nothispenelope
Entries 3,167
Page 33 of 127
10 wks. in 2017. got it.
it’s been 10 wks. since i sustained my concussion. 2 months/2 wks. 2.5 months.
well. it happened again. *Sub. in 2018
this actually is from earlier yesterday: i did the substance thing again. it’s now 2:10 a.m. it happened at 1:30. i told myself i’d wait at least 24 hrs. i’m um. well obviously not great if i’m d...
Withdrawl. Day 3. in 2017. got it.
this again is from yesterday. morning. well right now i’m cold. 6:30 a.m. atm. and a bit twitchy. i still feel sick. [yes again. bc i am.]. um. so last night i was more twitchy. i hate that the t...
i found it. in 2018
this is from um yesterday: < see previous entry. so i found it. they’re entries from back in oct. 2012 in my other blog. apparently. what happened was. apparently [again.]. my ex [well he wasn...
wait. what? and i, was in the wrong? *Ab. *My ex in 2018
actually this isn’t entirely accurate. but here we go: So a few yrs. ago back when i was going to the bar and karaoke and karaoke at the bar. and drinking. Well it was some time after my ex had v...
i had a dream about it. liquor. in 2018
this is from um yesterday: So in my dream I was at the circus. [the, circus? fine a, circus] the old fashioned kind but I was in the tent w/ the performers. only. they/we weren’t performing. and ...
i never went to AA. in 2017. got it.
from earlier: right so as put. i never went to AA. meetings. or rehab. in fact most people don’t know or think i’m an alcoholic. well i am. a nonpracticing one but i go through withdrawls so. i h...
so I told Matt. in 2018
this again is from earlier. Matt is this guy i know from my days in boarding school. he’s from TN. i told him about the sub. thing. and he’s ‘relapses again.........long as you’re trying not to’....
the last time i had a night like this. in 2018
this is from earlier: so as put. the last time i had a night like this was back in feb. feb. 6th. so. no that’s it.
not havin a great night. in 2018
this is from earlier: 2:20 a.m. atm. at 1:20 i had the substance thing happen. as i was reaching for it in my closet i was crying and i thought ‘you don’t have to do this’ and ‘no but my ex didn’...
about 5 mins. ago........ in 2017. got it.
about 5 mins. ago. I had some of something that wasn’t um alcohol. i’m not proud of it but i feel better. well i feel calmer cause giving in just feels so.......damn.......good. omygod. i couldn...
Withdrawl. Day 3. in 2017. got it.
alrite here we go. well actually it started an hr. ago. actually almost 3 hrs. ago as it’s 1:50 a.m. atm.
hey I'm back. Withdrawl. in 2017. got it.
hey i’m back? [you, went somewhere?] actually yes yes I did. i was at my mom’s Wed. - yesterday but i don’t usually um blog. on..........Thurs. nights or Fri. mornings so. and it’s now 10:50 Fri....
Movement problems. TBI. in 2017. got it.
from. yesterday: So. As of late.ly the biggest um.... symptom I’m having problems w/ in regards to the TBI. is the movement of others. it throws me off my equlibrium. I can’t deal w/ movement tha...
i can't feel my hand. /nerve pain. TBI. Med. in 2017. got it.
from yesterday: my left hand is a lot less strong then it used to be. due to the TBI. which is sad i feel like i’m 80. and i’m. quite a bit younger then that. i can still do things w/ it. other t...
um pain. and weird stuff. long weird day. TBI. in 2017. got it.
this is actually from. yesterday: btw i’m tired and i make even less sense then usual when i’m um. tired. so earlier.......i’m not sure if i was actually sleep or if like. i passed out for some a...
so. I have a cavity. *TW* in 2017. got it.
actually I have 2. which means I went to the dentist today. yeah I’m not proud of it either. [the cavity part not. the other part.]. Um. the good news. if someone wants to see it. is. 1: it’s not...
from the 11th - the 17th in 2018
well the 11th which was sun. i um. i was at my mom’s oh right cause the lady was out of town. ok. on the 12th which was mon. i was at my mom’s. valerie came at 5 we went to wendy’s then the store...
you know you're growing up when..... in 2017. got it.
right. so as put. you know you’re growing up when......you decide to go see a movie w/ your dad & your sister.
got my period. in 2018
yeah so i got my period um. yesterday and so far it’s been. ok which. is nice. i um. i thought i’d be getting it the 16th and so i was prepared. but no.
what a weird day. in 2018
actually it was kindof boring. i um well i did my laundry once piece er one. grocery bag. gettin closer to doin my bed linens but not there yet. um so. at 3:20 i started to get all ready. only to...
I am the woman/I'm in 2017. got it.
I am the woman. I am the woman. who was raped. I am the woman. who was sexually harassed. I am the woman. who was sexually assaulted. I am the woman.
oh what *I* did? well what about what he did? my ex. in 2018
yeah so after I told him that. told my ex ‘if you ever do something like that again’ he went something like ‘well i’m sorry’ and either ‘that’s what I do’ or ‘but if you hadn’t.........’. No he k...
the scissors thing. [and no this doesn't have to do w/ SI.]. in 2018
um. so my ex as i’ve mentioned was abusive. and. yeah it’s not something i talk about a whole lot. i hate being ‘that woman’ even though. unfortunately many are. i um. I won’t detail. I remember....
i'm tired of people asking me how i'm doing. in 2017. got it.
well and by ‘people’ i mean the lady. this is what she usually asks me [also sometimes she’ll ask me how i’m doing ‘today’ which is weird. to me when someone asks ‘how are you doing’ that’s in ge...
