don't you Worry bout me babe in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

As I got home last night, the temperature began to drop considerably. Like… super duper cold. And I was thinking about how much I was going to need to put on in order to walk Nala and how I was likely going to need to bribe Nala and then get home and do laundry. HOWEVER… when I got home, I discover that Martha had done laundry and walked the dog before it got too cold. If we were still together, I’d be singing her praises for this. However, it must be stated why she would do these things. She was supposed to be studying for a Chemistry Exam that she is freaking out about. So… patterns repeat. The thing she is feeling emotions about gets put on complete hold while other things distract her. NO studying, I’m anxious about that… so take care of dog and clothes and then watch reality TV. And I mean… there’s procrastinating… and there’s running away from your negative emotions… and then there’s this. It just… it seems like… I don’t know. Like a prison of unhealthy compulsion to constantly refuse to deal with your negative emotions. Because while it might seem okay to run away from your fears or anxiety? Those things are persistence predators. Run as hard and as far as you want, but those hunters will catch up with you… and now you’re just too tired to fight back. I may not be great at managing my shit all of the time; but some things just seem so self-sabotaging.

I am also starting to wonder if Nala’s new behavior patterns have to do with the shift in the house. I’m not actively trying to engage Martha as I once did. Martha is doing more and more of her own thing. Now almost all of her at home time is spent staring at her phone. If it isn’t reviewing textbooks or classwork; it seems that she is still maintaining multiple conversations with the Men of Tinder. Which… again… bugs me. She can’t be arsed to spend time playing with the dog; but she can spend 30 minutes talking to a boy on Tinder while she watches The Circle?

So last night, I tried to play with the dog. She did well for the most part. But she still doesn’t really want to play fetch or get pet or do The Dog Things I would say that I’m used to. She wants to play fairly vicious tug and then have you run around trying to chase her. If you get tired, she’ll walk over… put the item near your hand… and if you try to grab the item, she’ll snatch it and start running until she realizes that you aren’t chasing her. And as far as tug goes? She doesn’t use her tug toys. She doesn’t use any of the toys designed to keep the human hand outside of the dog’s mouth. She only wants to play tug with balls. So… I’m trying but… it can be tough. And when she doesn’t want to play with any of the toys she has… she has now taking to two games. The first is trying to bite hands. This is typically not allowed and will result in play shutting down entirely because “that isn’t okay.” OR she’ll sit in front of the fireplace and start Cry Shouting while staring at the mantel. I still cannot figure out why she does that… other than the fact that when Martha was tired of Nala playing with a toy, that is where Martha would typically put the toy. But that isn’t a practice that I allowed to continue. So there’s nothing up there. To prove it last night, I picked Nala up and had her get as close to the mantle as she wanted. Smell everything, bat it around if you want to (you cat-dog), grab it and bring it with you if you please! Nothing. She even smelled the greeting cards, the trophies, and the paintings… nothing. So then I put her back down. Walk back to the couch. Sit down. And she goes back to Cry Shouting while staring at the mantel. She is a short haired, semi-small dog… she is afraid of the wind and did refuse to go out for most of last night due to the cold… she is 14 1/2 months old...... I’m.... kind of lost for what to do. Because of course as soon as I went to bed… she didn’t even wait for me to fall asleep. As soon as I went to bed, she sat next to the bed cry shouting. I got up… took her outside, and she ran back to the door because it was too cold. K. Then I’m going back to bed! Nala decided “Okay, screw that, then. Martha’s still up. I’ll hang out with her.” But lo and behold, 4 a.m… awoken by Cry Shouting. Took her outside, this time she did pee and poop, and then we both shivered ourselves back inside. The wind was strong and icy. The temperature was back in the negatives. I calculated. I could refuse to go back to sleep, play a video game by the fire for a few hours, and then take Nala for a morning walk. BUT the temperature isn’t supposed to get up to positive numbers until much later in the day and… this isn’t a Pyrenees… this isn’t even a Golden Retriever… too much exposure to these conditions would not be good for Nala. So… I guess I’ll skip it again :/ But hook or by crook, Nala is getting a walk this evening. I have made a solemn vow that has been kept consistently (for the last 4 days)… Nala gets a walk everyday! No matter what! Cold, rainy, miserable weather? Did she have a walk before the weather turned? No? Then she’s having one now! She needs and deserves to get her energy out. And while we do have a fenced in yard that she can run around… between the snow piles and the cold? She isn’t going out there and burning off energy. She would rather stay warm. So… walks and the Dog Park solo when it is! And that’s my plan for tonight. After I get home, I’ll change out of my suit and into jeans and several shirts. I’ll take Nala for a drive to the Dog Park and walk around the city. Before getting back in the car, I’ll unleash her and let her run around the dog park to burn off any extra energy she might have. Yeah… that might buy me an hour or two of peace but… I’ll appreciate that hour or two. lol.

