20/20 in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

Well, 20/20 was an American television newsmagazine broadcast on ABC. The program was designed similarly to CBS’s 60 Minutes in that it features in-depth story packages, although it focuses more on human interest stories than international and political subjects.

So, yeah… no wonder 2020 the year has been just one long human interest news story. Impact of Possible War (1/2020); Australia & California burning (2/2020); COVID 19 Plague (3/2020). I’m guessing after COVID 19, we’ll be dealing with “the absolute collapse of the worlds’ economies.” So… keep that nightmare train chugging!

To make matters even better for our little neck of the woods, the National Weather Service has issued warnings about flooding, tornadoes, and hail all possible today. So hooray for that.

AND YET (grumble grumble grumble)… GRUMBLE!

Las Vegas is shutting down. Wisconsin has closed all the bars! Iowa’s governor has expressly stated “CANCEL ALL THINGS WITH 10 PEOPLE OR MORE”… meanwhile? Wells Fargo is requiring all of their employees to attend their “regularly scheduled hours.” The Wells Fargo location I’m currently thinking about in my hometown employs over 2,000 people in one building. DO YOU THINK THAT MIGHT BE AN ISSUE?!

So… no wonder a place like where I work is being so intransigent and irresponsible. I mean, shit, if Wells Fargo doesn’t give a fuck why should our little GOP-obsessed, Trump said Not To Worry (before he said to worry) caring, Rural Iowa Don’t Get Sick county.
Our Government Office building (at fully staffed) holds 18 people. That is just the staff. That doesn’t include the fact that our building takes care of things like Veterans Affairs and DHS and Mental Health Advocacy and SNAP/WICC Assistance and all those other things. SO… you’d think that the official edict would be “If you CAN work from home, DO work from home”. But that is NOT the edict. The edict is “Come in to work, this isn’t a vacation!” So, again, remember… the National and State Government have said “Limit groups of 10 or more!” So, as I strolled into work today? 14 people! No clients… we’re allowed to cancel clients coming in so as not to risk their health. So… wait. Let me get this absolutely clear… in an effort to protect the public, we’re supposed to cancel our appointments. In an effort to protect the public, almost all court activity has been suspended. So… in an effort to protect the public… we’re not doing our actual jobs. But… we’re still required to come in to work. AM I TAKING CRAZY PILLS?!

Oh. Nope. There it is. I see why. Whenever I need to understand why the GOP-worshiping, Conspiracy Theory Sharing government is doing something that doesn’t make sense… I just have to contact my Trumpeter Cousin. According to his uneducated ass… “MIT Biologist Claims COVID19 is merely an attempt to tank Trump’s economic success.” and… “Study finds 95% of all reported US COVID19 Cases are already recovered and healthy.”
............................................ allow my brain to explode for a brief moment.

Just doing a pico-second’s worth of looking into the sources that published that shit?
One is considered “a social media platform like 4chan”… so NOT NEWS and the other is rated as “The least reliable news source in New England”. SO… again… let us consider… MULTIPLE various national and international news sources are saying “Take this seriously. We expect hundreds of thousands of people to die from this. ALREADY hundreds of thousands of people have contracted this disease. Over 114 people in the USA alone have already died from this.” The experts of EVERY nation are saying, “Yeah. This is bad.” But fuck it all if Trump Country ain’t fit to be tied to embrace the conspiracy theory touting on Fox News and Conservative Radio. And fuck, o’course the President changed what he said… he was forced to by the likes of Schumer and Soros. If he got to keep saying what he wanted to say, he’d still be telling us this whole problem’ll be gone come the good weather in April. I mean shit, I ain’t even cancelled my rafting trip in June cuz I know the whole “virus thing” will be proved to be just a bunch of liberal bullshit dreamt up to tank Trump. Why I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the whole plan starting with Hillary! If she didn’t win; try to impeach the President and if that didn’t work, burn down his legacy. Fucking liberal hacks. STOP ATTACKING THE PRESIDENT you traitorous unAmerican socialist bastards!!

