Another First for the Vault in Days of My Destiny

Another First!!!!!!!!!!!!

She got off the bus, smiling. She always smiles as she gets off the bus, but it's usually a sleepy, tired smile, one that spells relief at seeing mum at the end of her day, knowing Home is Here. Today, her eyes were bright and her smile was broad. She walked towards me, smiling all the while...... and that was when I saw why....

Her first tooth fell out today!

I squealed and squealed and couldn't help but cry a little bit, in pure joy and overwhelm at how fast these milestones approach. She looked worried that I looked a bit sad, so I had to be brave and keep smiling and squealing. I'm glad children give you strength the way they do, because if she didn't look worried, I probably would've just balled.

I don't know why these things make me feel like balling as well as laughing. I suppose because when you laugh, it's usually because something is just so hilarious and light, or so wrong but hilarious. With your kid's milestones though...... there's so much there. Every milestone is a representation of everything you've been through, high and low. The sleepless nights, the crazy over-exhausted days and the ways you just get through................... I remember one time when she was around 1 (that was only almost 5 years ago but they grow a LOT in that time and life changes incredibly), L really needed sleep more than ever because he had to get up extra early for work the next morning. It was another one of those insanely interrupted, sleepless nights, where I had tried a thousand things to settle her back to sleep. Finally, in my desperation, I put her in the car and went for a drive. It was midnight. I drove through the sleeping city, along the empty highways. I almost took the exit off to mum's place, and then thought, what am I going to do, rocking up at her house at midnight, then what? Sure I might get a cup of tea out of it but is it worth it? So I kept driving. I drove for another twenty minutes before pulling through a McDonald's drive-through and ordering myself some hot fries. My plan had been to then drive all the way back home, but the lady who took my order spoke quite loudly over the speaker, waking M. So I drove on. I ended up in the city, driving through the main streets, until M fell asleep again. Then I drove all the way home. M was never the kind of baby you could just pick up out of the car and put to bed while she kept on quietly sleeping. She would wake at the tiniest of movements. Somehow, in that crazed, sleepless, exhausted, traumatised, terrorised, tortured state, I managed to pick up the whole seat that she was sleeping in - the baby seat - lifted it out of the car, walked into the house, into her room and placed the seat into the cot - with her in it, sleeping. L had heard me come home and got up once he realised I was taking ages to walk into the house, so he saw it all happen...... and took a photo.

LMAO!

It's those sorts of insane memories that show up in the forefront of your mind, quite unexpectedly, as if it were last week, when you reach these kinds of milestones. The milestones that say, hey, wake up, no time for taking these days for granted, girl!!!!!!

She was so excited about her tooth. She kept asking me if I am the tooth fairy. She told me her teacher told her so. I told her that I was, but then she asked again, so I told her she'll have to wait until the morning to find out for sure, lol. Apparently she cried when her tooth fell out and the teacher kindly reassured her and told her to rinse her mouth out with water. Poor baby. It's the KNOWING that she cried that made me wish I had've been there, to be the one to comfort her and hug her and tell her it was alright! But nevermind, she has an amazing teacher and I know she feels safe and comforted enough with her.

She's my big girl.

Soon she'll be a woman.