Trucking along.. in The day to day

Well my family function went fine. By the time I got to the restaurant the table was already full so we had to start a new one. My mom came and sat by me and my brother and his kids. So that saved me from talking to my grandparents. Then once we got to the house, it was all about the kids birthday. Everyone was focused on that. When it was time for cake and ice cream I hid in the kitchen. My parents joined me and we had a nice talk just about everything. So I avoided awkward questions and answers.

Since then things have been okay for the most part. I had to ask my ex for money after I got paid last week. I knew how much I was getting paid so I added up what bills needed to be paid. It left me with $137 to get groceries and gas for two weeks. I knew groceries would be more than that just because I hadn’t been in two weeks. So he ponied up some money. No fuss. I didn’t expect there to be any, but this whole situation has made me not expect the usual. We did get in a little tiff when he brought me the check though. I ended up asking questions about his girlfriend. Whether she was working (she’s not), if she was going to get a job (he didn’t know), if she was getting child support yet (not yet), applied for food stamps since she should qualify.... at that point he was done and walked out. Well sorry buddy. You all of a sudden have to start delivering pizza again as a second job to your main one that pays $27 an hour (or more, I know he makes a lot) because you decided to be an idiot and move in with someone who doesn’t want to work. He’s essentially supporting two households.

I apologized to him though. Told him it wasn’t my business anymore. That as long as the boys were taken care of then I won’t worry about what they do in their household. It does mean the boys won’t be staying the night over there anytime soon. Because I’ll be damned if my kids are over there with her by themselves. He absolutely would have to be there for that to happen.

Yesterday I went to his Facebook page. I have to stop doing that. He had posted pictures of the boys at the park from when he had them on Wednesday night. But she was there with her kids. And he tagged her in the post. Just why? Why does she have to be tagged? She has absolutely nothing to do with my kids. It made me sick to my stomach. I had told him I didn’t want her taking pictures and posting them on her page and tagging him. So I guess he figured I didn’t say anything about him doing it.

It made me call Legal Aid and see what was up with my application. They called me back this morning. Said they would be sending me a letter in the mail inviting me to their divorce clinic in April. I was hoping to have a little more individual help. But she did say if anything else came up that wasn’t addressed on my application then there would be attorneys there to help guide me through everything.

So I sent a text to my ex and let him know it was coming. He sent me a text back asking if I was sure I wanted to get divorced. Seriously? He asked if it was a natural progression thing since we had separated. I told him that yes it was the next course of action. I asked him what the point of staying married would be. And that I felt like he wanted to stay married but be able to do whatever.

He went on to say that wasn’t the case. He said staying married would help with health insurance and car insurance, being his beneficiary if something were to happen, etc. I told him all of that would be taken care of in the divorce. He went on to say things like what if we were to get back together in a couple of years. I don’t know how you would feel about it or how I would feel. He apparently has been reading a lot about couples who separate and then get back together. I told him that if he had approached this from the beginning as a separation, he moved out on his own and we tried living apart for awhile then maybe it would be different. But he left me while starting a relationship with someone else and immediately moved in with them. Like why? Why would I want to stay married in case he decides he wants to come back? I’d rather get it over and done with.

I think he’s more afraid to let go than I am. I am security for him. Stable. And he’s out there in the unknown with this person.

I actually started this entry yesterday and had to come back to it. He came and picked up the kids a couple of hours ago. B didn’t want to go. I told him he needed to tell his dad why he didn’t want to go. He said he would be uncomfortable since they were just going to his apartment. My ex told him that it wasn’t going to be comfortable until he started spending more time over there. So he went. I didn’t fight it too much. I think I am going to mention to B’s therapist he needs to help him vocalize what exactly is making him uncomfortable so that his dad can really understand. If I ever feel like he really can’t handle going over there then I would put my foot down.

A doesn’t have any issues going over there. He’s just glad to see his dad. Hopefully they are having a good time. I expect them to be back soon as my ex has to go to his second job again tonight. He will get them again tomorrow.

Thanks to those that have been checking in on me. 🙂