Hypnotica ⋅ 40 ⋅
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Smashing it in 2021
I had a scan of my brain to check for any new mets because I was having more problems with my legs but actually the tumours had “significantly” reduced so that’s fucking good news! They did a fol...
Well we weren’t expecting THAT. in 2021
On July 8th I was diagnosed with lung cancer. I’m not a smoker, so they don’t know where it’s come from. It’s metastasised to my brain, which is bad news as you can imagine. We were in the middle...
Oh my sweet gorgeous boy. I’m sorry that I’m grumpy and tired and impatient. I love you so much and I feel terrified that I won’t be good enough for you, that everything I do is somehow making yo...
My friend John did his PhD with me in Cardiff and lived in the U.K. for about 10 years I think, but he’s from a California originally. He moved back to America just before I split up with Tom and...
Arthur is 9 months old now, it’s gone so quickly. But also feels like a lifetime. It certainly feels longer than when the amount of time I was pregnant. I wish I could write more here. I wish I’...
New normal in 2018
It’s so weird to try and think back to before, when he wasn’t here. I kind of can’t imagine how I ever just went to work every day and my head and life were so full of that. I do get some time ou...
Well there we go then. I barely write here anymore (evidenced by the fact I haven’t even made a “2018” chapter) but I did still read all you guys and I liked the simple format. But, it is what it...
Come at me bro in 2017
Ok I think I am now pretty much Christmas ready. I was doing so well and was all ahead of time at the beginning of December, then I got shot down by some dreadful lurgy and have been sick for wee...
My cat has anxiety in 2017
I think Molly needs to be medicated. She’s a two year old British shorthair and she is ADORABLE but also COMPLETELY STUPID. She is terrified of everything. She just went from fast asleep to ‘high...
Good lord I'm boring in 2017
There is much discussion around the difference between OD and PB at the moment, and the fact is that the world is not the same as it was back then. We don’t have time to be indulgent and creative...
On staying public in 2017
I don’t think there is anything here that is of any interest to anyone anyway. I can’t believe someone would want to destroy someone’s life in this way, I just don’t understand the motives. I don...
Every day is a school day in 2017
Oh hey, women folk! Bearer of wombs, havers of periods. Ever heard of a decidual cast? No me either. Apparently it’s associated with elevated progesterone like in pregnancy, or when your consult...
Cardiff has got me right in the fucking feels this time. I think because I’ve been here doing actual work and living in a friends house. All the Cardiff houses are exactly the same feel inside so...
Checked out in 2016
Holy moly I am ready for Christmas. I am in work in body but my mind is NOT committed. I really should have booked this week off. I am so tired and I feel like my brain has shut down, it can’t pr...
NoJoMo 10 in NoJoMo 2016
I’m not doing very well with NoJoMo because I have a new job and everything is mad busy. I am SO TIRED today. I’m also trying to get my attendance up at roller derby so I am eligible to play in o...
Nojomo 6 in NoJoMo 2016
6) What smell are you grateful for today? The sweet crisp scent of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. And that’s why I can’t be arsed answering yesterday’s prompt or writing anymore of this entry
NoJoMo 4 in NoJoMo 2016
4) List 10 songs you’re into right now. This is a toughie! 1) Good Grief - Bastille 2) Adulthood - Jukebox The Ghost 3) Home - Gabrielle Aplin 4) This Town - Niall Horan 5) Frank Turner - The N...
NoJoMo 3 in NoJoMo 2016
So today’s prompt is: 3) What kind of person attracts you/what attracted you to your SO? These are 2 very separate questions in my opinion! I am physically attracted to all kinds of people for al...
NoJoMo 1 in NoJoMo 2016
So I’l never write an entry a day because that never happens but I’ll give it a bash and write more than usual at least right?! In real news, I got a new job. It’s in the same department as my ol...
Dragonheart in 2016
I feel like I ordered a gorgeous pair of Vivienne Westwood Dragonhearts and got delivered some hush puppies. This isn’t what it’s supposed to look like. It’s not working again and I’m in a tiny h...
I had my ovaries drilled a week ago and was signed off work for 2 weeks. It’s now 1am and I’m lay in bed hyperventilating and crying about work stress. We have this huge report to go to our proj...
The doom is creeping in. It’s been a tough week. I’m emotional and hugely over sensitive. I’m trying to get back into roller derby but that in itself is tough, mentally and physically. It’s just ...
I love this city. I feel safe and happy and complete. It’s stupid, it’s just a place. But walking these streets, that’s where I feel most at home. More than any bed, any room, just wandering. Giv...
Anxiety girl! in 2016
Oh the doom, the doom is strong and bad. I don’t even know where to start and I’m aware that there is no solution to any of it, and the answer will be to take it as it comes but GOD DAMMIT I’M ...
Not an obituary in 2016
This month I am being paid back at my old grade (lower than my previous one) because my secondment has ended. It means that my job description is now basic research support with significant super...
