anorexia. venezuela. in 2007: March 1: transferred fom FOD

so no i haven’t been to venezuela.
um so i haven’t had a big relapse. in about a yr. also i’ve been making an effort not to. i eat, once a day or more. when i go to my mom’s/the store. well. also sometimes if there’s food in the fridge that isn’t mine. like bacon or chicken or fries. i’ll have that. and chips occassionally i’ll have chips. when we have them.
um. idinno it’s weird. like i miss being that sick. and the ‘high’ i got from it. it’s not good obviously. and that feeling of. ‘oh look how awesome i am!’ that willpower to. be able to do something that some can’t. not eat for. however long. and now i’m just. ordinary. like i don’t have that. a lot of people don’t completely understand, anorexia i don’t think. i kindof wish there was a scale in the bathrm like we had before we moved. no and when i’d weigh myself and the number was lower. it wasn’t a good thing it was ‘oh fuk’. contrary to what people might think. and i wonder. if that’s why we don’t have one. i mean maybe not maybe that has nothing to do w/ it..........but it stands to reason that.........that would um be the reason. we don’t. it was never. a numbers game for me. well not in the losing weight way.
anyway. so apparently in venezuela. [and this is why i don’t watch the news. cause then i get sad] the kids don’t get enough to eat. which i somewhat relate to only. anorexia. is choosing not to eat even though i have food. well for me anyway. it’s not. like not eating bc i didn’t have it. i mean. i relate to being that sick not the other part.