So so so so so In Love in Days of My Destiny

Reading back on hand written entries, pre-OD days, from our engagement days.... we were so so so so so in love! It's so good to read! I'm so glad I wrote about it as often as I did. Gosh, I had the time, didn't I!!!! I wrote on the train on my way to work, and I wrote at work between appointments, lol. So many half-finished sentences, hahahahaha. Hilarious. Names of people I have no recollection of now (old clients mainly). Wedding preparations. More love.

I'm so glad that to this day, I love my man as much as I always have. It's funny though because now I wouldn't go on and on and on and on the way I used to. I suppose it's for a few reasons. I know his love so well by now, that none of it surprises me, LMAO. That sounds so harsh, but it's true! I guess I am confident in his love for me, and even though he does surprise me from time to time, it all comes down to just how generally amazing he is - and that's the bit that doesn't surprise me! Another reason is that our love has matured. I love him for so many more reasons than the ones I originally loved him for. It's like, the reasons I originally loved him for were just the starting point. As the years peel away, I get more and more! More situations to get to know him more, more reasons to admire him and love him deeply and passionately. Also, our lives are busier now. Kids thrown into any mix means any mix gets busier! Generally I don't have a thousand minutes to just ponder. I'm constantly on the move, whether physically or mentally. So unfortunately, that dreamy state of mind where all you focus on is your love and everything else is happily blurry - it all gets moved to the background. That's why it's good to be in a relationship for a while before having children, or else you'd never get that dreamy state I write about.

He is so wonderful. So so so wonderful.

When we'd been together for about three months, I made a list of 100 things I knew (and loved) about him. I re-wrote one about 4 years later, and some of the things on the list hadn't changed, but a lot of them had. My list four years later was a lot less superficial and a lot more meaningful. I haven't done one since that time 5 years ago. I should do another one soon. It'd be interesting to see my list now. I'm sure there'd still be some items that would still make The List. And I'm sure there'll be new, refreshing and deeper things on the list again.

What I do know, based on my heart and the evidence, is that I will always, always love him.