Entries 444

Page 11 of 18

deleting every facebook post I’ve ever made. I tried doing a purge, but FB is completely retarded and won’t allow me to do that. So. I’m deleting every. single. post. individually. for the past 1...

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Yesterday, after Creep-O 5k sent me that message, I had responded & blocked, I had a pretty weird day. In the mail, was a plain white envelope addressed to me in blue ink, return address a c...

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I’m pretty sure that I wrote about my therapy partner before. He was some dude on the server. I wanted a female partner, and posed a request reflecting as much. He insisted on being my partner. A...

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There is an emotional reality present within all of us. I say reality, because our emotional experience is empirical, objective, and involuntary. Just as I cannot will away the check engine ligh...

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she sent me a few quotes to reflect on recently, and then a longer email about her views on my problems. lol I responded honestly, of course. In my response, I had a quip, which I should have kn...

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A Survey General What kind of house do you live in (condo, single family, apartment, craftsman, ranch, etc.)? Pretty sure it’s called a cottage. It’s cute. What kind of siding does it have? Ceda...

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I surround myself with ineffective, harmless people. I realized that about my long time best friend of 15+ years, the other weak. And I’m realizing this about my husband, too. BUT. I am changing...

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These last few weeks, I’ve been wondering what affect my dad’s fathering has had on me. I knew it wasn’t good; I just couldn’t seem to sift through all the shit and pin anything down. I couldn’t...

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Judo has been out for a long while. Since Covid hit. My local club was so much fun. I mean… to me it was one of the only things that really consistently gave me joy. And company. Yesterday, I fe...

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I am plagued by so much self- blame. People point it out to me all the time. “But, that isn’t your fault,” they say. “Why are you taking responsibility for that?” or “You’re So much nicer than I...

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I don’t want to be that way. I think that I am finding how to get out of that trap. That tired and bitter mindset which looks at the world with loathing and a “poor me” attitude. It’s an attitudi...

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I find myself thinking back to who I was 10 or even 5 years ago, and wishing if only I knew then what I know now… where would I be? I wonder. Certainly, not here. All that to say- I bitterly wis...

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I’ve exchanged email with my Aunt over the last several days. I find myself more and more shocked and appalled. I don’t know why, but I thought that she was different. Just another thing that I ...

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me yesterday. I want to say “out of the blue”, but we had emailed about having a phone conversation last week. It just didn’t work out. So he called me yesterday evening/afternoon. I felt surpri...

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gone. It’s gone! I didn’t will it away, or wish it away, or anything like that. I just stood up for myself. I defined my boundaries, and I defended them. Angrily, sure. I defended them with ang...

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to say. I have been toying with the idea to start a youtube channel. Well. Mostly to publish on it. I already have one. I publish here about a third of what I write, and that’s only lately. I fe...

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And I commented on a “If you did this then you’re a big fat blank” post. And, it went well. It really did. I can’t help but contrast what happened (internally, for me personally) this time vers...

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My dad always told me Follow the Money, and that is one of the few things he said that was actually useful. Copied from a friend; Cycle of Civilization - Where We Are Working dudes pay inter...

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I am a-political. I really don’t care who your guy is or isn’t. The country has gone to shit. But, it’s been circling the drain for awhile now. More, I am saddened by the lack of brotherly love ...

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just sent me a text that said “I miss my daughter” First time I’ve heard from him since July.

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Still don’t know what to do. I want so badly for someone to tell me what to do. And it’s not lost on me that, at my most vulnerable, those that respond with advice or edicts are just manipulator...

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his parents. The long and short of it was; You Are Wrong for having any concerns. We love you but you can’t Judge people. So we’re going to not talk about it and Judge you until you agree with u...

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Yea, I am lost. I don’t really know what to do. I’ve got this idea that we can be great people. We could be awesome. We should be good. But… I don’t know how. DH is depressed. Idk how I never r...

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I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. I complain about my mother a lot. To myself, mostly. Which is… unproductive. All complaining is unproductive. And it stems from a lack of boundaries. A lac...

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So I am feeling jaded about continuing on with group therapy. I use that term “group therapy” very loosely, since it’s little more than a book club. It was just nice because it was so laid back a...

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