š JustWillow š¦ ⋅ 47 ⋅
Well-behaved women seldom make historyā¦
Entries 196
Page 3 of 8
Hang-up in Once more, with feeling...
Itās this thing I just canāt get past, I donāt know how, not even sure if I could or should. I sit here sometimes and all I want is to hear your voice. I sometimes wish you could see what itās l...
2 1/2 Years in Mental Health
In the two years and five months since the Wanker went to jail, I have accomplished more than in the thirty-nine years and seven months prior. So, I suppose I might have a little something to be ...
I would have believed you. If youād told me what he was like instead of being vague and refusing to talk about it, I would have believed you. By the time I contacted you, I was already unsure and...
"I'm so sorry I hurt you." in Mental Health
I think I was wrong. In therapy, back in 2012, she tried to get me to talk about my mother. My mother who died in 2011. And I said no, no point in talking about that, sheās dead, sheās gone, the...
ADHD, Combined Type in Mental Health
āThis, the most common type of ADHD, is characterized by impulsive and hyperactive behaviors as well as inattention and distractibility.ā To me, it kinda seems like double-whammy ADHD. I wish I o...
Motherhood in Mental Health
Iām not cut out for it. I never should have had children. I have never been emotionally equipped to deal with it. I guess I should be thankful that this is the last one I have to go through puber...
Is it possible... in Mental Health
ā¦to love you too much? Would it be possible to be overly expressive? Am I? Am I annoying about it? Am I too much? I have recently recognized this thing, this fear, and I donāt know if itās valid...
Youāre like make-believe. A daydream, a fairy tale, a fantasy. Sometimes I wonder if I made it all up in my mind. Like maybe one day I really did break completely and Iām actually heavily medicat...
A study in mushrooms... in Mental Health
Magic mushrooms, that is. Typing is funny. The letters on the screen, hilarious. I am still aware of typos, at least. Okay, so everything above this was written at approximately 9pm last night, S...
Would you tell me if... in Mental Health
I was too much? I had become annoying? I was no longer worth it? I talked too much? You didnāt want me around anymore? Or would you pity me? Be afraid of my fragility? Do I seem fragile? I feel f...
Love and ADHD. in Mental Health
Iāve always lived under the shadow of the idea that good things would never happen to me because I donāt exactly have a history of good things happening. There were moments in time that I experie...
Not fast enough. in Mental Health
Iāve been working on my mental health for 30 years, since I was maybe 12 and first heard of the concept of mental illness. I honestly canāt even remember what it was, that first reference that ma...
Emotional Regulation. in Mental Health
I aināt got none. Kinda lost my shit at work today when I didnāt really need to but had no control over it. Like none. Zero. In an instant, my heart was racing, I was trembling, all the air had b...
Out of my league. in Mental Health
Thatās how Iāve always felt about pretty much everyone, like Iām just this little nothing small-town girl and I donāt fit in, Iām not good enough, smart enough, educated enough. Itās a particular...
Conversation. in Mental Health
I would kill for one right now. Like one of those things where you make a pot of coffee and a friend comes over and you drink coffee and smoke a bunch of cigarettes and maybe some weed, too, and ...
Disillusioned. in Mental Health
Sad. Confused. Depressed. Hopeless. Thereās just too much bad news. I made a new Facebook account to escape some of it. That was literally easier than going through and un-following a ton of pag...
Speak only when spoken to. in Mental Health
Children are to be seen and not heard. Those two statements pretty much sum up everything I learned from my mother as a young child. Unfortunately, they have carried over well into adulthood. I s...
The world would be better off... in Mental Health
ā¦without me. Iāve had this thought pass through my mind more times than I could count. Iām sensitive (overly-sensitive, some would say) and sometimes when my feelings get hurt (and no shame in a...
I feel like I have some explaining to do... in Mental Health
because that is what trauma survivors do. Unhealed childhood trauma can manifest in a lot of ways, like being a people pleaser, always feeling on high alert, having fears of abandonment, tolerat...
Front-line workers. in Once more, with feeling...
If you are working right now, face-to-face with the public in any way, you are a front-line worker. If you are a server in a restaurant, you are just as at risk of being exposed to COVID-19 as ho...
Uncertainty. in Mental Health
I am beginning to recognize some things about the way my brain has been working lately, things Iām feeling not too sure about. Usually when Iām having negative thoughts, I can recognize whether o...
Biopsy in Once more, with feeling...
Had one of those today on some cysts on my right parotid gland. A fine needle aspiration, whatever that means. It wasnāt much fun but it wasnāt horrible, either. So, I should know by the end of t...
Revulsion. in Once more, with feeling...
Iām noticing lately that Iām actually experiencing disgust at ānormalā relationship stuff I see on Facebook. Memes and such, you know, things that say, with really poor spelling and grammar, some...
Obsessed. in Mental Health
I am obsessive. Well, obsessive-compulsive. One of the things Iām obsessed with is efficiency. I like picking tasks apart and figuring out the most efficient ways of completing them. No, wait, I...
Nothing gets to break me. in Once more, with feeling...
Having you in my life has brought me a sense of peace and security that Iāve never experienced before. I think I have never really believed that someone, anyone, loved me. I mean, romantically. I...