Azzura
Silence is loud
Entries 200
Page 3 of 8
I had a dream last night about meeting another person in my building who had a bad experience too with my ex friend neighbour. It was a cathartic dream in some ways. She told me about another pla...
Close neighbours to cold war in Aftermath
When I first moved I became friends with a woman who I now suspect is a narcassist. It became very whirlwind with her very fast. Several times she would start fights with me to the point where I...
So I am 32 years old and I feel like such a child Still. My father was molesting me as well as my bro sis and Mom growing up. As well as physical mental and emotional abuse. As a result I have ...
Done. Did. in Aftermath
You are so Irrevocably broken Damaged Stone wall Silencer One trick pony I knew the whole time you were a phoney Broken telephone Scratched record on repeat. Ill be fine You? I dont kn...
So it's kind of good I drank yesterday so I didn't drink today. Since I will be cleaning up Tommorow I hope to.get down to business and catch up on all of that shit that accumulated this mo...
Validation in Aftermath
I want validation from people. But the right kind. From the right people. But sometimes I see myself buying into all the wrong kind. It buoys me up. It sustains me. Sometimes it’s the only k...
I feel so raw right now. I hurt. I feel exposed. I feel vulnerable. Dont touch me. I’ll flinch away. I am feeling everything. I cant stop. I cant distract. I cant look away. I cant forget. All I...
Bonded. No soul. in Elm
You dont have a soul I don’t think If you did you buried it a long time ago No humanity No love No sentiment to you Just pure instinct Scratching crawling Trying to get on top Trying to stay...
Bad brain Still the same Act out Sound crazy But your acting too sane Calling me mamm Like I’m not going to complain Fuck you bitch For thinking With your brain Not your heart Your soul ...
You pushed pushed and pushed Mercicessly With glee Like itd never end Like id always be there Like i would still care Poked me with a hot prod Until i became cold I got the fuck up I was a...
Dying to Live in Riverdale
Time. Its never really mine. I am always hustling. Desperate for so little. Whats the fucking point? They say wait. For fucking what? Seems like Ive been waiting all my life. And all ive been...
I wanna fuck you raw. Deep. No sleep. Not skin. But from within. I want to get under your skin. Veins. I want to feel your pain. I want to see you hurt I want to see you fall. I want to fe...
Observing. Cant do nothing but that. Drained. In pain. Wounded. I give up. I have no more words to say. I dont know what to do anymore. I fight and fight fight. Its futile. Its dark. The...
Im trying make light Its like im in a circle Everone surrounds me Shining brightly. And i cant get the light. My stick is wet. I only have one rock. I cry out. But no one helps. Instead th...
Life on Hold. in Elm
So feels like my life is on Hold when I am sick. Got a throat thing. It’s breaking today but I geared up and went to the walk in clinic today. Dr gave me anti biotics. It started breaking before...
My sister. in Elm
So my sister reached out to me after 6 months of us not talking. I confessed to her that our father molested me. She didn’t believe me. Continued to question me and bring up other men who moles...
Mass shooting o Toronto what are you becoming? in Elm
I cannot sleep. I am.so upset about what has happened in my city. I was out around 10 when I saw multiple police cars heading down to the danforth As well as a helicopter which I presume may be...
Sundays the worst day in Elm
Sunday’s are the worst days. So boring this week anyways. Life will get better it’s just been pretty slow lately. Trying not to give in the desperation. I applied to a job. Fingers crossed. ...
Emma my old friend . I do miss you . But the times could not let me bring you with me. Emma my dear friend. I wish it didn’t have to end. But the second you didn’t believe what I’ve been throu...
Fuck your expectations in Elm
Fuck your expectations I am doing just fine. Are you ever really around enough to know what’s right? The fact that I care so much about doing well. Makes me believe that I am doing my best. S...
I should care so much about what she thinks of me but I do. I compare myself to her too much. I wish I didn’t feel so scared all the time about everything. And guilty. I guess it’s because I ...
Fuck why does life have to be so fucking hard? I don’t have anyone I can really trust around me That can help me . I feel stupid because I feel like I have to so all the work in these relationsh...
Sometimes it feels like your the only mediocre guy left on earth. How we met waa cosmic. To me at least. I never let people in like that. You are dangerous. This I know. And i am dangerous i...
Like Ariel you took my voice When i saw you I knew i could not sing The names piled on top of me I felt humilated and ashamed Never at the time Realizing that shame belongs to you But instead ...
What you did. in Elm
What you did. Was nothing special. But it was special You were special I cared about you. I guess i shouldnt have It bled me dry. I knew it. But i couldn't stop. I dont know why. But i k...
