempt to help… we have people arguing over whether Climate Change exists at all and whether it may “just be better to let things burn” because heaven forbid we actually give a shit about each other. Which brings us to March’s issue. COVID19. Instead of thinking, “Okay. This is an issue requiring a response. After we implement the response, how do we help each other weather the rough patches economically and socially?” No… instead we have people out there saying, “Fox & Friends said this was just like the flu, so fuck you and fuck Johns Hopkins!” Instead we have people out there saying… “It doesn’t kill that many people. Changing everything is fear mongering panic and you liberals should be ashamed of yourselves!”

This is so clearly one of the worst possible world lines. :(

In other news, my SIL got a little tipsy last night and we text talked about how she’s holding up… the whole… everyone at home and trying to keep her daughter entertained, educated, and still avoiding screen time. She asked if Martha had moved out and was relieved that she had. She was very upset that I’m still paying for all of it, but I tried to let her know how that was always what was going to happen no matter how anything shook out. She understood but was very upset… the being tired and drinking had made her loosen up a bit which meant she was giving me her honest and unfiltered responses. She was discussing how she was upset that even now in this time of separation, it seems like Martha is getting what she wants. The fact that she doesn’t have to get a job, doesn’t have to openly or actively care about anyone… just gets to live her life running and hiding from being an adult still. Literally used the term “spoiled brat.” And I appreciate where SIL is coming on all of that, I really do. But I’ll also admit… it somewhat confuses me. Because the truth is… I am the guy that was like, “Whatever my wife wants and needs, if it is within my power, I will give to her.” And… I still don’t see why that is wrong. I mean… the breakdown was that it wasn’t reciprocal. So while I would entirely agree that brat is bad, unless specifically referencing it as a sexual kink which is a real thing… the spoiled thing seems… appropriate. Like… if Husband spoils Wife and Wife spoils Husband and they love each other and have a positive and healthy relationship… isn’t that the ideal? Honestly. Or am I just being naive?

So my plan for today?

at 10:00, I will phone the courts and discover how much is actually going to get done.
at 12:00, I will drive to a convenience store to grab an energy drink and some food.
at 1:00, I will review current pending criminal cases and make sure I am up to date on my filings.
at whenever o’clock, I will review current criminal cases and build a comprehensive list of who, what, and when.
As I leave the office today, I will travel to Grocery Store and beg for my medication hoping that it has finally arrived. I will also pick up energy drinks, soda, and alcohol.
After that, I will forgo giving Nala a walk (the 90 minute walk yesterday kicked my ass and that hyper psycho still wanted to play Chase Me for 90 minutes after that!).
Instead, I will finish taking care of the dishes, do laundry, and clean the basement, the kitchen, and the toilets.
Upon the eventual success of those cleaning initiatives; I will make a pizza, start drinking, and watch comedy shows about politics and law enforcement.
Depending upon how inebriated I become, I may then relocate to the basement in an effort to continue forward with Mortal Kombat 11 Trophy Hunting. Typically, I don’t give a shit about Fighting Game Trophy Hunting because I’m not into those games for the Online Competition… and those games have a lot of Online Competitive Trophies. But MK11 really only has like 6 or 7. So… other than those, I have a good shot at getting the others!

Friday? Well… I am working from Home on Friday.
so… whenever I wake up… shower and enjoy spending the work day without pants.
pack for my trip to WDM… include DVDs and a video game console as with all malls and eateries closed, I’ll have to entertain myself at my parents house a lot
Routinely check Work E-Mail and prepare for annoying or bullshit issues to pop up for no other reason than because working from home tends to make that happen.
Reluctantly get dressed and go pay my Attorney Fees.
Get the puppy excited and load the car.
Drive to WDM and spend the weekend with my folks.

That should take me through the rest of this week, at least.

SO NOW.... MEME TIME… and maybe after that, depending on my mood… maybe a survey? Though I will say this, kiddos… Victoria is still dating through all of this… people across the nation are “wink wink nudge nudge” about all of the babies that are going to be born in 9 months… so in some ways, this whole thing gets to me on that level. Like… when I saw the movie “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World” I didn’t realize that I would feel myself in the same position but with even less ability to do so.