Entries 3,167

Page 114 of 127

'I'm not feeling that great. crashed at 2 a.m. woke up at 12. I remember my dream.......James was in it. and my dad. Idk for some reason today felt rushed. Which is not a good thing when you're h...

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'um. i don't really know how to feel about this. so I'll state what happened and then come back to it. so. E. The other day we were in bed and I stated I wanted to cut. He goes "don't that's a te...

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'Um. Yeah..............yeah. So the last time he was here - Sun. night - Tues. night. ..................  we were talking about.something. My past, probably. And he tells me that and it's like wo...

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'Something else he recently told me. Well yeah. as in, yeah I'm an addict. been one for yrs. And no..............i.................it's really not easy. And it hasn't been. that's almost barely t...

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'So, the other day when he was here I was in the tub. cause I was so frekin hot. And......he brought me strawberries and milk. And it was just, very sweet. I'd asked him too. That's never happene...

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'And thank you.   So. apparently. On Wed., my grandfather wants us - my mom, her sister, Kate & I - to go over to his place to look at some pictures, a few paintings of my grandmother's. to s...

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'Once againI'm sleep deprived. I don't sleep well even without the dreams. god. I only vaguely remember last night. not that much happened. I've been busy the past couple of days. I had a PTSD re...

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'>...horrible. Not. um. pertaining to the fight. So there's been a lot on my mind lately and I need to get it the fuk out and to get me the fuk out which i did was this past weekend. ............

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'Yeah I know. I've known that for yrs. what the hell do you think I'm talking to you for? It's like he's saying 'you need help but I won't be the one to give it to you'. Like 'oh I don't care eno...

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'>.......you' back anymore?" Yes. I know. So once again we're having issues. Bc of stuff he's said. Bc I won't talk. Bc he makes me feel insecure.lately. now this is a new development. Lindsey...

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'anymore. I know, what a weird title for an entry. But I couldn't think of a "good" one. Usually I'm more inventive than that. oh Adult Content Ahead. You've been warned. Um. So I was browsing ar...

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'>..........activating. It's not even about whose fault this is. Or why we haven't been talking. No part of the summary of all this is that basic fact. It feels like we're not talking. [ok so ...

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'me like a river does. So. Ya know. it shouldn't be like this. I should feel loved by him. as comfortable w/ around him as I once was. this isn't good [well no clearly not]. I know he loves me. h...

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'god so here we go. I've been in recovery the past 4 summers. I don't remember the last time I ate breakfast. Like, real breakfast food. In Denmark last year on my 24th. They had this fabulous br...

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'sry that last word was supposed to be 'control*.   destruction. anger. Um. He's right. again, he's right. I do think I have to be perfect. And I have this constant, almost paranoia that at any p...

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'So it's been a long day. Currently: 10:30 p.m. Last night I went out on their balcony & briefly talked to Max. He's from Texas which I knew but spent most of his time here [CO]. His parents ...

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'>[oh yeah. also. I'm on my period, so]. So, he moved in last week. And that's great and everything....I........but........just. It's that, instead of phoning me he games. W/ Max. or he's at w...

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'>....stop you unless you want me to" - James. So. Last Wed. I drank. And then the Wed. before that. I didn't drink the 4th. Or at the last Synthetics show which I think. was the 15th. it was ...

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'So.................it happened last Wed. and the Wed. before that. The.......circus........thing. The.um. schizophrenia. I haven't had a really bad one in weeks. Oh it happened over the weekend ...

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'I actually started writing this entry this morning but I was stoned so I didn't really finish. or start, actually. got a few words in and was like 'uh.....what.........?'. couldn't finish was st...

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'So. Apparently according to Max the other James [Katrina's guy] latches onto the first girl who takes an interest in him. Yeah I used to be like that.......uh. still am, actually just less so. A...

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'Mermaids, gorgeous glass women.   SA TW   Please Be Kind. & Supportive. No Advice.   Um. So. My PTSD's gotten worse which, isn't all that surprising. As has my schizophrenia. The other day i...

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'ok so to continue w/ my entry from.um. oh, yesterday.   paranoia, room bed moving. recovery.   Please Be Kind & Supportive. No Advice.   Yeah so like I've maybe mentioned, my PTSD's gotten w...

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'strong>Please Be Kind. & Supportive. No Advice.   So talking about alcoholism. which actually I wasn't but am now.   So, apparently. The reason James cuts me off from drinking isn't the r...

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'Btb I'm slightly intoxicated, so.   As put. SA Potential TW   Please Be Kind. & Supportive. No Advice.   Um.   Lately I've been remembering what happened before & after the 2nd r*pe. I w...

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