Entries 237

Page 6 of 10

Something very precious washed over me the other day. A sentiment. A realization of a kind. A feeling. Years now of loss and dwelling on loss. A feeling of being locked out of a world I used to k...

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Only took me a year. The hardest part was getting all of the foundation rot cut out and replaced. On to the next.

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When I close my eyes I smell winter. This song reminds me of days passed: I used to go out at night when I was a kid exploring the new alien neighborhood the snow bestowed upon my old one. I rem...

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What a beautiful evening. I walked to the store after dark in the rain. It was warm so I wore shorts with a raincoat and umbrella. I don’t have much of a sense of smell any longer, but I could st...

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I feel like I’m on a tram that is flying along at about 3 miles per hour. Motionless and sedated. Gazing generally forward with milky eyes. I think it’s time I stopped smoking reefer every minute...

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I used to have a lot of pride in humanity and in being human, but it’s been a long while since I have felt it for some reason. Prior to Covid maybe, or 9/11. It’s a hard feeling to map, chronolog...

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Is this something everyone grapples with? One of my earliest memories is laying in the dark, on my top bunk, in my first bedroom. I had some stuffed animals to keep me company, and in the eons be...

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When I was a boy there were two moderately sized cities of approximate distance from the small town my family lived in. Each was about equal in size and economy. They both had a movie theater and...

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I don’t know what this is. Not music. But I can’t turn it off, and I feel like I am floating in the clouds of this photograph.

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Enjoyed a little walk through the neighborhood at the very tail end of dusk. There is something about the light at that moment, specifically the horizon- when there is the faintest sliver of oran...

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I’d have loved to live a thousand lives. When I was young I was anxious, and although I may be less so now, I still feel compelled to “go to work” on things, mentally, especially new environments...

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My brother graduated high school when I was 21, and the two of us packed up our cars and moved to North Carolina on a whim. I left a good woman behind, family. Mostly I was motivated by a certain...

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Depressed today. I tend to reach for this site when I’m depressed, in general. I never read my own entries, but I suspect I’d sound a bit like Eeyore from Winnie the Poo if I did. There are days ...

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Full disclaimer: I am thoroughly uneducated. In fact, antieducated might be a better term, if such a term exists. I attended college for a few years after high school sporadically, and only on s...

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I’m trying to type around a sleeping cat at the moment. Norah, our Tortie, has been having some extreme anxiety as of late. She’s just a bit of a high strung gal, country girl at heart- maybe not...

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The lady and I went for a stroll in the woods down by the river at dusk. Another hot late summer evening. Found this flower on the way, a ratty purple one that smelled like the inside of a tire a...

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Just had a queer old bit of memory fall into my lap. Some time before adolescence. Just before it. Autumn season, my dad in the kitchen. Or grabbing wood outside. A particular smell that I can’t ...

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What a glorious, hot evening. I grew up hating hot evenings, but have come to adore them. Time feels like it slows down to nothing. Warm eternity to float in. I’ve got some country music on the ...

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I’ll never get enough of strolling street lit residentials in the towns and cities in which I live. I’ve always done it. It’s as home to me of a thing as a hug from my mom. In the late summer- th...

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Remember this show? Paul McCartney said that song was the most beautiful song ever written, and it does something for me here. I vaguely remember the plot, having watched it probably over a deca...

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Went for a midnight bike ride through the neighborhood a moment ago. Tonight is one of those rare, once or twice a summer, hot and humid overnights. Like a piston chamber compressing gas before t...

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I don’t know if it’s the buildings, the angle, the speed of it, the light, the music…but it touches me on such a level. Like, something I know I’ve seen- or felt- sometime before I was born. Some...

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I’ve been reminiscing on my 17th year lately. I almost can’t believe it happened. Hard to imagine that world existing at all, though it seems a much saner world. I cannot express what a queer fee...

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My connection to things great and mystically lovely continues to deteriorate. I wonder if it is in direct proportion to the amount of responsibility and goals I have accrued in my life at this po...

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I’d say I’m mostly governed by nature, but I’m not sure one has to choose a path. I think everyone is some degree of both. I wish I had more grace, though I suppose I’ve wished that for a long t...

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