Miss Chiffs Manager ⋅ 37 ⋅
Mom! / Biodynamic Urban Farmer / Naturopathic Doctor / Anthroposophist / Mystic / Avid Reader / Writer Extraordinaire / In Pursuit of Moral, Physical, and Intellectual Excellence.
The ending is written into the beginning
Entries 668
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Pure Affection in Journal
The Toltecs say that there is a realm of pure affection which underlies this entire realm. I don’t know if any of that is true or not. But I do feel this affection. I feel it like a vague (but ...
I have Energy in Journal
Enough to run around outside with my son for a few hours. We built a big sledding ramp with snow and sled down it a bunch. I also just ran around for no reason other than I felt like it. I hav...
The Mystical Commandments in Essays
I woke up with a vision. A nostalgic thoughtfulness which brought me dreamily back to my childhood, my own children, and how I perceive that we are commanded. Not through text, or any book or ...
Dreaming is the Natural state of Consciousness in Essays
“When we study the human astral body, we must necessarily turn our attention to the most prominent aspect of man’s astral body in the way that it manifests itself on the Earth. This is conscious...
Interaction in Meditations
Last night I dreamt of this general theme. I woke seeing a figure of a man sitting in lotus position backlit by a divine golden light. I woke to this image several times. I have a sense that tha...
Insecurity that I can’t quite identify plagues my mind. The sense of realness of this place is starting to ebb. I remember how Black Beauty was redeemed. And I wonder if the so-called flyers ar...
Think about this in Journal
“ordinarily, dreamers are merely voyeurs. The way your journey turned out, you two got a ringside seat and lived the old sorcerers’ damnation. What happened to them was precisely what happened t...
The act of recalling my dreams has started to take on a new character. I feel that I remember my dreams, and that there is a portal into it. A wisp or a fragment which can transport me into it....
I walked into in Journal
The county recorders office and Out of some background haze a woman greeted me at the counter. “What can I do for you today?” She asked. I gave her the quilt claim deed. She tried to read it...
Sweeping the kitchen I become aware. Who is sweeping the kitchen? Who made the decision? Who is running this program? Because it is a program.... It is not something I consciously decided...
Dreaming in Meditations
Is it possible to dream ourselves into a new reality? Right out of the division and vampirism. And into a universal type of peace. I don’t mean anything so idealistic that I, or any one pers...
I was out in a very strange place. It was mountainous, not unlike Sedona. I came into a group setting, again not unlike the one in Sedona. Except I was finding myself on the top of a bluff, in...
Repentance in Essays
As an Energetic Law of the Universe Outside of the religious context, Repentance doesn’t get a lot of attention. And, inside the religious context, repentance has some extremely negative connot...
Lack of Energy in Journal
“Lack of energy is what put a lid on your memory,” don Juan said. “When you have sufficient energy, your memory will work fine.” “Don Juan’s argument was that I had two choices. One was to foll...
Denial Years in Meditations
Yesterday, I awoke with something that I hadn’t bad conscious access to for 17 years. I got up and showered in the dark. I didn’t turn on my lights. The night before, we had gone out into the ...
Recapitulation in Meditations
The quality of this word has grown for me over the weekend. As I recapitulate the experience of seeing my eyes in the mirror as silver alien saucers, I feel an undeniable surge of pleasant ene...
They Eyes in Meditations
In the mirror appeared too big for my face. I blinked. They were mine. I studied them. Silvery fog, ringed by lighter color and darker towards the center. They grew slightly or contracted sligh...
Today has been wild in Journal
I woke up with a profound realization and memories that I haven’t had access to in 17 years. I woke up and remembered the moment that I wished away my ability to see energy and spirit. I wishe...
Throughout my time in the Denial Years, I was still acting and living from the same place. Or, the same forces were acting on me and being transmitted through me, digested and transformed, into ...
Thumped by Spirit in Meditations
I feel like I been hit over the head - right into Oz. Or somewhere similarly magical. I woke up with incredible insights into my life. My childhoods. Consciousnesses. Perception. And energy. ...
I felt astonished by her beauty. I stood in the cold for many minutes, oblivious to my hands and face becoming red and painful. This morning, she still graced us with her magical presence even...
An Update in Meditations
It’s so difficult to remember what day something happened anymore. I constantly check the calendar. My sense of time has gone completely. Uuhg. Duh. I just remembered I started that mushroom s...
I Need to Remember This in Dreams
I had a feeling that I’d dreamt something of great importance. Something that I needed to remember. I need to remember this I thought to myself, repeatedly. I had a sense of a world spanning...
and Humility. Always in balance. Always dancing and throwing more shit for the other to catch! Lmao On the front of work and giving and striving to “evolve”- I have realized I’m stalling and ...
Trigger and in Journal
Feelings of anxiety constrict my chest. “Now you’ve made a mess.” I cringe. I say that sometimes, when my kids make a mess. It’s a funny thing to say. We already know there’s a mess. Why say i...