Yes, that is the kind of bullshit I am legitimately fucking hearing. So since that is the kind of Government I’m working for right now… I come in to work. And make it so that despite STATE GOVERNMENT EDICT to prevent gatherings of 10 or more people… our GOVERNMENT OFFICE is almost at “max staffing” despite the fact that we’ve pretty much cancelled all of our work.

In other news… I can’t help but find the timing on all of this to be darkly hilarious. I mean… an important reason for going forward with the separation was to get distance for me from Martha. Because remaining trapped in that misery cycle wasn’t good for me. But another hope was that Martha would use the experience to do some honest soul-searching. Figure some shit out. In truth? That… hasn’t happened. I know nobody expected it to; but the actual level it has reached is… faster and deeper than I expected. And I’d imagine some of that has to do with the isolation brought on by COVID19. You see… yes, she was likely going to feel sad or at least… feel something with all of this going on. But the daily interruption of leaving the apartment, driving to class, being in class, driving home… would at least have shaken her out of her terribly bad habit of hyper focusing on anything other than actually getting shit done. But classes have been cancelled for this week and all classes for the remainder of the semester are to be on-line only. So… yesterday was a good example. I drove to her place to deliver a package that had arrived for her. She was supposed to be spending the day working on an assignment that was due (classes cancelled not withstanding). I arrived shortly after 8 p.m. She hadn’t done a damned thing on her assignment yet. At all. She’d been consumed by the sadness and the loneliness. Now keep in mind… this is still all fresh for her… after all, she’s only been out of the house for about 1 or 2 full weeks. But even still.. when I moved to Tiny Town? When I moved to Marshalltown? The MANY TIMES (too many to count) where Martha ignored me during our marriage or (more recently) spent the night with a boy she met on Tinder? There was a lot of lonely for me. BUT I am not a vindictive person. I’m not sitting here rubbing my hands together with glee due to emotional payback.

Instead, I am worried about her. For two reasons. One… being lonely and being consumed by it SUCKS. If you’ve ever experienced that and have a good heart, you honestly don’t want anyone else to go through that. Two… because this is more evidence for GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! This whole experience has now removed all other responsibilities from your life. ALL you are required to do now is (1) keep yourself alive; (2) do your school work. There are no expectations of social interaction with a husband, or house chores, or sexual interactions with husband, or taking care of the dog… there is NOTHING BUT the stuff that you were pretty much ONLY doing while you lived at the house for the last many months. BUT since there isn’t the added “dog to make you feel loved, husband to make you feel loved, husband to take care of you” positive additions… you’re sinking into sadness and not even doing the only two things you’re required to do here.

It is just a bit frustrating. She already asked if it would be okay to crash at the house during this weekend because with school closure and everything going on… she just really wants to be somewhere with at least one other person and the puppy. I’ve never been more happy to remind her that the puppy and I will be visiting my parents. I mean… that isn’t glee because “screw Martha” that is happy because… obviously, the answer needs to be no. You need to seriously figure some shit out and if I allow you to run back home when shit gets hard then it is just one more way in which you’re taking advantage of me. But considering my own sense of loneliness and frustration (and considering both the high energy and odd behavior from melancholy of the dog), the company wouldn’t be unwanted. So… having already set it up that my loneliness and additional help with the dog are taken care of for the weekend… and that so taking care of that puts me in a situation where I cannot acquiesce to Martha’s request… that’s all probably the best case scenario.

The previous being said though, I am concerned about myself and my future choices and behavior. You see… as discussed previously… I’m not doing great with Tinder and Bumble. And I appreciate the recommendations to do an EHarmony or a Match but the honest truth is… I don’t know exactly what I want, but I do know exactly what I don’t want. I don’t want to find “my next wife” right now. I don’t want to find “a warm wet hole to fuck once and never encounter again.” I want… something in the middle. I want to re-engage with what it means to date, mingle, enjoy learning about someone. I want to have fun, explore what it means to date as an adult, learn what it means to date while being sexually active. I’m honestly not looking for “my next 14 years”… I’d settle with finding someone for the next 14 weeks… or 14 months… whatever. So that’s why I’m on Bumble and Tinder right now. Those seem to be sites more likely to NOT lead someone on about “finding your forever partner” whereas E-Harmony SUPER does and Match kind of seems to.

