Survey, I'm always stealing them from P.M. in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

Before I get to the survey:

(1) I am telling Martha to get an apartment and get a separate bank account by March 1st. I imagine this will go one of two ways, because that is Martha all over. Either, she will approach it rationally and accept that such a request is reasonable. OR, she’ll become very upset and start a fight where her only responses are excuses as to why she can’t be expected to adult. Either one is equally possible.

(2) I have finished pretty much all of my work for the week. I mean… I have plea hearings figured out, pretrial conferences planned and scheduled, responses to motions drafted and filed. Granted next Thursday promises to be all sorts of crazy… so it would behoove me to spend the additional down time prepping for that. And I will. I will. I mean… I have 10 days until next Thursday, so I’ll use that time wisely. There are always surprises and criminals that spring up out of nowhere on the schedule but… it is my goal and my hope to have the next 4 weeks as scheduled perfectly as possible by the end of the present week!

(3) As a husband, I was of the opinion that a joint bank account meant that most purchases beyond fuel and food should be discussed with one’s spouse. For instance, if I wanted to buy new shoes, new clothes, or new technology… I should discuss it with my Wife. Martha was not of the same opinion and felt no need to discuss buying new shoes with me (as she often bought many) or consult me on spending in most ways. I bring this up for a number of reasons, but presently I chiefly bring it up because I actually look forward to spending my money the way I want. Oh, I must remember to be a bit frugal but say… something like an extended hard drive I feel I can purchase because I want to, not because I was successful in petitioning my wife and then winning the argument as to why I want the one specifically rated for my purposes as opposed to the cheaper one that may or may not be rated for my purposes.

(4) There’s something I feel I want to bring up but I don’t know how to do so properly. Having grown up so deeply rooted in diplomacy and polite society; it is difficult for me to just… blast through and state something without agonizing, first, over what may be the best way to say it. I feel that some people mistake my expectations. As a person who shares Chive Photos and other types of images, I fear that some people think I am one of these.... shorter, fatter men who believe they can get a Bella Hadid, or a Nina North, or a Cintia Dicker. I’m not that guy. Trust me. Looking around on Bumble, I swipe right probably 89% of the time. On Tinder, probably about 74% of the time. I’m not one of these 35 year olds hoping to meet some knockout 23 year old. I only mention this because… I am getting closer to the point where I may ask about assistance in these Dating Apps. NOT because I want to find the next Mrs any time soon. But because I absolutely know myself. After Martha leaves, it will take me roughly six to eight months for me to “be ready” to earnestly and honestly approach things again. But it is a small window. If I’ve had nothing but failure leading up to that six to eight months… and experience nothing but failure after that? Then I’ll be ready to throw in the towel and give up forever right around May 2021. And that would truly be a shitty 37th birthday present for yours truly.

How old are you?
35.

Why are you taking this survey?
Because my work for the entire week is done and I have 150 minutes left in my Monday

Which school subject did you/are you failing?
I did very poorly in mathematics in sixth grade. I should have failed more things my Senior year of High School but after my girlfriend tried to kill me, the teachers realized why I had started to tank my grades and took pity.

Allergic to anything?
Mostly medications.

Who are your favorite bands?
I love so many different types of music and rarely get the band name. But my TOPS are probably
Queen, David Bowie, Michael Jackson, Prince, 311, Linkin Park, Tool, A Perfect Circle, Weird Al Yankovic, Gaelic Storm

Which label are you? Or are you not a soup can?
See, I wasn’t even thinking that way! After discussing music, I was thinking like.... Def Jams, Sony, Epitaph Records.... those kinds of labels. As far as soup… no, I am not a soup can. I am a film canister.

How do you mark through your word search puzzles?
I circle the word on the puzzle and then strikethrough the word in the “here’s what you look for” list. I didn’t know there was another way.

Have you ever sewn something?
I have. I’m shite at sewing clothing. I’ve sewn nets for fishing and leather for coats, though.

What color is your hair?
Mostly light brown with some white and grey spots forming

Do you like how you look? Anything you want to change?
Frankly… if I could get my original face back I’d be happy. I mean… a little bit of a gut, fine, but… where did my chin and bright smile go?!

Name a CD you have or one you would like to have.
I have many CDs as I do not have an Apple Device to play music. One CD I have? “Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Songs from the Series”

Say something random.
The uncircumcised penis may be considered more hygienic but it does come with its own slight annoyances.

