Entries 136

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As much as I have been seeking, I have been avoiding. The fact that I don’t write with any regularity tells me this is true. I have no excuse - I need no excuse - I’ve just been over here doing l...

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So I’ve been on Guanfacine for about 2 weeks, and I think I notice some changes. First of all, I’m sleeping like the dead. I am a rare ADHDer who doesn’t have a co-morbid sleep disorder. I’ve sle...

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My boss is a fucking gem. I swear every other interaction with him works to restore my hope for a career in this organization. Today he was talking to a coworker about their fucked up promotion/...

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M has been discharged!!! I was not thinking it was going to happen, he had IV meds when I got there at 8. But after they kicked in he ate his breakfast unassisted, walked around the room, we had ...

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I seriously doubt it will happen, but today was a much better day and the doc implied that M could leave tomorrow. There’s two stages that I think are confusing people in my previous entry. When...

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Man, if I’d written this when I came back from lunch it’d be a completely different entry. He was so lucid! We had a pretty good conversation. We chatted with nurses and the doc. Things were look...

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I woke up to a voicemail from M. We don’t do voicemail with each other. His pained voice telling me he’s calling an ambulance. I don’t hear from him again until after noon. Mom, my sister and I ...

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Friday was hectic. I was up early to finish getting ready, and out the door shortly after 7. I drove to pick up Red, and then drove to the airport. I got flagged twice at security, because of cou...

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I had possibly the best example of why my brain is absolutely fucking ridiculous. So growing up my dad and I went to a bunch of air shows. I loved it, the acrobatics, the noise, the size, the te...

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I expected to be exhausted when I got home today. I swapped one of my days off so I got today off with Red, I work tomorrow and then I’m off for a longish weekend. Red had some pet errands to do,...

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It has already been A Week. Not all bad, but not feeling great right now. I had a session with my psych yesterday. We talked about how things have been and she actually listened. I told her abou...

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I had a counselling session Thursday. It was less than stellar. It was another instance where I’m telling a story that, to me, is clearly some part of my neuro-divergence, but she has no idea, so...

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It has been really hard for me to write since M has been away. I’ve watched a LOT of shows that I’d been setting aside, since M and I have so many we watch together. On Sunday I met Bastet and h...

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What’s something that everyone else has but not you? Weird, I read this as something that I have that no one else does, and I was like… my sister? I honestly can’t think of how to answer this. I...

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When I was in Ontario in December, mom and I were driving back to my home town and we were talking about M and I, our relationship, how we’ve changed and grown together, and how I understand why ...

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I started an entry on, like, the 22nd or something, but M’s departure was pending and I found myself avoiding looking too closely at my feelings until after he was gone. Clearly that didn’t work...

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I’ve really lucked out on duty weeks. Normally I carry the phone and abstain from intoxicants and that’s the extent of it. This weekend was not that. Friday we had a snow storm. Thursday night I...

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When The One and I were solid we used to do this thing where, when we wanted to be frank and serious about something, we would preface it by saying “Honest Truth Time”, and then the other person ...

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Stolen from Phoenix Seraph What was your biggest life lesson this year and what did you learn? There are things outside your control and there’s literally nothing you can do to about it. What di...

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I have been thinking a lot about what I want out of 2023. December has really given me that reset that I was saying M and I needed, and it has helped me realize that some of the things I’m doing ...

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Why yes, I am listening to Taylor Swift on repeat these days, why do you ask? Also I don’t necessarily feel the sentiment of the title, when I thought it, it made me laugh. I get frustrated with...

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I have been doing this same survey since 2014, but since I jumped journals I don’t have the archive anymore. Here’s 2022 in a nutshell. What did you do in 2022 that you’d never done before? - B...

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Stolen from Midorinokaeru How much would you pay for a list of everyone who has ever sexually fantasized about or masturbated to you? Why? I initially read this question wrong. I thought I was su...

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I saw Janeane again last night. We’d had plans to go for a walk Monday night but Mom whisked me away to my hometown for a night (she Needed A Break) , where I got to see The Odd Couple. It was lo...

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It has been a whirlwind, folks. My grandmother died at 11am on December 2nd. I genuinely appreciate the supportive comments you left on the Nov 30 post. And I did mull it over, but I was given t...

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