uh idinno. what a great title that was. in 2007: March 1: transferred fom FOD

oh yeah.

no i do know. holy fuk my depression has returned. i’m tired which makes me irritable bc i’m dealing w/ this big thing. it’s like the potato thing all over again. [i actually will explain this one cause i don’t think i’ve written about it yet.]. like i don’t have a great memory moreso then usual. get up survive go back to bed.
um but i did get out today. cause i knew if i didn’t it would be worse. i haven’t noticed a huge difference or anything. oh i got chai from starbucks cause. caffeine. i’m thinking ‘the stuff indians drink........’ that’s my memory when i go through stuff. yeah earlier when emily came by she’s ‘so you’ve been feeling ok?’ ‘yeah’. i have depression how the fuk do you think i feel? i’m here that’s about all i can say. as apparent as that is. yeah but i mean that’s huge. of course. again for those who are going to............no i’m not on meds and i don’t want them and no i don’t see a psychiatrist. they’re the psych. people who are allowed to prescribe meds. oh so. there’s not a one size fits all approach to these kindof things.
like talking to people takes so much energy.
i um. oh right i got choc. milk which i think has more vit. d then non choc. milk. cause. depression. um. also it’s delicious.
i’m not motivated to eat as usual when i’m going through something. and also bc of the details of what my psych. said last. wk. which. when i’m ready i’ll go into.
i might hit up Mark tonight. and let him know what’s going on. he’s great we’ve known each other for a long time. and i completely trust him. so.
semicolon. that’s my desktop backround it’s a mental health thing. semicolon. i also drew it on myself. on my wrist actually well below it rather which is funny but not really cause incidentally i cut for 10 yrs. and haven’t in wow in may it’ll be 6. yrs. since i haven’t i mean.
um. oh right the potato thing. yeah so a wk. or so after Lane died back in jan. um. i was at whole foods purchasing a potato and the lady’s ‘is this organic?’ um. yes? like i don’t know. how the fuk am i supposed to remember? yes bc the pricing of a potato was my biggest problem at the time. the potato thing. the worst thing to do for depression. is to not talk about it. so. people should. talk about it. to someone the person trusts. which as i’ve said is Mark. and here i. well obviously i blog here. about it and other. things. i probably will not stop talking about mental health. and i shouldn’t. no really. and i’m twitter so i tweet. about it a lot.
i heard that elvis song on the radio today. ‘always on my mind’ sung sang? by an r&b singer. it started and i’m like ‘i know this song!’ it’s in priscilla queen of the desert the musical. that’s actually how i know it. i was listening to it and i just got. really sad. ok no more sad music for awhile. like today anyway. i don’t know who the singer was. she was good and didn’t get too loud. i might look it up............if i remember. it was interesting.
semicolon.