AND HERE IS SOMETHING I AM ABSOLUTELY EMBRACING… I honestly think that even if I were better situated on those websites, the COVID19 issue would mean that I can’t trust the current lack of interaction on those sites as an honest response. I mean… if we’re all socially distancing and if all of the bars and restaurants are closed… this isn’t exactly time to set up a First Date with someone 60 to 100 miles away. Obviously. So honestly… until the COVID19 thing goes away… I won’t make any rash decisions about my relationships. In fact, I have an idea to ask Victoria to help with my pictures for those dating apps once we’re all more free to mingle and hang out again.

But due to this current zero point zero percent interest or interaction… I am very aware of what could be considered a poison in my heart. You see… Martha will be “available to me” to “welcome back” for the foreseeable future. Her request to spend the weekend proves that. And despite the misery of our union; I’m worried that if I continue to have zero point zero percent interest or interaction until November… I’m worried that I’ll just fold an accept that “a negligent partner who can help every once in a while is better than no partner of any kind.” I mean… it’s only March 18th right now so that may be a little premature but… it is definitely on my mind.

Oh.
My.
Explosive.
Rage fueled.
Fucking.
GRARGH!

So, here’s a positive. The Board of Supervisors has now shut down the Court House entirely. The government buildings will be accessible by appointment only. All who can are encouraged to work from home; however, Department Heads still have final say. So… some forward progress. Of course… my department head (and my department) is still baffled why people are blowing this whole damned thing SO FAR out of proportion. I mean… clearly, since the Board are encouraging work from home, he isn’t going to STOP anyone from doing that… provided it doesn’t effect productivity or our ability to do our jobs.

AS he and I are discussing that? Fuckin’.... facebook.

So… the majority of COVID19 posts I’ve made are simply sharing posts from my friends in the medical community and/or legal community. Shit like “Give a thought to children of abuse who have had their safe space taken away with school closures.” And “Things are being cancelled so that ‘rush on TP’ doesn’t happen in hospitals as ‘rush on ventilators.” That is mostly what I’ve shared. Except for a few posts bitching about having to go into work even though the courts are closed. Except for two posts.

MARCH 16
In my area and on Facebook, I hear so many people say “COVID19 isn’t that big of a deal. The media is just causing a panic!” Frankly, folks… that is a damned privileged thing to say.

Are you immune compromised? Do you have asthma? Are you currently undergoing chemotherapy?
Are you aware that even many of the people that survive COVID19 still have permanent respiratory issues?
Are you aware of how fast the virus is actually spreading?

MARCH 18
I get that #Facebook is trash. But I’m seeing (and sick of seeing) OBVIOUSLY fake news being spread throughout here as though it were gospel. Kids… do a pico-second’s worth of Source Checking. If the article is from a “news site” that can’t be verified AS A NEWS SITE… don’t share it, don’t consider it the truth. Sure, it would be fun if this whole COVID19 was a “deep state ruse to upset Trump’s success in office”… but rational thought, intelligence, and common sense SUPER BEG TO DIFFER! So stop it. This is a legitimate virus. This is legitimately KILLING PEOPLE. And current predictions estimate the death toll to reach hundreds of thousands. So instead of politicizing this to make YOUR political hero look good… how about you treat this with some bloody respect!

Those are the two “long posts” I shared.

MOSTLY, to be honest, those were inspired by people like my boss and my cousin. Because all of this “it’s just a flu”, “it’s no big deal”, “liberal conspiracy!” bullshit is really hard to deal with when you have a modicum of intelligence. OR, as I am fortunate to have, multiple friends and family in the Health Care Industry (20 nurses or medical doctors on my Facebook Friends list alone… that doesn’t even include the Attorneys in the Medical Field I know). AND that doesn’t include the people I’m close to who are immuno-compromised and/or going through chemotherapy. Which would make that number a lot higher! So… ACCURATE information about this COVID19 health issue MATTERS TO ME.

