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A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever grows there

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My mind dissociates from my body causing a functional freeze. This is when I will rot in my bed for most of the day. Every small task feels too overwhelming. I have not experienced this in almost...


August 23, 2024

V for Vendetta in Current Events

V is for vagina in this part of the entry. A customer at work was hiding nothing with her blue tights. They were shorts? She was spilling out of them. Long black hair with extensions, botched bot...


August 22, 2024

Meday in Current Events

I broke the ice with my roommate. I haven’t said a word to her in almost two weeks. My work bought me an individual vegan pizza, which I brought home for her as I don’t eat hybridized wheat. It f...


I am frustrated with the dealership I purchased my car from. I made a $500 deposit to secure the vehicle. It is supposed to be deposited back but no action has been taken yet. I did reach out to ...


Today was long and full of terrors. My night was as well. I dreamt about Gods and monsters. Candace Owens was there too. I don’t know what the dream was about but I kept waking up terrified. This...


My therapist paralleled my previous entry. We discussed a lot of what I mentioned without me having to bring it up. I wanted to talk about my anger issues. My anxiety and depression have been abs...


August 16, 2024

V for Values in Current Events

I went 38 years without knowing that I had ADHD. I’m very high-functioning. I never gave it any thought until I experienced the ADHD paralysis this year. It brought me back to how I was in high s...


August 15, 2024

Back To Reality in Current Events

My reality check bounced. I say that in jest. I am tuning back into my fragile little world though. I’m feeling stressed about that job interview I had yesterday. It’s out of my hands now. I have...


August 14, 2024

He/Then in Current Events

I was thrown off by my first interview question. First of all, what are your pronouns? I am not that confident about my interview today. I’ll have to wait up to two weeks to hear back from them....


August 13, 2024

Air in Current Events

I feel like I have so much to say but I can’t get anything out. The getaway was nice but it is time to return to my so-called life. Lenstar’s neighbor was my math teacher at the Adult Education ...


August 13, 2024

Trippin' in Current Events

It was a rough start to my trip on Friday. While I was loading my car, I managed to lock myself out of the building for 40 minutes. I dropped my keys at some point. I was rage-packing and got clu...


August 08, 2024

Thought Less in Current Events

They are just thoughts. I have been telling myself. That is my current mantra. The missing piece that my therapist gave me. Today, my thoughts were racing so hard that it felt like a hole was bur...


August 08, 2024

Mood Poisoning in Current Events

I went to bed angry and then I woke up angry. Then I went to work angry. It was a half day but I still left work angry. I don’t even know what I’m angry at. Maybe it’s andropause. Though my mood...


August 08, 2024

Water Fight in Current Events

It’s been almost a week and I can’t get my stomach to act right. It’s like every bite I swallow feels like a sucker punch. After I quit smoking, I couldn’t handle smoke of any kind. After I quit ...


August 06, 2024

NRG in Current Events

I just caught myself in avoidance mode. I feel like I have to rush to do all the little things so that I can tackle my crisis list after that. I’m going to stop dead in my tracks and just enjoy m...


I still have butterflies for no reason. Well, I suppose there is a reason. I must be beside myself about my new car. While I was napping, I noticed that my stomach was throbbing, internally. I u...


August 04, 2024

Butterflies in Current Events

I’m not sure what I was expecting with this car purchase. I felt let down for no reason last night. Just a scosh and for no reason. Somewhere in my psyche, I must have given it the script that it...


I brought my 2021 Charger home today. I feel like I’m going to be sick. It’s just a lot to take in. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited about it! I didn’t get a chance to play with it because I had ...


August 02, 2024

TGIF in Current Events

The week was long and full of terrors. I’m so glad that it is over. My mother sent me a text this morning. She is trying to burst my bubble. She is raining on my parade. She is… being my mother....


August 01, 2024

Guilty As Charged in Current Events

I just made a $500 deposit to secure the 2021 Dodge Charger. I go in on Saturday to finalize everything. I am pretty excited about it. The search is over. I remembered that I had a status card s...


July 31, 2024

Chill Pill in Current Events

Right after I wrote my entry yesterday I took a dip in the pool to cool off. My anger issues have been under control since I started going to bed at 8 PM. Though, it hasn’t been perfect. While I ...


The shock bled the red from my face. My roommate let her hair down the other day. She stepped in front of me and it was all I could see. Her alopecia has gotten worse. Who cares?! It didn’t do a...


July 30, 2024

Saga Continues in Current Events

Besides the car hunt, how is life? My mother asked me. My life is on hold until further notice. This has been so exhausting. I am spooked by my upcoming shifts. It is a few weeks away but they d...


If my heart could beat it would break my chest. Sure, I have big brain energy but I forget that my heart is even bigger. My relationship with my mother is very precious to me. Her news makes my h...


July 28, 2024

Dumb Ages in Current Events

My mother was diagnosed with COPD. She told me this morning. I haven’t had time to process it but I am feeling devastated. It’s pretty heavy on my heart. I keep getting flashbacks of my childhood...


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