nothispenelope
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melatonin and buttermilk bread in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
i’m pretty sure buttermilk bread is white bread. and there’s melatonin in white bread. and melatonin as a lot of people know helps w/ sleep. well ok. so I didn’t have much trouble falling asleep ...
this eating stuff is hard work in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
so, I weighed myself yesterday. at bed bath & beyond. and. i’m not where I should be. [well no not after a 2 day relapse]. i’m not that far off though. thing is. they’re weighing me Mon. and ...
how i'm doing w/ my goals in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
which were: 1: to brush my teeth 2x correctly. goin for 3 wks. i’m on wk. 1 2: to not call/text evan. this is the 2nd wk. I’ve gone 1.5 wks. before and 3: to get more vit. d. i’m on wk. 2 goin...
I. as I’ve put it’s been 4 yrs. since my maternal grandmother passed. and. it really hit me this yr. I just. remember everything so vividly. the service and the time I found out and what song was...
4 yrs. hard day in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
today. was a hard day for me. it’s been 4 yrs. since my maternal grandmother passed. um. more later.
i was nice and that was. weird. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
this is of course from last night: ‘I mean i’m a nice person and all. but lately I haven’t been to steph. it’s weird. yeah I was in the kitchen earlier and I apparently felt like being all nice a...
i'm so angry. as i should be. *SA* in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
this is again from yesterday: ‘I don’t express my anger a lot. and it actually scares me. well anger in general scares me. when I have expressed it a way I’ve done it is I’ve cried. I um. i’m so ...
omygod i had a panic attack in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
this is from yesterday: ‘I had one. pretty recently. er prior totoday I mean. don’t remember when. I think. it needed to happen. I’ve been needing to have one for a long time. I got them a lot in...
i just feel like. bombardment. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
again. from earlier today: ‘I just feel like again a lot’s happened today a lot was talked about. I kindof feel bombarded. and then when clint & I met we talked about the meeting. and Stephan...
again. from earlier today: ‘I. well so. we had a meeting today. and I knew a few things that were going to be brought up. like the fact that I don’t eat a lot at the house. [i’m healthy though. I...
same feelings/every time it rains in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
this is. actually about evan. ok so back in april I made one of the hardest decisions i’d made in awhile. I didn’t want to. no. but I needed to. what he and I had. it just wasn’t working for me....
my goals for this wk. are...... in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
1: to brush my teeth 2x correctly. goin for 3 wks. i’m on wk. 1 2: to not call/text evan. this is the 2nd wk. I’ve gone 1.5 wks. before and 3: to get more vit. d. i’m on wk. 2 goin for 3.
my goals for this wk. are...... in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
1: to brush my teeth 2x correctly. goin for 3 wks. i’m on wk. 1 2: to not call/text evan. this is the 2nd wk. I’ve gone 1.5 wks. before and 3: to get more vit. d. i’m on wk. 2 goin for 3.
this is. actually from earlier today: ‘although again I do brush them more often than not, so. I’ve been doing this for the past.....like 4 wks. I think. yeah so this is about last night. um. so ...
so, dinner. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
this is from the 27th [fri.]: ‘yeah so at 9:50 tonight [it’s currently 10:50 here] steph asks me if I want beans or rice which to me says that she’s going to cook some. um no. any time after 8:30...
this is from um yesterday the 27th: ‘yeah so um yesterday. my mom brought up the fact that steph had told her that. er something like I hadn’t done my laundry wed. night [which ok I hadn’t]. and...
ya know. just cause we know better. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
this is again from june 21: ‘doesn’t mean we do better. I certainly don’t. I know. I shouldn’t be doing these things to steph. when she’s a perfectly nice person [yes which is the problem. but th...
i didn't forget. i just didn't do it. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
this is also from june 21st: ‘ok so this is why im not honest w/ people. yeah so I recently got this blue coat. so now I have 2 what I call raincoats for the summer. [yeah. i’m always in layers. ...
this is from june 21st: ‘Steph and I. we’re 2 different people. she as I’ve mentioned isn’t low key. and I am. and I prefer people who are. some people don’t and that’s fine. i’m not someone who ...
so it's gone from a 10 to a 9 in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
this is from june 19th: ‘so on wed. like I said. I took a shower. and changed into the clothes i’d brought w/ me. and that was v. upsetting for me. I didn’t like that. well I just took a shower. ...
no. we're still going to do it my way. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
this is from june 19th: ‘So, I have bag checks at my house. for me. I’ve had them for awhile. and ya know that’s fine. I also know that they’re done by whoever’s at the house when I get back. so...
this is from june 18th: ‘er. like ok. so in like oct. I think it was my former mentor Jessica’s house burned. and I didn’t think about it a whole lot. bc. fire. has always scared me. and if somet...
i know but......... in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
this is from june 18th: ‘I. like I’ve put i’m having issues w/ steph. and it’s not like. she hasn’t treated me right or anything. no cause she has that’s not the issue. the issue is she’s too nic...
from june 18th: ‘so last night right before I was going to take my shower the lady I lvied w/ [Steph] told me she needs to see the clothes i’m going to change into. [there’s a lot more to my curr...
oh wow. depression and blogging. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
this is again from june 22nd: ‘yeah so steph wants me to open up to her. I’ve already gone over why I don’t. so. um so.......... I don’t know if she wants me to blog. she knows I have a blog but...