Well… here comes a friend from High School who has decided to become a passionate Trumpeter!

The response to the March 16th?
” Yeah but at the same time, we have people flat out ignoring cold, hard science. Where’s the hysteria over regular old flu, which by the way, has killed far more people than COVID 19? Being insensitive and not allowing media hysteria to consume you to the point that you’re hoarding toilet paper and creamed corn are not the same thing. Just my humble opinion.”

I’ll admit… I had to respond. Because I’m so SICK of people falling onto the sword of “But the flu!!” So I said,
“It ain’t just the media. Preventing viral shedding is important. And (this isn’t directed to FB as I’m hearing this ALL OVER right now)… the fact that flu kills more people but has a higher survival rate is an IMPORTANT distinction. If we DON’T prevent COVID and it infects as many people as the flu… COVID will absolutely be a population thinner!
If 10,000 people get the flu and 10 die versus 100 people get COVID and 3 die… that is more people dead by flu. But that DOESN’T justify not working to stop the spread of COVID. What if 10,000 people got COVID. Now you’re doing proper comparison. And that would put the death rate at 300 die. Using strictly the numbers provided.”

But today? Her response to the March 19th post? Remember… this is my SECOND post about COVID that discusses my ire with Conspiracy Bullshit.
“Why are you doing this? Every time I log onto Facebook I’m getting a lecture from you. Do you really think you’re helping by lambasting everyone who doesn’t share your exact opinion and feelings? I also have a hard time believing that you made it to 35/36 not knowing that when people are scared, they may do or say stupid things, i.e. the conspiracy theories. Not new: We all cope with tradgedy/death/scary things differently and roasting people for that is completely unfair.”

Paging Doctor Explosion.... Paging Doctor Explosion… Doctor Explosion, your response is requested! I couldn’t… I honestly couldn’t just… sit there and let that go without response. And maybe if I could I’d be a better person. But.... I couldn’t. Opinion and feelings?! I’m mad that people are spreading “Liberal Hoax” b.s. on facebook, and I should keep in mind that not everybody “shares that opinion?!” And… you’re trying to say to “back off” people that spread false news stories of “don’t worry about this” during a time of potential lethal disease? Yeah, sorry. Honestly, sorry. I HAVE to respond because… clearly you need a fucking education about this!

My Response:
“Conspiracy Theories spread panic, spread disease, spread problems. Information is what matters. Opinions are not what is being discussed here. Facts are. The facts are that all of the experts say this IS to be taken seriously. This IS killing people. Spreading conspiracy theories that this is a hoax will only MAKE CERTAIN that more people who may not have died, will die. If people are afraid? They should reach out to one another. Arm themselves with knowledge. Make plans. If they are afraid… sharing conspiracy theories that suggest this is no big deal is irresponsible and harmful.”

Maybe that was too much but frankly? The first case of COVID19 in the United States was reported on January 14th. We actually started testing for it and taking it seriously in February. Since then? We’ve charted over 7,000 people confirmed with the virus and over 110 deaths. THAT IS JUST THE ONES WE KNOW ABOUT AND CONFIRMED. The areas without testing kits? The areas where the death was considered “pneumonia” or listed as some other respiratory ailment? The Wold Health Organization is saying that this will kill hundreds of thousands of people across the world. All epidemiologists are saying that this ISN’T the flu, that this is more like 1918 then any armchair social media user can BEGIN to comprehend. And I’m just… I mean, I get it. I’m a bit harsh with Trumpeters. But that’s because… HAVE YOU SEEN HIM THROUGH THIS?! For unholy fuck’s sake!! The guy that doesn’t read and doesn’t go to briefings said “Over by April” and now said “May go all through summer.” He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about and you’re all willing to die or get other people sick and them die just because of your unbelievable gullibility and worship of this orange jackass?! I’m sorry, I’m done. I’m not abiding turning an international health crisis into another political way to jerk off Trump. Use your fucking brain. Do your fucking homework. ACT LIKE A FUCKING ADULT!