Entries 49

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It’s funny - I’ve been thinking about this for about a week. The question has been dancing around in my head and I believe it’s perspective. Let’s answer the baited question that satan gives to n...

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I have been on this philosophical journey to figure out where I took a wrong turn that upended my childhood dreams. I’ve blamed this person or that one and I’ve blamed myself. It’s ultimately li...

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It is said that one decision can effect up to 17 people who are aquatinted with you, even if they aren’t close. I’ve tried to keep this in mind when I do things or make decisions. A lot of things...

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I know for a good 15 years my mom will occasionally send me a text and ask my advice about something. That was about the time she decided to leave my stepdad (the narcissist) and be the strong in...

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I am helping to teach homeschool. I am running a business. I am working on my music. I am volunteering as a youth sports coach 3 days a week. I’ve been told I have too many irons in the fire. Ma...

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In a week and a half will mark the anniversary of when I made a decision for myself. A decision to regain my health and start a new journey. Yet, that journey is not what this entry is about ent...

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As it appears, I have always existed behind walls. I built them high so no one could break thru my barrier. I didn’t want to know anyone and didn’t want anyone to know the real me. I was conditi...

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I want to apologise to anyone who ever walked away from a conversation with me feeling like I treated you like you were less than a person or that you didn’t matter. If I ever posted something th...

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I don’t believe in coincidence. There, I said it. When I began this journey the sole purpose of these entries was to write about things I couldn’t say out loud. The anonymity was intriguing and t...

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I look at life differently than I used to. I guess that is age talking. I look to the past and think I wasted life somehow. I spent too much time dreaming and trying to will something to happen o...

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I’m not sure what prompted the imaginary friends. I was 4 maybe 5 years old and according to my mom I had legitimate conversations with a boy I called Bud that no one else could see. There was al...

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I am lying here awake. Typically, over the last few weeks I have not had too many negative thoughts. I mean, none that have brought on anxiety like a few months ago. I was working at a job I too...

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I have been having more dreams lately. I have been fascinated by dream interpretation for a while, but I mainly have done that for others. One reason is because it seemed as though I couldn’t rem...

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I have noticed over the years that many friends I have are a result of someone approaching me, and not the other way around. When I try to approach someone it’s almost as if I have huge sign over...

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I recently agreed to act in a community theater play as a fundraiser for a church. I had the most amazing time! It was a lot of work but it was over before I was ready for it to be over. I have ...

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I have this urge to write something. I just don’t know what. I used to dream about playing large stadiums or being an actor in a movie. I guess I’m just a big dreamer with no path to making them ...

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I used to pride myself with an ability to manage my patience with others. My stress and tolerance level with others was very high. It took a lot to get me to be impatient and upset. I’m not sure ...

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Is it just me or is relationships nowadays like streaming music? There was a time when people invested into the entire album. However, that was when the bands actually made records with well plan...

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My mind has always been somewhere but in the here and now. When I was in elementary school I would daydream and forget to do my work. Well, lets be honest, I just didn’t want to. One daydream I ...

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It was Christmas, 1986. I was in the 6th grade. I was thankful to have had the teacher that I had. She was a sweet person that communicated on our level. I found out many years later that she cam...

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Maybe for this reason, I dream. It’s not that I don’t like my reality - I just don’t care for it. A little bit of me wishes I had grown up during the 1800s. A time when people wasn’t so desensiti...

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I was probably 4 maybe 5 years old when I kept having the same reoccurring nightmare. It lasted what I’m perceiving to be well into the time I started the 3rd grade. It didn’t happen nightly but ...

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Growing up I was unaware that my stepdad was a narcissist. I did not know what that was at all until I was older. He had a way of projecting his pain on me for being born. He told me when I was 4...

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That is an unusual way to begin - but I needed something. I needed an outlet. I needed a way to say something without explaining to the people around me, family or friends. It seems that everyone...

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