Entries 3,167

Page 113 of 127

'and PTSD. and. 'there must be more than this provincial life'. Oh here we go. So................while over at the parents' my mom talks to me about SSI. which leads to a discussion about sex. I ...

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'omygod. Currently: 1 p.m. so. The other day [Wed.] when I was at my parents' discussing SSI/BC w/ my mom [or. rather. she was discussing it w/ me] she brought up. you know, that. what happened. ...

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'and shouldn't bother me this much but it does. Like I said. TW. oh god. So, also as put. Something happened over the weekend. it was scary. and big.   Still scared/shaken. Copied from an email: ...

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'>......don't like that/making too much of this/not just him everything's connected/i can still feel it. Ok, so. As put. I feel like I can't fully trust him bc he scared me. Quite frankly I ha...

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'>.........of compassion. well. his lack of compassion. Copied from an email: 'As put. I feel like we're drifting apart due to lack of compassion. well, rather, his lack of compassion. I love...

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'On the whole...........schizo...........circus thing. Yes this again. i'm possibly making too much of it. [right and really?]. So........sososos. This ocurred to me a few hrs ago. as it's curren...

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'So...............sososo.   Um. The other day James unintentionally triggered.me. and no that's not related to PTSD. he said something about .......er. rather. He said something that reminded me ...

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'>......if I didn't have a love life. I still wouldn't've. gone. as it's too soon. [yes i'm aware that's repetitive].   So earlier today - at noon. currently 6:10 p.m. - um. my parents, grandf...

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'No Advice No Opinion.   This is about Lindsey. I guess I still have feelings for her. and thought I was over her back in Jan. We were friends for 7 damn yrs. that doesn't exactly. you know, go a...

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'I just want to be more content and I keep thinking of reasons not to be. she let me lie to her. about the food thing. I just feel like if she knew that and she knew how sory I was . but i don't ...

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'So yesterday my sister & I were talking about my mom. er. our, mom rather. And apparently, according to Kate, Mom won't let herself be vulnerable. She's nice but she's not........er.well. sh...

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'On........yesterday. In the dream I was at the bar wearing what I'd worn to the bar the previous [Wed.] night. The bar was seemingly empty. and dark. Someone led me to the smoking balcony. The g...

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'It's currently 2:20 a.m. and I'm a bit tipsy, so. just had the last of SoCO in the bottle 'bout a shot and a bit of vermouth & coke, so. it's mostly cherry coke. oh god i love SoCo. sO. my m...

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'I don't feel good. which isn't surprising since, as stated.   it's 2:10 p.m. was gonna go to the movies but then didn't. well i know i was unconscious all day. not sure if i actually slept.   I ...

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'ug. I feel awful. I feel physically awful. Currently: 9 p.m.   I'm so. insecure. which is really sad, actually. but more on that later [it has to do w/ this past weekend]. This has happened befo...

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'So.........sososo.   A friend of ours [oh. James, Max, Jasmine & myself], has been dating this guy for half a yr. Nicole. I barely know her but she's really nice and very cool. she's 20. So,...

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'Currently: 5 a.m Currently Spinning: Heroin Diaries   So over the past few days I was hungover. I drank.........   last Wed., then Fri. then Mon. the day before yesterday. I got wasted Wed. not ...

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'Currently: 4:50 a.m Currently Spinning: Heroin Diaries i'm hot, tired as hell and a bit hungover. again. I had 4 malibus at the bar last night. yeah......i know. i know. And then cut myself off....

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'So the last Synthetic [Elements] show I went to was.........a week prior to yesterday. It was good. I love them. they're great. As in both that they're a great band and they're great people. By ...

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'You've been warned. As put. Adult Content & Brief Sexual Content [oh good one of these entries. I love these entries]. So the other day when he was.....um............dealing w/ his sex drive...

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'Actually this was to be typed up yesterday which. obviously didn't happen. omygod. It's been so bloody hot here lately. It's been in the 90s. by 10 a.m. every morning. [er obviously morning]. Ye...

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'Um so yeah.   The heat apparently kills my sex drive. And, so. I don't like that bc it means he and I can't do as much. It kills his too......which is good to know cause that way I don't wonder ...

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'>Adult Content [you've been warned]. So. He was at my place Sun. - Tues. night. And, during that time he 1: triggered me and B: made me a bit tender. I'm not angry w/ him for this [no not for...

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'>.....killing me - Nikki Sixx. uh huh.   Currently Spinning: Heroin Diaries Current Time: 8:30 p.m. Currently: slightly achy, drained. tired. although my feet aren't in pain which. well, than...

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'I went through so much last summer. well and last yr. I've been re-reading my recent entries from this time last yr. And I was alone, for the most part. W/ my grandmother's. situation........and...

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