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So… Mundy and I are ~kind of~ back together. I told her I’m back in therapy. I didn’t tell her why. I will have to explain the leg in time no doubt. Off to a cracking start again then…thigh slas...

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So… Sometimes you need to take a long hard look at yourself, but it’s not always your true reflection that stares back at you. I so rarely see myself when I look in the mirror that I often wonde...

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[“The way that she’s whispering, the way that she’s pulling you in, lord knows I’ve tried, can’t get her off my mind.” - Little Big Town (GirlCrush)] () So… I’m sick. Properly ill. Respiratory In...

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“…in the day everything’s complex… - The Cranberries (When You’re Gone) So… I think it’s actually working. Either that or I’m so ill with this respiratory infection that I’ve become delirious. I’...

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[“I’ll die living just as free as my hair…” - Lady Gaga (Hair)] () So.... I started writing this before I went for my appointment, but things have changed so I scrubbed it and I’m starting again....

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[“Crystal heart in the graveyard, I think it’s time for a new start…” Kailee Morgue (Unfortunate Soul)] () So… I didn’t go for coffee with Straight Girl. Instead I had a chat with Pip about what’...

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So it would seem nightmares do come true after all. He’s been deployed recently. So I get to spend this year desperately hoping that he only lands here to put his head down and then fucks off ou...

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“....sitting on the ground, and we whisper…” - The Starting Line (The Best of Me) So… What the actual fuck am I doing?? Why the fuck am I thinking that getting involved with Straight Girl is an...

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So… I can’t sleep. I’m lay here wide awake with the urge racing through my veins. Maybe my trip to Rock Bottom wasn’t a day trip, maybe I need to kick about down here for a little while but witho...

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So… I had to last minute ditch my Valentine plans with Straight Girl, and I’d do it again. Pidge took not well with Croup…AGAIN and so we had to do an emergency dash to A&E as her sats were...

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⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ TW/CW : Self Harm ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ I’m sorry. I’m just not that strong. I’m spiralling out of control, crashing hard. You can only blow a bubble s...

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Do I believe in soulmates? I don’t know if I even believe in mates anymore truth be told. Seriously though, do I believe there’s someone for everyone? Probably not no. I think some people are jus...

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So last night I fetched Straight Girl from college and we went for coffee whilst Bub was at his dance lesson. She knew I only had an hour so we sat and chatted about nothing and everything. She s...

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Who the fuck am I? Where do I stand in the world now? How do I even begin to identify myself now? Identity’s almost as weird a topic as freedom (ICYMI). Who was I before it happened? Who am I now...

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So… It’s almost Valentine’s Day and everyone’s either loved up or broken hearted, everyone except me. I’m broken minded. We all know how to cure a broken heart; crying, chocolate, ice-cream, shit...

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… I feel like I’ve FINALLY had a breakthrough. I feel like the black cloud is finally starting to lift a bit, now that I’ve accepted that it’s ok to be angry about what happened, I feel somehow l...

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So… I’ve struggled with how I feel about myself and how others feel about me my entire life. I already had trouble with thinking of myself as being worthy of love because of how I was brought up,...

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So… Values, we all have them. Some have more than others, others profess to have more than some. Then there’s those who claim to have values they don’t actually possess. Me? I know the values I h...

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So… Sometimes it’s just bigger than you, stronger than you can be, today is one of those days. Rita’s right, not every day is a bad day. Wednesday – Friday I was in a fairly good place, but today...

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I don’t know what I would do if I saw him again. I know it’s a possibility, a remote one, but nothing’s impossible. All it would take is him being deployed, and he could wind up here, and with my...

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I remember it very clearly, like it was this morning and not six years ago. I still have nightmares, flashbacks strike throughout the day. The memories never go away and the feelings are still th...

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I used to believe that life was generally a bit shit, but ultimately that what went around came around but then it happened, then it happened again, and now I believe that life is very actually s...

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So… It never goes away. It’s always on my mind, it’s like a video that replays in my head constantly. A never-ending reminder, triggered by the least little thing, and just when I start to think ...

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It’s half past seven on a Saturday morning. For once I wasn’t woken by the flashbacks and trauma. No, turns out that a 12 shift in a cohort room on the Gastro Ward was enough to push me from “Fuc...

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So… Apparently we relaunch tomorrow. This entry serves to lay out the way MY diary works and to reintroduce myself. If you know me, come back in a couple of days and there’ll probably be somethin...

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