Miss Chiffs Manager ⋅ 36 ⋅

Wife / Mom! / Biodynamic Urban Farmer / Nutrition Science Buff / Ultra Frugal (Cheap!) Lifestylist / Avid Reader / Writer Extraordinaire / In Pursuit of Moral, Physical, and Intellectual Excellence.

If you do not possess a deep capacity for Anger, your Compassion or so-called Gentleness means nothing to me.

Anonymous

Entries 444

Page 11 of 18

January 31, 2021

Lately I've been in Journal

deleting every facebook post I’ve ever made. I tried doing a purge, but FB is completely retarded and won’t allow me to do that. So. I’m deleting every. single. post. individually. for the past 1...


Yesterday, after Creep-O 5k sent me that message, I had responded & blocked, I had a pretty weird day. In the mail, was a plain white envelope addressed to me in blue ink, return address a c...


I’m pretty sure that I wrote about my therapy partner before. He was some dude on the server. I wanted a female partner, and posed a request reflecting as much. He insisted on being my partner. A...


January 28, 2021

Reality in A Childhood Lost

There is an emotional reality present within all of us. I say reality, because our emotional experience is empirical, objective, and involuntary. Just as I cannot will away the check engine ligh...


January 28, 2021

Aunt, again in Journal

she sent me a few quotes to reflect on recently, and then a longer email about her views on my problems. lol I responded honestly, of course. In my response, I had a quip, which I should have kn...


January 26, 2021

Hey, in Journal

A Survey General What kind of house do you live in (condo, single family, apartment, craftsman, ranch, etc.)? Pretty sure it’s called a cottage. It’s cute. What kind of siding does it have? Ceda...


January 26, 2021

Self Knowledge is Hard in Journal

I surround myself with ineffective, harmless people. I realized that about my long time best friend of 15+ years, the other weak. And I’m realizing this about my husband, too. BUT. I am changing...


January 26, 2021

No Protection in A Childhood Lost

These last few weeks, I’ve been wondering what affect my dad’s fathering has had on me. I knew it wasn’t good; I just couldn’t seem to sift through all the shit and pin anything down. I couldn’t...


January 23, 2021

Dismayed in Journal

Judo has been out for a long while. Since Covid hit. My local club was so much fun. I mean… to me it was one of the only things that really consistently gave me joy. And company. Yesterday, I fe...


I am plagued by so much self- blame. People point it out to me all the time. “But, that isn’t your fault,” they say. “Why are you taking responsibility for that?” or “You’re So much nicer than I...


January 21, 2021

Tired and Bitter in Journal

I don’t want to be that way. I think that I am finding how to get out of that trap. That tired and bitter mindset which looks at the world with loathing and a “poor me” attitude. It’s an attitudi...


January 19, 2021

I'm Old... in Journal

I find myself thinking back to who I was 10 or even 5 years ago, and wishing if only I knew then what I know now… where would I be? I wonder. Certainly, not here. All that to say- I bitterly wis...


January 16, 2021

Blown Away in Journal

I’ve exchanged email with my Aunt over the last several days. I find myself more and more shocked and appalled. I don’t know why, but I thought that she was different. Just another thing that I ...


January 12, 2021

My Aunt called in Journal

me yesterday. I want to say “out of the blue”, but we had emailed about having a phone conversation last week. It just didn’t work out. So he called me yesterday evening/afternoon. I felt surpri...


January 11, 2021

My Anger is in Journal

gone. It’s gone! I didn’t will it away, or wish it away, or anything like that. I just stood up for myself. I defined my boundaries, and I defended them. Angrily, sure. I defended them with ang...


January 10, 2021

I have a lot in Journal

to say. I have been toying with the idea to start a youtube channel. Well. Mostly to publish on it. I already have one. I publish here about a third of what I write, and that’s only lately. I fe...


January 10, 2021

On FB Again in Journal

And I commented on a “If you did this then you’re a big fat blank” post. And, it went well. It really did. I can’t help but contrast what happened (internally, for me personally) this time vers...


January 09, 2021

Money Money Money in Journal

My dad always told me Follow the Money, and that is one of the few things he said that was actually useful. Copied from a friend; Cycle of Civilization - Where We Are Working dudes pay inter...


January 09, 2021

Reactionary in Journal

I am a-political. I really don’t care who your guy is or isn’t. The country has gone to shit. But, it’s been circling the drain for awhile now. More, I am saddened by the lack of brotherly love ...


January 08, 2021

My dad in Journal

just sent me a text that said “I miss my daughter” First time I’ve heard from him since July.


January 06, 2021

Still Lost in Journal

Still don’t know what to do. I want so badly for someone to tell me what to do. And it’s not lost on me that, at my most vulnerable, those that respond with advice or edicts are just manipulator...


January 05, 2021

Letter From in Journal

his parents. The long and short of it was; You Are Wrong for having any concerns. We love you but you can’t Judge people. So we’re going to not talk about it and Judge you until you agree with u...


January 04, 2021

A Bit Lost in Journal

Yea, I am lost. I don’t really know what to do. I’ve got this idea that we can be great people. We could be awesome. We should be good. But… I don’t know how. DH is depressed. Idk how I never r...


December 29, 2020

Relationships in Journal

I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. I complain about my mother a lot. To myself, mostly. Which is… unproductive. All complaining is unproductive. And it stems from a lack of boundaries. A lac...


December 28, 2020

What's Right? in Journal

So I am feeling jaded about continuing on with group therapy. I use that term “group therapy” very loosely, since it’s little more than a book club. It was just nice because it was so laid back a...


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