nothispenelope
Entries 3,167
Page 38 of 127
so. Ru knows. in 2017. got it.
Ru knows. most of the stuff I’ve recently told Jacob. except for the Benadryl thing. next. jd.
attempted SU. *no details* in 2017. got it.
this is from Wed.: I um. I don’t like admitting this but. I attempted SU this morning. I won’t give details. um ..........
they’re a, music group. Oh. I get it now. Due to the TBI I’ve at times come off as cold. But that’s not my fault. it’s just. sad that not everyone will understand it.
partially remembered rape. *Orange in 2017. got it.
so yes. the fact that I don’t accurately remember what happened in the van that night. is ‘normal’. 2 reasons: -i was really drunk -repressed memories ok. but something did happen. otherwise i w...
today. i feel 'normal'. and yesterday well. *TBI in 2017. got it.
this is from Wed.: so right. today i feel ‘normal’. like oh the TBI didn’t happen. like oh. and yesterday well. well yesterday I passed out and evidently fell. which set off the whole cop detainm...
so i've been reading up on SU thoughts and. *mentions SU no details though in 2017. got it.
as I’ve had SU thoughts recently. but this isn’t about the details it’s more about the why. so. One reason people. have more SU thoughts then usual is that. they feel trapped. yep there we go. i’...
just told ru. *SA in 2017. got it.
this actually is from yesterday: I just told Ru via fb that since I saw him last I was raped. 2 times 24 and 25. [btw. he’s a guy I went on a date w/ a little over 6 yrs. ago. from georgia - stat...
while they didn't give me. the reason. i knew. *Un. Det. in 2017. got it.
I’ve stated previously that: ‘ and he didn’t say to me. ‘you’re not free to leave due to this’. he didn’t give me the reason. ok so for the future if that ever happens again. i’ll hopefully reme...
i don't remember the last time i was this afraid of being raped. *Un. Det. in 2017. got it.
Firstoff. I haven’t been raped in a little over 5 yrs. well. I do remember, the last time I was this afraid but not vividly. god......i..... I don’t like feeling trapped I’m actually afraid of ...
even if I did. tell someone. *Un. Det. in 2017. got it.
ok so even if I did. tell someone who could actually do something about it. and they did something about it. well.........it’d be his word against mine. because. I didn’t ask ‘am I free to go?’. ...
unlawful det. in 2017. got it.
see. looking back what tipped me off. during that whole thing last night. is that they the both of them. were physically in my way blocking me. so the only ways i could’ve gone were to the right ...
uni. declare/amnesty internat'l in 2017. got it.
while i’m going on about this. so the universal declaration of human rights was statrted in 1948. and um. amnesty international actually protects, those who’ve been wronged. so. a detainment/dete...
i'm not happy. in 2017. got it.
i realised this last night. or this morning whenever it was. i’m not a happy person to begin w/ so. but. thing is. not that many people seem to care which is sad. only about my ‘well being’ and ...
know your rights. might need them. *Cop./Un. D. in 2017. got it.
So the other thing I’ve been doing. is reading up, on my rights so I actually know what I’m talking about when I blog about this. The UN universal declaration of human rights. states that: ‘No on...
reason i didn't leave. *Cop./Detain. thing. in 2017. got it.
Honestly. The reason the main, reason I didn’t leave the cop situation last night. was bc. I was afraid of being raped or having them force me into the guy’s car and.......ya know? Also. the othe...
detainment, un. my reasons. in 2017. got it.
the reasons. i think i might’ve been unlawfully detained last night are: -in order. to detain someone a suspect. a cop legally needs. to actually have obtained [as in gotten] a warrant. i never s...
detainment. i think. *cop thing in 2017. got it.
I’m not lookin for any trouble here, a. and 2. i’m not one to accuse people. but i think. i might’ve been unlawfully detained last night.
detainment. legal or.......? *mentions cops in 2017. got it.
So, apparently. what happened last night when i was briefly stopped by the cops. was detainment. that’s what detainment is which. i didn’t understand untill just now. right ok. but. was it legal,...
notes from SU hotline chat *not about SU *TBI in 2017. got it.
this again is from earlier: So I. had an online chat w/ someone from the SU hotline. and here are my notes on it: yes. exactly. she said i’m: ‘grieving for the person you were before’ she asked. ...
about the tree thing. [cop thing. tues. night.]. fine. they win. in 2017. got it.
so some of this is repetitive. and also. this is what i’m going to tell my psych. so. psych. notes basically: ‘This happened. Well last wk. Actually on tues. [btw my mom apparently knows about th...
holy fuk. it's been a long day. in 2017. got it.
so. well firstoff when I was by the trees that are. in the residential area I apparently fell. and during that fall i evidently passed out. [for a minute.]. but somehow landed in a sitting positi...
ptsd and wendy's. in 2017. got it.
so um yesterday. when i was wanting to sleep. i’d go to sleep only to have. body memories and flashbacks come over me. this happened 4 times. i eventually apparently at some point went, to sleep ...
it's not been a great night. in 2017. got it.
this is from earlier: well actually it’s 2:10 in the morning now but yeah. a little over like. an hr. ago i got upset. i was just. i felt so bad. and tired so tired. ptsd tired. tbi tired. i. wel...
kiss. um. *TW in 2017. got it.
so...........in the cab van. thing. My dream memory thing’s telling me he kissed me. or? yeah but. i don’t recall how intimate that was. cause we sure as hell weren’t involved. he was some guy i ...
today. um. in 2017. got it.
btw i’m in quite a bit of pain right now. [again.]. today was. um actually fairly easy untill about 5:40 or so. yeah um prior to that. i did my laundry. [well ok i washed my bed sheet. well that’...
