nothispenelope
Entries 3,167
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nov. 17, 2012. ED. in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
'>Slight TMI Slightly Gross Yeah so within the last wk I got my perod. It always does a number on me but this tme moreso than usual. idinno. It was awful. James actually got some more pot fr...
nov. 17, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
'>although it's currently 2:20 p.m. here. So I woke up at. well i'm really not sure. 5:44? maybe. i remember it was still dark out. I must've slept at least 12 hrs. my god. Apparently my fri...
nov. 17, 2012. ED. in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
'yes this again. I've relapsed. For the 1st day or 2 of my period I'm really not hungry. But I was relapsing even before that. I didn't eat for 2 days. And he's trrying to figure out why. or, h...
nov. 17, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
'that's what he asked me the other day. Yeah. Of course. Of course I do. Otherwise I would've already left. Sure maybe not as much but I still do. There have been times. when. I haven't loved h...
nov. 17, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
'about me/it says.that./only time will tell/don't feel like i'm settling/family knows. Right so as put. And yet I'm still w/ him despite the fact that he's scared me twice. It's been few and ...
dec. 11, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
'I've been in a constant liquid smoky haze lately. W/ all the smoking and drinking I do. I drank an entire bottle of vanilla vodka over the weekend. And no I'm not proud of it. And then early yes...
dec. 11, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
'should've/sobriety scares me/i need to look back to get through. Part 2 of the previous entry. Like I said I've been in a constant haze lately. Last week I had 4 white Russians and a shot. The...
dec. 15, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
'confused. and I don't understand what went on. No Advice About last night. which didn't happen. Well ok it did we just didn't have our usual Friday. Bc he wasn't here. Yeah.......um. And I'm p...
dec. 16, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
'At some point during the night [Wed.] I'd gone out and smoked w/ a friend of mine. So I was feeling pretty good by the time I came back in the bar. he went back to his place. Actually we smoked ...
dec. 19, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
'So last night I got triggered. I could not wait to get out of the bar. We could not get out of there fast enough. Um. As mentioned, I went to the bar for their Xmas party. It was a good night, c...
dec. 21, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
'Um so I still haven't heard from him. I emailed him earlier telling him that if he doesn't get back to me by the 23rd I'll email my mom and tell her we're not going to my relatives' holiday dinn...
dec. 21, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
'exactly the kindof thing you want to wake up from. thank you PTSD. ef. Yes I literally just woke up 10 mins ago [2:30 p.m. atm] from another dream about rpe. I don't want to go into details ri...
dec. 22, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
'So I just phoned James. yeah apparently he has a new job. When I told him he hadn't contacted me in 2 wks I sounded upset. which I was. And he's like 'wow I'm so sorry'. yeah me too. I told him ...
dec. 22, 2012. in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
'So I went out and got blackout drunk last night.er.I think. At the very least I know I was really drunk. I have never ever been that drunk at that bar. I went into the bathroom bc,, well as said...
dec. 22, 2012. ED. in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
'So um I've slipped back into a relapse. Again. Bc of this whole. not seeing him thing. Bc I haven't felt loved. Which, you know is really stupid. It's not that it's not understandable as it is. ...
dec. 26, 2012. in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
'Again, Please No Advice. Um. Over the weekend, I was apparently r*ped. again. No Advice No Questions. Or Suggestions.or......
march 3, 2013. in The Wonderland Years: 2013
'grandfather meant. I've known this for years just never mentioned it. Apparently before my mom's dad married my grandmother in June 1961. he was married to another woman, Shirley for about 4 ...
may 6, 2013. ED. in The Wonderland Years: 2013
'Well that is, I was about 90% dying. yeah........I'm slowly trying to process this. I'll write more when I'm ready.
may 10, 2013. ED. in The Wonderland Years: 2013
'the most spiritual experiences of my life. So over the past 2 days while preparing for my eventual inevitable demise I've started writing. ok so typing. I've started letter to my mom, dad and ...
may 10, 2013. ED. in The Wonderland Years: 2013
'Um so I've been taking vitamins daily. that Evan left here. Which he's ok w/ me taking. Calcium, 2 B ones and Airborne which has like. Vitamin C and echinacea and all kinds of good stuff in it. ...
june 8, 2013. ED. in The Wonderland Years: 2013
'Yeah so on May 3, a Friday I almost died. rather, I was dyinng. Evan was there. We got into an argument about sex or lack thereof which sent me spinning and triggered me and I 'went places' so I...
nov. 5, 2013. ED. in The Wonderland Years: 2013
'So, as put. I've been living w/ this really nice Ethopian lady Monte [yes said Monty' as in 'Monty Hall']. She's v. sweet. except. Almost every night she either asks me if I've eaten enough or I...
nov. 18, 2013 in The Wonderland Years: 2013
'this. actually doesn't have to do w/ manipulation. i'm like ariel [I've been watching a lot of 'once upon a time' lately. love that show. it's so pretty. it's a really good show too....and rel...
nov. 23, 2013 in My ex.
'actually I have a relationship status. it's single. so I'm single. as put. This isn't new I've been officially single since Feb. the past.........10 months wow almost a year. um. The last time...
dec. 4, 2013 in My ex.
'and yet more news. well I. generally have news when posting here. Yeah so apparently. Jacob - he's my ex that I had a long distance on again off again thing w/ like. 3 yrs. ago. - is now datin...
