Entries 335

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I have so much to be happy about in life, but I think I’ve left so much of my pain and trauma unresolved that since I’ve begun therapy it’s ripped open everything I buried deep inside to survive...

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I seem to only write when it’s the worst of times. My diabetes is out of control and we can’t figure out why and yesterday while I was at work my home was broken into and robbed between 5 and 600...

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I can’t remember but I’m pretty sure I wrote about the awful Thanksgiving visit we had when traveling to see my brother and future sister in law. I love my brother, he can mess up, he is not perf...

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Yesterday 6/7 I turned 44. I’m with my parents, we are in Chicago visiting my brother and soon to be sister in law. We drove this time and it was better for me than helping them in airports. We w...

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2 years ago I escaped death and I still wonder why and I still haven’t healed mentally, I’m a disaster and feel fractured and if one more thing happens I will break.

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Just want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. This time of year is a double edged sword for me yet and it brings back everything I went through 2 years ago, but I love Christmas so it’s got high...

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I traveled to Chicago with my handicap parents to stay with my brother and soon to be sister in law because he begged me to get them out to see their house and celebrate together. No small task f...

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I’m in Chicago for Thanksgiving brought my parents to celebrate with my brother and his fiance. Life is ok but very tiring.

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On day 5 I retested as per CDC guidelines and it came back negative. I returned to work on Wednesday and must mask for 5 days so 3 more days of that unless I choose to retest and then another neg...

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So I got on paxlovid same day I tested positive for the Covid and today is Day 4 of 5 treatments. It has kept my O2 numbers where they belong so far. I won’t feel completely out of the woods unti...

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Unfortunately I tested positive today for covid. I’m praying the go around is much easier on me than the first.

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But I feel like I should at least do a small update. I’m struggling severely financially and its stressing me out all the time. I’m dealing with a lot of pain currently. Also exhaustion because o...

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I was finally able to live on my own again as I continued my post Covid almost dying recovery. It seems that it can’t be that long yet it is. I’m proud of myself for continuing to fight and get b...

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Struggling emotionally lately a lot of my unresolved trauma from vent/trach/recovery rearing it’s head, relationship going good to going backwards, more tired than ever, finances getting harder b...

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I made it officially today 6/7 I’m 43. Not where I’d thought I’d be, but grateful compared to how I was a year ago to be where I am.

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I had a panic attack at work Thursday. I’m not sure of the exact trigger, but full blown couldn’t breath uncontrolled crying frozen in my chair unable to speak. Thank goodness the teacher knows h...

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I finally got an appointment with a therapist and waited 2 months for it and what happens I am sitting waiting at my computer (it was an online appointment) for 20 minutes only to get a message t...

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Not so happy in other ways driving to church today I let my brother drive he clipped a deer that ran infront of us in my car. Most importantly we are ok but there was damage to my car my 7 month ...

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There are days when I feel normal and can function normally and then there are days it’s as if my brain is broken. I’m broken. I start therapy on the 23 its virtual. It can’t fix my broken brain ...

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I’m all about mental health for everyone yet can’t kick my own ass into making an appointment when clearly I need it because why else would I be bawling at a TV show where a girl dies and her fri...

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I was told I don’t need any more CT scan because it’s been a year and the damage that’s left is permanent. While my lungs do look better than a year ago, they are still and apparently always will...

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The last two months have been crazy with packing and moving and returning to work and just the continued stress of life. I got sick during my first week of work and am sick again now. My disabili...

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Has almost passed since they began waking me up from the coma. It’s hard to believe. I’m currently stressed over a few things and my anxiety is high. I’m behind on all my faves here. I need to ha...

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This counts as my last entry of 22. I did it I made it. This year has been the worst of my life. I must be stronger than I think because I survived. I pray for a happier and healthier new year ah...

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From today on in 2021 until I fully woke up in January of 2022. Yesterday marked the year anniversary of being put on the ventilator. It’s been a very emotional month for many reasons, but from t...

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