There was a… really stupid meeting today for work. There is a “health incentive program” through our insurance where if we do W, X, Y, Z we’ll get $150 at the end of the year. And it is… like… it is obvious all over the place. But even more so for me, lol. Because you only have to do 4 “categories” to get the money.

For emotional balance? One of the options is Get a massage between January 1 and October 31. Bitch, please. I’m lining one up for next week whether you pay me or not.

For food intake? One of the options is “provide receipt for Healthy Eating Program.” I could understand the pushback for this but… I was already considering joining weight watchers. Not only is it a group that has Meals Ready to Eat, but it is a group that has an active Meet Up in my town. And yeah, maybe trying to lose weight isn’t the best way to meet people… but expanding my social circle while attempting to continue to get closer to my goal weight sounds like a fairly good two birds with one stone scenario.

For exercise? One of the options is simply to track your activity level for seven days. Okay… 1 to 2 walks around the town every day. Occasional “sprint training” when playing chase with Nala. Done.

For mindfulness? Write seven days in a row. Really?! That one might be hard!! (Obvious sarcasm).

Boom.... $150.00. So… yeah, I’m doing that. But the meeting was still painfully stupid. Because it was mostly trying to explain to people how to use the website to get credit for the activities. And I mean… I can’t properly use Excel… I’m not great with power point… I’ve never ONCE used photoshop (or a computer where it was installed).... so I’m not like “leading expert on technology.” SO… why is it that at every government meeting I’ve gone to… it has been an hour long course on “here’s how to use a website?!” I mean… I get that a lot of places in Iowa are largely older people… but the median age for the state is around 39. HOW TO USE A WEBSITE shouldn’t need to be any more complicated of a meeting than “go to internet. type in website. Username and Password. If forget, click here. Now go clicky in places. That is ‘How does use website.”

WELL, here’s a thing I didn’t think would happen! So… apparently… the bosses at the Chinese Firm are being asses again in a way that involves me! As part of my mortgage refinancing; the bank is attempting to get verification as to all of my hire start/finish dates. Well, everyone has complied except the Chinese Firm. The bank is actually contacting me “at their wits end” about the matter as they have “left several messages over the last several weeks and have received no response.”
Yeah.
Can’t say as I’m surprised.
At all.

So I’m going to have to call and text and e-mail and try to get one of those two to respond to my bank. Le Sigh.

Onto more pressing matters… I have a controversial opinion that will likely piss people off! Knowing this… I’ll try to be open minded about the notes! BUT… my politics should be fairly obvious. I was a die hard conservative until the conservatives completely sold their soul. I’ve become considerably more liberal in recent years as my new perspective is now “Both parties don’t give a shit about deficit spending or taxing Americans. One group wants tax money to go to corporations; one group wants tax money to go to governments. A government needs tax money to function. Corporations should be run based on profits.” That’s how simple it gets for me.

That being said… Bernie Sanders has and continues to have one of the most left-leaning policy stances out of all the remaining candidates. I would prefer a Klobuchar win; but will accept a Warren win. AND since so many would say “Bernie and Warren aren’t that different, how can you have this opinion?!” I will answer thusly.... approach to the current market system.

