
anythingbutlove
a twentysomething in the process of figuring out post-grad life & making something of herself.
Entries 47
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groundhog day in no longer wide-eyed and full
Remember one year ago when I was panicked and lost because I was unemployed and it was so incredibly hot in Temecula and I felt like a failure? Good news! I’m back in the exact same situation! ...
the overwhelming light in no longer wide-eyed and full
I’m thinking a lot about the places we live in and the places that become the backdrop of all the trivial and life-changing moments. One of my favorite places in the world is closing its doors at...
now that i've worn out the world in no longer wide-eyed and full
I’ve come to an entirely revamped site and the revelation that NoJoMo is basically the new, what was it? NaNoWriMo? I think I tried to do that when I was fifteen. It’s midnight and raining and l...
lost stars in no longer wide-eyed and full
I don’t want anyone to know how lost I feel. I don’t want to let on how absolutely, terrifyingly aimless I am. It’s November and I’m going on interviews for goddamn sandwich places. I feel like ...
a brief update on the ways in which i stall in no longer wide-eyed and full
In all of my anticipations for post-grad life, I guess I didn’t really expect to see myself become a cliche. You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a underemployed, coll...
life's so cynical in no longer wide-eyed and full
i’m full of contradictions and hypocrisies i’m so tired, i don’t even know which side of fighting i’m on today was just like yesterday, and the day before taking myself so goddamn seriously and ...
more attempts at adulting in no longer wide-eyed and full
I am bored. I’ve hit the wall. I had an interview on Friday and it went well and then I had a nice afternoon with my brother and I pictured what my life would be like if I ended up getting the jo...
there's a million things i haven't done in no longer wide-eyed and full
Write a few sentences, then delete them. Listen to my mind whir and then watch my mouth as no words come out. Start, then stop. Want to do something, but then do nothing. Think about accomplishme...
no man is an island in furious, fragile, and free
Capstone presentation: Check Senior portfolio presentation: Check Graduation? Seventeen days I feel myself retreating into myself (like I’m prone to do) during this final chapter. I hear the cloc...
a little unsteady in furious, fragile, and free
Most days, the only time I get a moment of peace is walking home from the office to my apartment, blasting music (either Panic! At The Disco or Hamilton because what else) and taking deep breaths...
cut my mind on the scars that come with greatness in furious, fragile, and free
I really have to try to not be overwhelmed by how fast time goes and how desperately I wish I enjoyed things more when I had the chance. Sometimes I have jolts of, “wait, how did I get here?!” b...
new year, new everything in furious, fragile, and free
hello. it’s me. in the two months since we spoke, i survived my craziest and most stressful semester ever (wrote & researched an entire PR plan for my capstone, passed all my classes, didn’t...
sorry this is such an unedited ramble in furious, fragile, and free
i’m so, so overwhelmed. it’s november. i can’t focus on my future — which is what i need to be doing — because i can only see the swamp i’m standing in. between massive projects, trying to pass ...
the rent is due in furious, fragile, and free
“so make it a point to say you miss me tell all of your friends of the boy from where your accent comes oh, won’t you hold it against me for knowing the words what to say to make your heart beat ...
just last the year in furious, fragile, and free
11:40 p.m. My new roommates and I went out to dinner for the first time – and, like, it wasn’t that much fun. They aren’t the people I’d choose to hang out with on a regular basis and here I am l...
step out into the light in furious, fragile, and free
I always seem to have quite the disappearing act, don’t I? I was in the process of writing a ‘welcome back from your editor in chief’ letter for the next issue, when I got stuck – which caused me...
magical and miserable in furious, fragile, and free
March has been overwhelming and I always wonder if just SDSU is the only school that decided to plan everything in March. I kept thinking I just needed to survive the month because that’s always ...
this is where i'm at (ii) in furious, fragile, and free
i looked at your facebook again and i think you’re a liar i think everything between us wasn’t what i thought it was i am so much happier without you i am so much better off without you that’s ...
this is where i'm at in furious, fragile, and free
i don’t miss you anymore i don’t even know what you’re up to i blocked you from my facebook feed (even though i regularly stalk your profile) and i click through your pictures and i can’t help bu...
bleh in furious, fragile, and free
I’m going through things and I’m barely half-assing them. By things, I mean school. I just can’t bring myself to care about upcoming midterms and it makes me feel guilty. But like, I’ve reached a...
the sound of silence in furious, fragile, and free
Yesterday, I watched Disney movies all day while it poured in San Diego and today, my roommate and I ditched all our classes and responsibilities to get brunch and mimosas and it was a pretty fu...
things i'm about lately in furious, fragile, and free
-complaining to my best friend about how I’m single and how I don’t want to talk to anyone and her saying I need to put myself out there and me saying or nah -going grocery shopping and buying lo...
to live my life as its meant to be in furious, fragile, and free
I guess it’s always Mumford & Sons, huh? Valentine’s Day is about the world’s three most important things: chocolate, pink and sparkles. I’ve decided to get over all the pressures of this h...
we remember all through our lives in furious, fragile, and free
I had lunch with Patrick yesterday. and lunch turned into coffee and coffee turned into walking around Old Town. and through it all, we talked. We talked a lot. Going into it, I was feeling li...
are we out of the woods yet in furious, fragile, and free
Are we in the clear yet? Good. Ended up in a conversation on the phone with Patrick. He apologized and recognized that he had messed up and I guess things are better than they were? I don’t know...