nothispenelope
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i like both songs. So. evan and I talked last night. we talked last mon. night too. he’s. he’s depressed. I mean clinically. this is so different from his usual agitation and spiking out. he was....
more depression talk. this actually isn’t TMI. so when i’m on my period I get super emotional. and tired. and that’s how I’ve been feeling lately. bc of my depression. like ok last night. jenn sa...
sleeping beauty and alice. and fairy tales. and plato. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
this really doesn’t have much to do w/ my last entry other than it’s about my depression. so i’m sitting here browsing the webs at 4:50 a.m. and it just hit me. I feel like i’m falling. not like ...
fb problems in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
Ya know. every time I’ve posted on fb that I want people to keep me in their thoughts no one replies. yeah they all read it but no one replies. I’ve put i’m not in a good place. I’ve put I’ve bee...
so, i don't have aids. stds and rape. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
I saw my new dr. today Megan. actually she’s a nurse. she’s really nice I like her. we talked about my depression and BC options for my period. I got a STD test today for HIV. the finger prick te...
so i have sad news. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
On Sun. my great uncle Chuck passed Mom’s side. we’re not sure how. he was 80. My mom told me yesterday [tues. here]. um. I didn’t really know him but I know what it’s like to lose someone close ...
just stuck. and frustrated. in 2015: depression
depression talk. I know that a lot of um. a lot of my depression not being as bad has to do w/ what i’m doing or. not doing. actually all of it does. they say one of the best things to do when yo...
feeling a little better today. went from a 10 to a 9. in 2015: depression
depression talk. yeah so like I said i’m feeling a little better today in terms of depression. it’s gone from a 10 to a 9. i’m not not depressed. no i’m actually really depressed as of late. yea...
better support system. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
here’s hoping people say ‘yes’. So i’m not the type to ask for much esp. help much less anything else. I’m the type to have a really good friend every few yrs. but only one. now it’s Evan before ...
2 wks. recovery. on day 2 of wk. 2. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
yeah so on fri. the............uh..............13th [hm.........] of this month I decided that i’d eat 3 things a day [not meals just things] for 2 wks. i’m now on day 2 of wk 2. the last time I ...
yeah so yesterday Stephanie and I were talking about the condoms and I think I told her I had them if I ever decided to have sex. and she said ‘well your mom tells me you’re a virgin, so’. well d...
um. in Moving/SSI/host homes
yeah so. today’s the 2nd day this wk. where i’m like just. no. I don’t want to do anything nor do I have the motivation to. it’s supposed to snow this weekend again. er I mean again as in we get ...
anorexia, ptsd, depression. pat. update. thing. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
Ya know. i’m actually not self destructing as of late. i’m not drinking [I haven’t had a drink in 2 wks. before that it was like. a shot of my parents’ whiskey. I’ve gone 4.5 months before] i’m n...
evan issues, again. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
um. idk. the other night what I thought he said scared me. I thought he said he was going to make a phone that looked exactly like mine. he doesn’t have the money to do that though. or much else....
so i was thinking about moving. and then wed. happened. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
i’ll get to wed. later. **damn it’s been a long wk. and hard. ok so on tues. I admitted to my mom that [well when she asked if Christopher was on his way out I said yes. and by ‘on his way out’ I...
so for for past 3 yrs. i’vegone to xmas eve service at my grandparents’ church w/ my grandfather, parents and sister. it’s always nice. I don’t feel like we’re being told what to believe we’re be...
from dec. 14th to. now. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
um wow. it feels like a lot’s happened esp. today. [which of course i’ll get to after more stuff happened never really catching up cause things are always happening]. uh. so Jessica my former men...
hi. still here. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
hi everyone still here. I have a lot to catch up on. <3
happy........ in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.
............happy. belated winter holidays everyone. I. hope. <3
<< he's not wrong. it's just not what i wanted to hear. in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.
yeah so on fri. later that day I told evan about the whole. dr. time wating thing and he told me that if I would’ve stayed and waited then the next patient would’ve been waiting. and so on. um ye...
yeah so on fri. I had a dr.s appt. which. didn’t happen. I mean I was there but she didn’t see me. I was there during 1:30 - 2 and my appt. was at 1:30. but.........I don’t know how long it was g...
jessica news. in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.
so Jessica [my mentor for those who don’t know] is moving. the 20th. she told me this 2 wks. ago.
recovery update thing in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.
o remember how, back last month the 10th I stated I was going to eat more. or something. well..........for like 2 wks. there I was. I was eating 2 things a day one being graham crackers. those th...
oh how the tables have turned. um. for months I was frustrated w/ evan bc he wasn’t doing anything. but now that he’s moved he’s doing stuff. he’s been to the gym he’s working on getting a job. b...
anorexia's comfortable. in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.
well but at the same time not really. actually since I’ve gained [damnit] I’ve been more comfortable. no I don’t.........I don’t mean physically. um. otherwise. it’s comfortable to be stuck. it’s...
