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Understimate me, I fucking dare you.

"I would like to say, that you really can do whatever it is you want to do. You just have to get out there and fucking do it."

Chelsea Handler

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January 23, 2018

Dear Me, in Chapter 8 : Time to Heal

You wrote this yesterday, in the morning, and then at lunchtime you had a full ball panic attack at college, in front of people. The shame you felt, are still feeling will break before you come b...


January 23, 2018

Strands in Chapter 8 : Time to Heal

So… All the pieces of me that are out of reach remain inside, they’re just encased in the entrails of what happened, and I don’t seem to be able to free them. if anything the constraints are gett...


So… I need to write this without being deep and dramatic. I need to get this down pragmatically. I’m not going to go into any graphic, gory details but I need to be blunt. When you’re raped, peop...


January 16, 2018

Dear Me, in Chapter 8 : Time to Heal

Tomorrow something is going to happen to you that will change your life, what I want you to know about it is that whilst everything is going to change, including your perspective, it doesn’t not ...


How do you recover from trauma? The pain is there and so very real but I’m unable to pinpoint the injury, to locate the wound from where I feel like I’m bleeding so profusely. There’s nothing tha...


So, Ma made a remark about Pidge and how she could drive you to drink and I stupidly told her that I’m back on the fags. You’d have thought I’d told her I’ve started chasing a fix with a shot of ...


So, OD emailed, and I retrieved my account IMMEDIATELY, I have nothing to lose as an OD+ Lifetime Member. It couldn’t have come at a better time to be honest. I’m in need of comfort, and OD feels...


Transition tranˈzɪʃ(ə)n,trɑːnˈzɪʃ(ə)n,tranˈsɪʃ(ə)n,tranˈsɪʃ(ə)n/ noun noun: transition; plural noun: transitions The process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another. Fiftee...


⚠️ Domestic Violence, Rape ⚠️ So… That wasn’t the last time it would happen. I probably would have stayed if it had only been the once. I would have somehow justified it to myself, but it wasn’t ...


⚠️ Rape/Sexual Assault ⚠️ So… I’m not going to regurgitate the relationship we had. You can find it, if you wish, within the chapter entitled “The Dick Mistake”. He shall henceforth be known as “...


heading text 2010 So… They’re right, the heat in Arizona is something else. Even in the AC controlled terminal building, I can feel the heat swirling about me. I’ve been travelling for 30 hours. ...


⚠️ TW : Sexual Abuse ⚠️ So… Let’s begin at how I wound up back at Ma’s as I am currently living a nightmare. I am living my nightmare; the life I swore blind I would never return to, a town I swo...


So…I’m back. I’ve missed you since you’ve been gone. A lot has happened. A lot has changed. I’ve spent 3 days working through my archive, editing, cleaning some entries up. I’ve republished the i...


So… Turns out I really don’t give even the tiniest of fucks about Christmas. I’d forgotten what Christmas with Depression is like. It’s like normal Christmas but with precisely none of the fun. ...


So… I worked the bar job for a couple of months, but I couldn’t make ends meet on half the hours and half the pay. My already fractured heart was starting to break. I had no other choice, livin...


I am currently living a nightmare. I am living my nightmare; the life I swore blind I would never return to, a town I swore I would never return to, yet here I am. 21st April 2010. Lunchtime-ish...


So… I promised new introductions. I am still me. I am still a more lesbian-y kind of a bisexual, but we’ll get in to that at a later date. I have two children; Bub (eldest) & Pidge (younge...


So… It’s been a while. A lot has happened. I feel like I need to heal. My mental health has been through the floor lately. A lot has happened these past ten years, and I really haven’t dealt w...


So… Where the fuck do I even begin??? Let’s start with Bub. My beautiful boy. You realise he’s nearly 3? 3!! I don’t feel ready to have a 3-year-old. I’m not ready to accept that he’s no longer a...


So… I’ll pick up from where I left of…kind of. So I ate 2/3s of the little Domino’s pot…and lived to regret it within about 2 hours. As an allergy mum, you will NEVER EVER EVER EVERRRR forget th...


So… Pidge has now been with us for a month. I’ve taken the tags off her and decided she can stay, even if she doesn’t sleep in her crib. She’s the spitting image of her big brother and me, which ...


So… I’m cold. Literally. I’m cold because I spend most of my day in a vest, feeding Pidge She’s gorgeous and totally worth the suffering, but none the less, I’m bloody cold. Yesterday Pidge turn...


So…I had a baby. Pidge was born 11th Feb at 2:22pm. She weighed in at a healthy 7lb 15oz. They sterilized me and also gave me a tummy tuck, you know, just because. I joke, of course, they did gi...


So…I feel like my vagina is being used for penalty training for the England Rugby Squad. I’m sorry, TMI? Totally not sorry. I have less than a week until this little person is cut out of me, and ...


So… Pidge is really desperate to get out now. She’s against my cervix more often than not, and that stings like a bitch. I really will be surprised if she stays put until her date…which is only n...


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