nothispenelope

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Page 6 of 127

ya know...........just bc i love. [and i do.]. my sister. doesn’t mean i have to let her in. ever [although ‘ever’ is a long time. it is. a long time.]. like sure. we can all play physical games ...


well fuk. i can’t sleep. [well have you made an effort to? yes. not much but yes.]. although. it’s not that unusual for me to be up for 10, 12+ hrs. so. and it’s now been. 11 hrs. i woke up at um...


on sun. the 3rd i. did my laundry as usual. mon. - wed. i. didn’t do anything. thurs. i um. went to my mom’s via her. we had lunch at her place then um. i went out. my sister came by that day. oh...


so. [and this has nothing to do w/ the dream btw.]. anyway. i used to have this beautiful faded sapphire ring. that my dad gave to me. he’d found it under his mom’s my grandmother’s place. er hou...


so. is this, the right decision for me? to not trust my sister? no for me personally not anyone else. i think...........no not ‘i think’. no yeah. yeah it is. [and it’d be fine if it wasn’t but y...


so. um............the day my now-ex threatened me. ok this was like. 6 yrs. ago or so. we did not. have an argument about sex. contrary to what at least my sister thinks. they think. that we had ...


is keep being who i am. yeah actually the last time i saw marty he told me “keep being you.”. er i can’t really change that but thanks? no i’m not over. what my sister did. i’m just fukin tired. ...


Trust has to be earned. not given. and i think almost anybody would agree w/ me on that. like my sister doesn’t get to waltz into my life again and and...........and fukin apologise and like oh o...


so. i’ve been reading up on revenge recently. i think i read an article on menshealth. com [yes sometimes i’ve read a few articles on their site. even though i’m a woman] i think that was the sou...


well. i mean not me personally. no uh on sat. my sister said that. and she wants to get to know me...........right yeah ok. so. at one point during the 2 hr. or so conversation on sat. amongst he...


so earlier today. i don’t quite remember how, or want to. but the subject was brought up. by my sister. the subject of evan having, as she put it, ‘lived’, w/ me. er ‘moving in’/having ‘moved in’...


sorry rather. on the 4th of may 2013. yes there we go. well right. the day after the OD. evan made me bacon & eggs. i was up between 7 a.m. and 9 a.m. that day. i got ready and well i. went t...


he told me that once. evan when we were talking about the night i OD’ed. [or as he calls it ‘the milk night’.]. yeah cause i told him something. about me owing him. apparently it was one of the b...


actually. it was a composition book of a few letters i’d written evan back in spring of 2017. the last one i wrote was in may. may 7th actually. it was his suggestion to do so. he’s never read th...


so. i had an entire entry typed up about. my wk. the past wk. but then. when i went to save it...........pb went to the log in pg. so. and i don’t like repeating myself. um. i’ve calmed down a bi...


so evidently. what happened back in may 2013 was drug poisoning. which makes sense why i was crying. i’m not someone who cries a lot, if i’m in pain so...........also i think i was just. really c...


not quite. tom. it’ll be since here it’s the 2nd. um. it’s been almost 7 yrs. since i overdosed. od’d on wine and pills. benadryl. and lately..........i’ve been thinking about evan a lot mainly c...


so on the 12th. i did my laundry. mon. - wed. i. didn’t do anything. thurs. i went to my mom’s. via my mom oh yeah i went to starbucks that day. fri. i was at my mom’s. we had panera. no not went...


i somewhat forgot where i left off. right. so. i asked my mom. and. she also thinks my paternal grandmother was an alcoholic. i might’ve mentioned this prior sometime during my time on here. like...


which is a weird expression. but i actually kindof like it and am getting used to it. um. this. has to do w/ the stupid virus thingy. so a little over 2 wks. ago i’d heard. from my mom that when ...


no not me. well. now that easter’s over. ya know..........i’m not a big easter person. i’m not religious and don’t have kids so. nor do i want them or am around them a whole lot. i still think. a...


first. some backround info: my late paternal grandmother d. 4, 5 yrs. ago come oct. for those who don’t know. [and if you didn’t then. wow. not like i’m one to talk about not paying attention cau...


so. i didn’t blog about my wk. last wk. bc well it was a holiday. it was april fool’s day actually. i’m not a prankster. um anyway. so sun. the 29th i. did my laundry. mon. - wed. i. didn’t do an...


so. this might be hard. for some reading this to. digest hell it’s hard for me even though. i don’t know any of the details. well i am of. british descent mom’s side. and way back when in the 160...


so. as i’ve probably mentioned. i’m not of portugese or greek descent. sorry. to have mislead people. no that was ancestry. com’s fault. i thought i was and then. on the website that changed acc...


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