Entries 196

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That’s all I’ve ever really wanted, you know? That one person I could always count on to have my back when I really needed them. Someone to learn and grow with, and grow old with. I just don’t t...

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I haven’t really participated in this whole #metoo thing. I mean, I’ve… well, I read a lot… but I never told my story. I couldn’t. No way could I Tweet it or Facebook it or… I mean, I talked abou...

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I was going to call this entry “Fears” but that didn’t seem quite right. I don’t believe that it’s fear that I’m feeling, exactly. I think I’m just having reservations. Uncertainties. Yes, uncert...

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Been working really hard lately to purge a lot of noise from my life. People that aren’t good for me, my own rotten thoughts, clothes I don’t wear, and as much of #2’s shit as possible. I’ve nev...

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An entire life lived in chains and you’re breaking them all.

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your mind is a library of knowledge your body, a garden of wonder your heart is a vault of magic your soul, a sea of wisdom nothing i do not love about you not even Chicago because you are it and...

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We’ve both said, “You’re my missing piece.” You aren’t my missing piece. We are made up of all the most beautiful parts of ourselves, intertwined and intermingled. All of our pieces come togethe...

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I ain’t got none. I’m pretty sure I’m like… emotionally stunted. Or emotionally immature. In a weird way, I guess, considering how self-aware I am. My recent heightened level of self-awareness ha...

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I am doing so good! I went out tonight (Sunday) to one of the local watering holes, got white girl wasted, had a complete blast hanging out with a new friend I don’t see nearly enough and a frien...

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“Cognitive Dissonance, the mental conflict that occurs when beliefs or assumptions are contradicted by new information. The unease or tension that the conflict arouses in people is relieved by on...

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I knew it couldn’t hold, my good mood, the elation I was feeling at how well my life is going. All the too-good-to-be-true-ness is holding, at least. There is so much in my life, so many good thi...

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I know I’ve written about shame before, but it’s a really prominent thought in my mind right now. I don’t know how to love without shame. I think. I mean, I don’t know how not to doubt myself, t...

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There are so many things I want to say but I don’t say them because I’ve been trained to believe that it should be embarrassing to be so expressive. It’s melodramatic. Cheesy. Annoying. I know ...

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I have lived my entire life in mental and emotional chains. Some self-imposed and others not so much. As a child, I began to believe some pretty negative things about myself. I’ve spent my entire...

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If life has taught me anything, it’s that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Okay, it always is. But shouldn’t there come a time in a person’s life where maybe they find something ...

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I’m afraid of behaving like an annoying child, tugging a sleeve or a pant leg and chanting, “Mommy. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mommy? Mommmmmmy!” Is it because I was treated like an annoying child for years...

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I am feeling the first tingles of fear. I’m not even sure what I’m afraid of, but the tingle is most certainly present. Or maybe I’m just having a hint of anxiety because I fucked up my med refi...

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Writing is so good for me, so healthy, a much-needed release. I say things here that I don’t generally talk about in every day life, reveal so much more about myself than most people will ever kn...

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You know, they do, actually. And that’s the problem for me, every damn time. I’ve always picked guys who are the opposite of me. That’s why they all wanted to change me. They were attracted to th...

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I remember the first day of 7th grade. Wait, no. I remember one moment, specifically, the first day of 7th grade. I remember other parts of the day, but none so clear as the first time I saw his ...

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There are so many things about you, so many little things, that you are likely completely unaware of. Things you say and do that move me in ways, and for reasons, that you have no knowledge of. A...

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“No one knows my journey. No one single person has the whole picture. No one but me. Many, many people have little pieces, some more than others. But none of them have the whole. So none of them,...

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This is breathtaking and hearth-wrenching and devastating and reformative. This is everything. No one has ever loved me like you do. I love the way you love me. It’s breathtaking. No one has ev...

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I think I know what being in love feels like now. True, honest, pure love. Part of me wants to own you, I won’t deny it. Part of me wants you right now, right here, for always, every minute, for...

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There is no measurement for this, no frame of reference, no context. It’s all just inconceivable, unimaginable. I literally feel like I’ve stepped into an alternate reality, a different, much bet...

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