Bernie Sanders direct quote: “You don’t necessarily need a choice of 23 underarm spray deodorants or of 18 different pairs of sneakers when children are hungry in this country.”
Which is certainly a defensible perspective but an economically illiterate one. The number of choices of a product has no correlation to children going hungry. And (truthfully) a big push of Sanders (historically) has been to criticize the fact that “Americans have too many choices. You don’t need (X amount) of (Y product)!” And it’s like.... dude? That’s how markets work. If Proctor and Gamble want to divert their money into giving 5 different scents of aftershave as opposed to 2; they can and should. And if those 3 extra products sell better, have a wider appeal, and are liked more… you can expect P&G to try even more scents. That isn’t a failing of the market nor does that contribute to hunger. IN THIS LIMITED SENSE, an increase in variety of products actually leads to a higher likelihood that more people will be working; therefore, potentially actually feeding their kids.

Elizabeth Warren on the other hand… has fairly left leaning policies but has never directly assailed The Market System itself (in the way Bernie has) but assails the system for it’s wealth structure. TRUE, Bernie does this as well. It is something he has begun to adopt a lot more as he knows this kind of thing will be required of him in order to appease moderates who might be on the fence about voting for him at all. Warren’s typical economic arguments attack the notion that wealth is “appropriately concentrated in a very narrow top echelon of corporate structures” and that “average Americans should simply be happy that they have a job at all.” That is what she has consistently attacked and that is consistent with the ideals of the original Labor Movement when unionization was first starting. This very real, appropriate, and honest attack on how Joe Linesman makes the product that keeps the company in business and gets $5 an hour; whereas Tim Toolman makes the stockholder’s rich via Stock Market tricks and gets $99 an hour. She tends to ask the question of “Why does the Required to Function cog get shafted in the corporate structure while the Luxury Bonus cog gets all the wealth?”

That is why in a Bernie v Warren fight, I back Warren. And… while whomever is selected as the nominee will be called a socialist, a communist, and all the other slurs to label them as Cold War enemies.... the truth is… Bernie Sanders was an active member of the Socialist Party of America at one time. He labels himself as a Democratic Socialist now and (unlike what people claim) has NEVER openly petitioned that the United States go full Communist. BUT STILL… I personally think it is important when a Conservative says, “You’re such a socialist” for the Progressive to say, “That’s childish name-calling and an idiotic mis-characterization.” As opposed to Bernie’s response of, “Yeah? So what?!”

But here’s why Bernie’s success actually worries me. His loudest, most fervent supporters are saying that he is and/or will bring about The Revolution. He is The Great White Progressive Hope. Or as I stated earlier… one of the most left leaning candidates (it’d be great to have Sanders debate Kucinich actually) at the podiums. And while Primaries and Caucuses are largely attended by the Party Faithful… Party Faithful won’t be who needs to be swayed come November. And the louder the Bernie to Remake America rallying cry gets… the more likely that even though people really want Trump out… they’ll not vote as opposed to support a total “Remake America” campaign. Hell, I’m honestly a little worried that Warren is too left leaning for the folks a bit. NOW… before you hop on about how I don’t know what I’m talking about… keep in mind that I’m speaking about MY region. Washington, California, Illinois… maybe a dozen other states, there will be people saying Bernie is a downright CENTRIST. But in the system of government we have now… those states don’t matter. Fuck, painful as it is to say… Iowa doesn’t matter… National Pundits and Gerrymandering have pretty much preordained that this is (and will remain) staunchly Trump Country. SO… who do we have to convince?
Michigan, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Florida. Ohio and Iowa are “foregone conclusions” but they COULD be saved with a candidate the state Dems would support.

And in an election where 50 million people will be the deciding factor for the other 277 million of us… I don’t want to risk 4 more years of Trump just because the passionate Dems “wanted to jump start the revolution”.

