Entries 281

Page 6 of 12

I don’t get to see Ian tonight as has been our usual, so when i had a chance to see a movie in Portland Thursday night, i invited him. We saw the Oscar nominated shorts, plus a few extra ‘notable...

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A couple of thoughts: I’d like to live more in the moment and think less about the immediate future. I find myself thinking about what plans i have for the next couple months and how fast time is...

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Sometimes i get to a point where i feel i can’t organize everything in my brain. I feel generalized anxiety, even though there is not much to really worry about. My body has been hurting more th...

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Since this is an Oscar contender, it might not seem like the kind of film i would talk about. But. I heard about it and planned to see it before it was splashed all over. Color. Charm. Music. The...

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Here is a video introducing TRE, which i have been doing for about a year now. It’s been instrumental in my mental health and addressing my childhood trauma issues. I’ve been taking private class...

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Now with edit I found this in my draft box from 01/05/17 (even though i saw it before 2017) and never posted it. Oh well, here ya be. Now that i think on it, i was not far off my mark to see one ...

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This morning’s text has me wiggling in my seat, “I know i would much rather be fiddling around in your drawers than whatever it is i am actually doing.”

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TMI entry: forewarning, this entry has sexual content Like kids: me (so very close to 40) and he, 47…woke in the middle of the night- his first night ever sleeping in my bed- to that lust. The in...

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The one where you don’t want to say goodbye and you want to adjust your plans to see that person again? I am out of town next weekend and won’t see Ian. I feel like my brain is taken up by him. I...

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Its good to write directly after i see my therapist. As i was driving home, a few thoughts were bubbling up because today was a more emotional session. Often now, and definitely in the past, i’ve...

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As we sit, Ian says he is entering the land of his people (especially the accent). I seem to love the east coast men who transplanted westwards 20 years ago. I feel like i am still processing th...

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morning, the light i love the most. i don’t want unnatural light to get in the way of basking in the honest morning light. What brings you joy? Morning light brings me joy. in multiple areas i’v...

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The last three times that Ian and I have scheduled dates, it’s been on snow or ice days. We’ve ended up at his place, exploring one another’s bodies and watching movies. We were talking the othe...

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I am amazed at how many different, perhaps conflicting, emotions can be felt at one time. In therapy yesterday i explained how i felt in regards to my mother’s death. still calm sometimes walkin...

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I was woefully neglectful in my indie film goal. Well, not too bad. I am finally writing about the tenth film. I actually saw this one on Amazon Prime. I don’t have the energy or inclination to ...

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“Holding you close from a ridiculous distance” Some people have such a way with words… (And it’s not me this time) My mom passed suddenly last night. The interventions were not working (getting ...

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oh. what a word. Lately when i’ve gotten some doozers from word of the day emailed to me, i’ve shared with Ian thrasonical- boastful; vainglorious (he woke the next morning and opened a book to ...

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”You couldn’t drive three hours to Seattle, but here you are climbing a graveyard fence.” Sh’nownigans, revisited on a non-snow day. I don’t think i will see Ian for like 2 or 3 weeks now, becaus...

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the last bits of my dream are slipping away, so i will start with the end and move back. My final words as i woke, “I need to be frank with you,” (he inserts a poor pun, which i love) “The lifest...

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Today is the second day in a row that every school district in the area cancelled school. I think it was unnecessary, but i haven’t seen what other parts of the city look like. Now, yesterday’s s...

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i;ve included part of my previous entry here My sister and i have been dealing with health issues with our mom. She lives in CA with her bother and has COPD. Her health has deteriorated to the po...

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for the snow. Who knows if it happens. One of my favorite phrases to use for the unexplained is “its magic”… but in no way do i feel that about meteorology. It seems like the news is just trying ...

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We have arrived. In a space requiring backs of hands barely touching foreheads and lips on shoulders my feet tucked under your thigh Ian and i met downtown portland to see a matinee showing of Ar...

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not really, though. i stayed home today from work, took a personal day. Ian and i were jokingly calling it my “leisurely naughty” day. Date day tomorrow. 2:45 tomorrow we are meeting downtown p...

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“Oh i do miss the old style pharmacy.” “I do believe there is one on Sandy Boulevard. If movie goes well. And then quiet corner pinball in the near future. After that perhaps a malted milk.” le s...

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