Have you heard of/seen the show Prison Break on FOX Network?
I’ve obviously heard of it, but I never watched it.

What did you do to that monster under your bed?
I quite seriously was friends with all the monsters in my room. They each did something unique and had very unique personalities. The monster under my bed was a dragon. It was so large that no other monsters could GET under the bed, but it wasn’t a bad Dragon… just very cranky. For instance, if he was awake and willing, you could talk to him and have him engage the other monsters. But if he was asleep? Oooh boy, you’d better not wake him up! Cuz he gets CRANKY!

What did you eat for dinner last night?
A shrimp, cheese, mushroom, pasta recipe Martha found on-line.

Name one of your pet peeves.
Complete failure to be held accountable for your actions. To me, that is the greatest dishonor.

Have you ever watched an episode of Barney?
I believe I have watched two full episodes of the Purple Dinosaur in my entire life.

What is the stupidest movie you’ve ever seen?
I have seen some epically stupid movies. Like… the worst in the world. One that I honestly think could be done well if they reworked it, though, is “The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies”

Hit me with your best shot (insult).
You may look like an idiot, and you may talk like an idiot… but that’s okay. It’s only because you’re an idiot.

When was the last time you replaced your toothbrush?
Tragically, it has been a long time. Several months, in fact.

Do you hate people who ask a lot of questions?
Not particularly. Provided the questions are of some importance or have merit

Do you have any cavities?
Many, some repaired some not

Tell me a knock-knock joke.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Cam
Cam Who?
Camus supported anarcho-syndicalism.

Can you name more than five u.s. presidents?
Washington, Jefferson, Addams, Harrison, Cleveland (non-consecutively)

What’s your favorite type of candy?
Chocolate with a fruit zing to it of some kind

Have you ever seen a roll of bluish-green toilet paper?
Yes. In a church, I believe.

What if I told you I bought a package of bluish-green toilet paper?
I would totally believe you but ask whether you bought it for the novelty of the color or the comfort of the wipe

Finish the poem: “Roses are red, violets are blue…”
winter is the best season for the eating of stew

Know any magic tricks?
I do know a few. I used to sell the cheap “easy magic and you” sets in high school

What’s your favorite radio station?
Typically 107.9 but that doesn’t come in all that well all the time.

What are you wearing right now?
Black suit pants, black suit coat, blue and yellow shirt, and an undershirt (I rarely wear one and I feel bulky doing so, but it is cold today)

Have any lint in your belly button?
Probably. Nala will get it if I lay down on the floor tonight

Can you name five ‘z’ words off the top of your head?
Zebra, Zero, Zoo, Zoroastrian, Zillions

Which color looks best on you?
I’d say black.

Do you collect anything?
Comic Books (very behind in this); Video Games (of certain franchises), Movies (John Cusack, Jet Li, Michael J Fox)

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
Sisqo apparently knows but won’t tell anyone

What kind of milk do you drink?
Skim Milk. I know Mr. Swanson says it’s water that is lying about being milk; but A&E does it really well

Play any instruments?
The Cello

What’s your favorite kind of soda?
Dr. Pepper.

Favorite kind of gum?
I actually don’t have one. Never was a huge gum chewer

Do/did any of your teachers have it out for you?
Tough to say. I tried to be a perfect student when I could because my mom also taught in the district

If a rooster laid an egg on the peak of a roof which side would it roll to?
Roosters don’t lay eggs.

What do your pajamas look like?
When I wear any… sweatpants and a shirt; though I usually sleep in ze nude

Where are you right now?
At my desk at work.

Where where you at last Tuesday at 3:00 p.m.?
At my desk at work.

Ever won a prize for something?
Many. I’ve won prizes for writing, for cello, for swimming, for fishing, for acting

Ever been grounded? If so for what?
I was grounded only once. I missed curfew my senior year in high school.

Do you have a job?
Yes.

What color is the blanket on your bed?
Green

What kind/color flooring do you have in your house?
Hard wood floors everywhere except the bedrooms and basement which is carpeted.

Do you even want to know what’s in a hotdog?
I actually do know and that is why, despite my pleasure of them, I avoid them when trying to lose weight

You’ve just been arrested. Yes, arrested. What are the charges?
Either sexual assault or domestic violence. Not that I’d likely do either one but I genuinely appreciate that he who liveth by the sword may dieth by the sword.