So if the prior topic could be called my response to the Democratic Debate last night; I’ll go over my response to Trump’s Public Therapy Session. Because frankly (especially last night) these aren’t rallies. These are “entertainment arena events.” In other words… Trump is a mentally unwell man that is in many ways a parody of what he believes himself to be… but has enough supporters that he thinks he’s the rightful Super Star of Smackdown! Yes… I’m suggesting he is a wrestling persona… because Trump is in the WWE Hall of Fame… and his friggin rallies are pretty much the same thing anymore.

Other than his mini-strokes, mispronunciations, unfettered rambling, incessant lying, and bullying behavior.... which aggravatingly is no fucking different from usual… the thing that bothered me the most about his dumb fucking rally?

Trump, famous for interrupting himself to go off script and say painful things, interrupted himself when discussing the strike/assassination on al-Baghdadi. NOTE: If you are going to talk about an event to kill an enemy of the people… discuss the danger, the threat, and then discuss how (thanks to your leadership and the sacrifices of the brave men and women in uniform) the threat was terminated. THAT is adult… presidential… rational. So obviously, NOT what Trump did. He interrupted himself to discuss Conan the Military K9 unit that was injured in the raid. (Political Strategist in the wings would be thinking Good, okay. Mention the hero dog. Thank the wounded heroes and move on). Trump, instead, COMPLAINED ABOUT THE PRESS COVERAGE!

This man… who has no empathy, emotional health, mental health, or ability to reign himself the fuck in… interrupted himself… so that he could complain about a MILITARY HERO DOG getting more press coverage FOR GETTING WOUNDED IN A MILITARY RAID HE WAS IN… then the President got for okaying the raid. How… how can any human mind not see that as bizarre at the very least?! You’re going to bitch about a hero dog getting more press coverage than you? You’re the fucking president… who is on TV all the time… and you’ve got Fox News almost constantly sucking your dick… and AT A RALLY THROWN FOR YOU… you’re going to complain that for a brief moment in your life a wounded hero dog got more press than you.

The man is a preening psychopath with no understanding of how to be an adult, a politician, or a human being.
So I ask again: WHY IS “troll the libs” MORE IMPORTANT THAN A COMPETENT PRESIDENT?!

Today’s morning was busy but the busy of the morning actually just means I’ll have… some rather… uncomfortable and busy… and stressful nights in March and April.

You see, the boss has implemented a new rule because he wants to make sure our office is supporting our law enforcement officers more. Therefore, new office policy… if police are responding to any crime where the perp is armed or is said to be armed… we are REQUIRED to get a conviction for something. NO plea deals that don’t end in a conviction on the record.

So… for example… because this is one of my cases… police get a phone call from a woman that her ex-husband has a gun, is waving it around, and is threatening to kill himself. Police show up. He has the gun to his head. He is announcing that he will pull the trigger. He is, essentially, holding himself hostage at this point. DESPITE police telling the ex-wife to get out of the way and leave him to them… she charges in and forces her head between the gun barrel and her ex’s head; knowing he won’t hurt her, he’s just trying to kill himself.
Since, technically, he was then pointing a gun at her, he was arrested and charged with Domestic Violence.

Because of the new rule… I’m supposed to get a conviction on this man for something. I took the exact wording to his attorney. Tell me what he wants to plead to, I’ll agree. Any law on the books and any sentence he wants; I’ll give it to him.

But… not surprisingly… the guy wants to go to trial. After all, he would say, he was only trying to kill himself. AND (technically, honestly) trying to kill yourself is not a crime in the State of Iowa… unless you’re pregnant. The rules honestly are written to the point where that sentence is true… and it bothers me. But that’s a different discussion. SO.... uhm..... yeah. Yeah.

Oh… stupid Internet quizzes! As a lark, I took this thing that said “Select a preference and we’ll show you what your perfect attraction is”. Obviously, I’m curious. I expect it to turn out to look like one of those funny if creepy magazine cutout projects… rather similar to like Weird Science. I’m not taking the thing seriously per se, but I’m always curious what “narrow from this to get THIS” kind of things look like.

