cheesyemoheart ⋅ 30 ⋅

"It has been said time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone."

Rose Kennedy

Entries 279

Page 5 of 12

We will work things out because as long as we stay together we will always figure it out. Breathe, It’ll be okay. We have 30 days to find a new place to live and I don’t know how the actual fuc...


I’m not okay. I likely won’t be okay for a long time. I need to breathe. Fuck.


(Context: someone direct messaged me on kik and has been making me uncomfortable. Will post screenshots later.) “Yep. That’s it. If things go too far, I’m going off on him. I havent gotten to do ...


April 10, 2019

Fuck this sickness. in In My World

Its 2:35 in the morning, I’m completely exhausted. Still sick, going on day 5. Lost count of how many times I’ve run to the bathroom now. And I’m just generally in a bad mood. I want to be so fr...


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You know I’m missing you today. Playing the one song that hurts every time while I’m in Walmart and have to remain composed is just not fucking fair. I miss you.


March 16, 2019

Stronger forces in In My World

In a combination between a very vivid dream and total darkness I forgot where I was for a few seconds when I woke up. It was.... nice. It was terrifying. I like being here because I feel safe wit...


I took the necessary steps to help a suicidal friend yesterday and then got chewed out by another for “hiding shit” today. I did my fucking best, man.


January 08, 2019

Late-night Confessions in In My World

I keep two articles of clothing on my bed all the time: Ali’s hoodie, Protector’s shirt. Well in all my years of borrowing things that smelled like people nothing has ever retained its scent for...


January 08, 2019

Why am I awake? in In My World

The reason I keep this prosebox is for the same reason I used opendiary before the fallout. I write so that I can look back at who I was and how I was feeling. I write so I remember what was goin...


January 08, 2019

Too much to ask in In My World

I’m sure I’ve heard this song a million times but today it reminds me of you.


Your song is becoming mine and it is really bad for both of us.


December 31, 2018

Little Things in In My World

I had a rough day and I was having a rough night until I woke up and your arm was over me. Just resting on my side. Comfortable. I sleep better with you at my side and you hold me in your sleep. ...


5.) Black nails, fur and dust covered sketchbook, mirror on its side, leash, sink 4.) Legs asleep, cold linoleum, an intense sense of need, back pain 3.) Kittens eating, space heater, phone keyb...


December 17, 2018

Small Steps in In My World

I brushed the knots out of my very greasy hair. Improvements. Its small but it’s something. I talked to my advisor for almost an hour today about school next semester. I don’t mind the low so ...


December 16, 2018

Tension in In My World

My friends mom is effectively forcing tension between her and I and its seriously pissing me off. We live together and we are about to be working together as well and her mom put the thought in ...


December 15, 2018

Maintenance in In My World

“Treat yourself like one of the things that needs to get done.” “As long as it has nutritional value it counts as food.” Your voice is the one in my head when I catch myself not taking care of m...


December 15, 2018

Low in In My World

Sometimes it doesn’t hit me when I first wake up. Sometimes it waits and then creeps up on my once the conversation goes quiet or the first time I’m alone in a room. Sometimes it comes mid laugh,...


December 13, 2018

I didn't die. in In My World

I’m leaving this disclaimer for my sister because I know she reads these. My house had the stomach flu, do not read this entry. Its TMI anyway. - - - - I have been off and on trying to write an e...


December 04, 2018

Last stretch home in In My World

Out of nowhere I got this dizzy, foggy feeling and I’m breathing fine but it makes the air feel heavy. It’s hard to focus on anything other than my phone or the pain in my back. Signs are blurry....


I have a chance at real, new, and happy… …so why am I so afraid? Why do I want to fall back into old habits? Why isnt this simple? Everything is so goddamned complicated.


November 24, 2018

November 23 in In My World

I’m so glad my best friend has found her happy but my God is it hard to watch. I feel so goddamned selfish all the time but fuck am I trying.


November 23, 2018

Thanksgiving in In My World

This year I am grateful that despite all odds, I’m still here. Happy Thanksgiving


November 21, 2018

Life in In My World

I’ve been trying to write and I have no words. Things are.... weird. I’m still here.


November 08, 2018

Done in In My World

My 5 year boyfriend broke up with me 4 days before our 5th anniversary and the day before my dead best friends birthday. Fuck this week.


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