Philomath
Just a 21 year old trying to find myself in the world around me. Avid reader and occasional writer.
There is a rainstorm within me, from which will bloom the most beautiful flowers you've ever seen
Entries 62
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07/24/2023 in The Beginning
It’s a rainy day here in the city. The rain always reminds of the Leonard Cohen song, “Famous Blue Raincoat”. It’s been so hot recently that we really needed the rain. If not for the environ...
7/17/23 in The Beginning
Almost 2 in the morning here, Eastern Standard Time. Sitting alone in my own personal haven, with a dim light and music fading in and out between my ears. (Bach sent us heaven through audible fre...
7/4/2023 in The Beginning
The Fourth is a weird holiday for me. I’m grateful for our independence and how relatively safe I am living here. However, I can’t help but think about the destruction and lives destroyed by our ...
06/30/23 in The Beginning
So here I am writing, in the early morning hours. Awake, fully alert, bored, and slightly on edge. Nothing out of the ordinary. I tell myself that writing today is useless, I have nothing of inte...
June 6 2023 in The Beginning
I have a feeling I won’t sleep tonight. I don’t want to sleep tonight, although it’s not like I’ve been doing anything worthwhile in the night to excuse myself of getting proper sleep. Sometimes ...
May 31 2023 - What is Existence? in The Beginning
Life is a strange thing isn’t it? The idea that we, or you, or me exist for a moment and then presumably never again is such a strange thought. It makes me wonder why existence happens at all. Bi...
May 1, 2023 in The Beginning
I have always felt a wave of disappointment wash over me whenever I am unable to do something for someone if they ask me. A neighbor had asked if I were to be able to watch over their dog and I t...
May 1, 2023 in The Beginning
I have always felt a wave of disappointment wash over me whenever I am unable to do something for someone if they ask me. A neighbor had asked if I were to be able to watch over their dog and I t...
4/19/2023 in The Beginning
I haven’t been on here in quite a while. Days go on and they go by so quickly before I even have time to do anything with it. I wish I could stop time and not worry about not doing anything. I’m ...
March 20 in The Beginning
Just came back from a week in England, already missing it. The memories I made there will forever be with me and a part of me will never be the same as I am desperate to relive the feelings those...
Walkin Blues in The Beginning
Sitting down on the bench overlooking the pond listening to some Robert Johnson. Thinking about how fast time passes and how our life is just a small spect on the giant cosmic time-line. Weird to...
March 7 2023 in The Beginning
I just finished having a discussion with a very good old friend of mine. We were discussing the fact that everyone sees you differently then you see yourself, whether it be a physical attribute o...
March 1 in The Beginning
A wave of happiness as hit me today, I’m extremely happy, I feel great about myself. I think it’s the weather. The sun is shining brightly, not too hot but enough to feel its warmth. There’s no w...
“Man is born free and everywhere he is in chains.” - Rousseau in The Beginning
Maybe I suffer from depression, I dunno. Are lingering thoughts about death make one more likely to have depression? I’m not interested in killing myself, because I do really enjoy life. I think ...
Wednesday Blues in The Beginning
Today I’ve just been doing schoolwork and figured that later today I’ll be doing some research on some philosophical/theological topics. For my own personal use, not for academic reasons. The la...
January 23 2023 in The Beginning
School is going well, still finding the groove between balancing work and education. A few days ago, I was sitting on the bench that overlooks the pond behind the school and a man came up to me t...
Starting off the New Year in The Beginning
So far, the new year has been uneventful to the point that it reaches bleakness. I had a job interview earlier in the afternoon, I think it went well enough. It’ll keep me busy along with my scho...
December 8 2022 - Midnight Thoughts in The Beginning
I have always been captivated by space. I could stare endlessly at the night sky, staring up into a world that is infinite, one that will exist forever when I am long gone. To be able to stare at...
November 29 2022 (Just Living) in The Beginning
Sitting in my room, bored like usual. I sit and pass the time not doing much, waiting for the next day to come to repeat the same process of boredom. Nothing really seems to excite me, no passion...
November 16 2022 - Finding an Identity. in The Beginning
From a very young age, I’ve always had a hard time trying to find my identity or role in life. I take a look to my peers and seeing how they already understand their own personal goals and unders...
October 25 2022 in The Beginning
Sitting underneath the swaying trees on a bench overlooking the water. It’s a beautiful day outside; it’s warming like a childhood hug in a dream. I am totally at peace, I am happy. I never want ...
Poem in The Beginning
Oh how we forget the night How we must announce on our Fallen shore, the lost innocnece Of virginity and brotherhood How we all sink into the abyss How we forget the summer night Naked by our sid...
October 1 in The Beginning
A poem of mine was recently accepted and will be submitted in a poetry magazine. It was my first time ever reaching out to a publisher and to be accepted use to be just a wild dream of mine but i...
September 30 in The Beginning
I am alone in my suffocating bedroom with my thoughts and the lonely crickets outside my bedroom window. I suffer from tiredness, but I stay awake in hopes to hear from you. My heart has been sha...
July 27 2022 in The Beginning
I woke up yesterday not feeling anything. Had no motivation, no desire about life, no thought. Just complete autonomous movement. I was like a machine, doing physical operations but no time to th...