But as I’m selecting things (Pick one: Firm Breasts, Firm Butt, Firm Legs, Firm Arms)… when I select one (Firm Legs) one answer turns red and one answer turns green. This continues to happen (Pick one: Eyes- Green, Brown, Blue, Hazel)… I select green, and I’m told “Wrong. The correct answer is Hazel.” And now I’m starting to think… what the fuck?! How the… you… you can’t actually DO THAT. You can’t have a “select a preference” quiz that has wrong answers. That… that is directly antithetical to the entire concept of “preferences”. With very few exceptions… preferences can never be “wrong” or “right.” The conceptual chaos of the whole thing bothers me immensely. But I think to myself, “Okay. Maybe they just had to do a right/wrong algorithm to get it published. There’s no way this whole thing is intended as a Quiz. Maybe they still have the “composite” at the end.”

NOPE. I got to the end of the whole thing, clicked submit, and got my score… apparently, I had answered 44 questions correctly and 77 questions incorrectly.

WHAT?! How does that make any damned sense?! The thing wasn’t “Do you and the creator of this quiz agree as to what is ultimate attraction?” That wasn’t the thing at all. It was billed as determining what I considered ‘perfect attraction’. What a stupid, broken, lame, dumb fucking thing.

Something just occurred to me today, actually. I don’t need to fill in a whole long host of travel visa and massive paperwork to go from Minnesota to Canada. BUT… it has been a long time since I traveled off-continent. Like… last time I did that, I was 16… and everything was handled by the Concert Tour Promoter. I wonder if I need to start looking into VISA items for Japan. I wonder if that would or wouldn’t be taken care of by the tour company. Because it sounds like we’d get ourselves to LAX from Iowa, and then we’re part of the tour group from LA to Tokyo to Asakusa to Odaiba to Kakunodate to Ishinomaki to Matsushima to Sendai to Tokyo to LA. So… are they doing group visa stuff? I’m assuming Japan has tourist visa requirements, in the first place I’m guessing. Actually, I’m assuming all of this without even knowing if the trip ist still on considering Wuhan SARS-CoV-2 is a global concern (but of particular concern when traveling to Asian countries!) Something to discuss with MBFITWW when our passports arrive.


THE ABC’S OF YOU - Come on, play along

Age - 35
Bed Size - Queen
Cats- 0
Cat names - N/A
Dogs-1
Dog names- Nala
Essential start of your day- Pet the puppy!
Favorite color - Green, Purple, Red, Black
Ghosts exist - In some forms yes, in some forms no
Height - 5‘7
Instrument you played in school - cello
Kids - 0
Longest relationship- 14 years
Mood- Perma-Tired but mostly neutral
Night Owl - on occasion; rarely by choice
Overnight Hospital stay - hells yeah… I’m actually used to them
Pet peeve- The selfish and intentionally ignorant
Quiet time hobbies- Watching movies, playing video games, reading
Right or Left handed- right
Siblings- 1
Top 2 TV - (DAMN Difficult!) I’d likely say.... fuck… uhm.... probably… Spin City and Brooklyn Nine Nine
Vacation- favorite I’ve ever had is likely Bermuda or Hawaii but… then again… I don’t vacation often… for example… the two I mentioned… were 14 years apart
Worst day of the week- Tuesday. Mondays are painful, Wednesdays begin the downhill, Thursdays are weekend adjacent.
XBox or PS4- Playstation which I NEVER thought I’d say. I was Nintendo 4 Lyfe… but when College Consoles were clearly Sony or X Box, I went Sony immediately. PS2! W00T… but then it broke… over… and over… and over… and over… and over… I went through SO FUCKING MANY because of stupid hardware bullshit. So I figured fuck it! NEVER AGAIN. X Box 360! And I liked it. I liked its backwards compatible elements as I was absolutely in love with some of X Box’s exclusive games. But when it came time to do X Box 1 X or PS4? PS4 won the vote and I’ve been pretty happy with it ever since. Likely because… unlike the PS2 and the X Box 360… I haven’t had to purchase a new PS4 yet due to shitty hardware errors.
Yummy food you like- Shrimp!
Zoo favorites- Sea Otters and any creature that expresses facially.