Dancing with the Devil in Dealing with the Devil

I got a letter in the mail today for me to go to court. I have been going to court every time I could and this time they sent a letter. You know I was going anyway. But with the letter I feel like I’m involved. I’ve been feeling bad all week about this and yet I know it had to be done. Guilty...... As I told the detective I don’t like telling on them for just doing normal stuff. The other restraining order was if he got out of hand but just showing up to the house is a crime. He knows what I was getting at and we both know that he still broke them for just hanging around. I have let him for the past few months anyway as I’m stuck with him. Taking him to his surgical apts and some of the follow ups.

I guess it was the police officer that called and told me that he was animate that I gave him the keys to the house and car. I really didn’t want to get into it with him while trying to leave for the trip. I didn’t want to say no I got you in trouble . I just left them out. But then they should know the police whether I gave him the keys or not....he’s not suppose to be there. I didn’t go to the next town and drop the keys off. He came to my house to get them. I did tell the detective he would probably pull that stunt and did email him that too. I still feel guilty.

To get the letter today....

I want to write him. Like it will do any good. I have constantly told him what he needs to do and he won’t. Living it up till they tell him what they want him to do and even balking at it. I really don’t care anymore. He doesn’t and I know I really shouldn’t either. I don’t want to sit in this miserable state over analyzing it. Guess why I’m writing about it to get it off my mind.

Sigh.... I don’t know where this is headed…

And there’s a guy texting me. I don’t want to tell strangers my business. I already got the get over it from him. How can I get over it if its still front and center… Its not like I haven’t posted about it but not in any detail.... some of them you can figure out because of the comments even in a roundabout way.