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I didn’t hear from him at all yesterday. I wrote him hoping that he was warm and had a place. I believe he’s probably high as a kite at his friend in Ithaca’s place. H will probably stay there ...

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So day 1 of him not being here. No nasty messages in fact he blocked me during the night. Although he did make it so I couldn’t see his facebook but just his profile pic and its of him and Alex...

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Nervously I went to the courthouse and waited and waited and waited till they called me back. He was there. He screamed at me this morning about going. I did anyway. He got himself a lawyer. ...

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I want to skip it in the worse way.... Not go to court. Not stand up to him. Sigh..... I’m tired of this. He’s been good. Acting good for the most part except for a few times this weekend. Few...

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Mental health wise I’m maxed out...... I can’t take much more. There is so much going on and 90% is bad. Work.....I’m so waiting for the fair treatment that they are stalling on. Home…Well its ...

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And we are back to square one again..... From the summer he’s still a pain in the ass with mental health thing. I was met with resistance and why am I not out of this relationship. I talked to s...

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I remember it like it was yesterday.... I was an airline worker. I worked for Midway Airlines. It had occurred to me when working ay the airlines of terrorists and such but that seemed so ‘80’s ...

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This has been one of those topics I’ve been worried about but at the same time I’m not. Babycakes had speech today with his therapist. We had a good talk as his report came back and he’s impro...

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My emotions are a mess. I want to hid…cry my eyes out.... It doesn’t help that I’m at the time of the month that makes this more intense but even still with everything going on I think I have th...

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As I looked out the window, my heart racing.... He pulls back up. I had talked him into coming back after he sneaked out knowing the police would be coming. Where were they?? He got out of hi...

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Last night I couldn’t sleep well. It was a day and so was today. Yesterday I did go to see my favorite doctor my GYN. I’m a sicko. Still like him. He makes me blush. Anyway the reason I deci...

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I am a person that keeps to myself. I don’t really vent to anyone. That is what diaries like this are for. I don’t have anyone to talk to to vent about life. I have been through my fair share ...

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Yesterday I woke up to the news Anthony Bourdain died of suicide just like everybody else and it was and still is all over my fb page. Suicide prevention blah blah blah. I feel horrible too th...

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One of my best friends in the world has another best friend… if that makes any sense. So we share best friends. We have gone on trips together but the 2 of them… are like soul sisters. Tuesday...

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He stays in the basement like a troll. He yells and screams all the time. He rather smoke weed than do anything. When he does surface he pushes my buttons… Why the hell am I with him. He’s a...

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I don’t like Mother’s Day… There really isn’t a reason for me to hate it.... I still have a mother, I am a mother.... all my wishes and dreams came true I guess.. But .....as everybody celebrate...

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Sunday is Mother’s Day .....and my birthday. I look at my busy toddler whom is into everything.... you little man, mean the world to me. To my 2 other kids.... you too as well. As always I g...

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Need to vent. Last Friday I took my son, he’s 21 months to the pediatricians office as he had a fever of 103 and was very lethargic. He had had a cold for over 2 weeks and his breathing seemed l...

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I had put a few items on FB market place to sell and got some one that want to buy a baby seat from me. We met exchanged money for the item and you would think no more. The person goes on to te...

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I am sometimes happy he’s in there and others disturbed. This not knowing whats going on is the worse. At the beginning he’s nasty, spiteful and a different person till the meds kick in. The ca...

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Last night I got very little sleep, I got in this conversation with my SO niece whom happens to have a child 2 weeks older than mine. So my child is actually first cousins with her. Of course w...

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I’ve watched my little babycakes.. He’s very social and does want to be a part of everything. He does have a few little things that make you go hmm but for the most part he’s just fine in the ca...

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Sometimes I get concerned about babycakes…he’s slower to hit the milestones but he hits them eventually. I’m not use to that and it scares me as Andrew is my Asperger’s kid was ahead of him at t...

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I was in a support group for moms that have clubbed footed kids. A mother asked if she should have an amniocentesis to see if there were other problems with her baby. I wrote…my child has clubb...

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A couple nights ago my mind drifted off to TV movies that were on when I was younger. I remember clearly there was 3 of them that were compelling and lasted with me. One was a push for what is n...

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