~Octopussy~ ⋅ 41 ⋅
Just an American living Bangkok and writing about all the inappropriate things that I somehow get roped into joining... I've been writing in blogs since 1999, so I'm fairly inconsistent. Sometimes I write a lot, sometimes I have nothing to say for months at a time, but I'm never gone, so just be patient and something new will come around.
The truth is of course is that there is no journey. We are arriving and departing all at the same time
Entries 403
Page 4 of 17
Thursday was the one year anniversary of my arrival in Thailand. I posted about it and my friend Johnny had a very funny response. “It’s only been a year?! It feels longer than that…” I asked him...
I had a five day weekend, and four of those five days I spent looking at apartments. I love my current apartment, but it’s just such a long commute to work and I’m tired of spending 4 hours every...
So I’m on week 2 of my new job and week 1 of being actually on campus at the University. I have to say, I’m a little confused by all of it. Each meeting just raises more questions than it answers...
Nothing has happened. I’m still on vacation. Jesus, I don’t know how Europeans do it. In America, we don’t have vacations… at least, we don’t have mandatory time off. When you first get a job, yo...
I’m back in Bangkok. It was fine and all of my stressing out was unnecessary. But so what? Learning that my fears were unfounded doesn’t exactly stop me from having those anxieties. You know, hea...
Candlebright in Things That I'm Grateful For
Ironically, something that was said on the new season of The Real World: Homecoming triggered a thought process in my head. I know why I have such severe panic attacks but I only know the symptom...
I’m trying to stay out of my head because I’ve been having panic attacks for days now. I’m stressing out so much about this trip to Thailand because I feel like I have no control over how it goes...
Let's Take Some Questions From the Audience in Things That I'm Grateful For
WHERE: At my condo overlooking the river just outside of Bangkok with nothing to do because it’s a week-long holiday and all my friends are just arriving back from orgies in Phuket. WEARING: Bask...
Do You Sleep? by Lisa Loeb in The Song Remembers When
It’s funny because there’s something really peaceful about the fact that I’m completely disconnected from everything. Do you know why? In America, participation is a requirement… constantly inund...
I’m sorry I haven’t written in forever, I’ve just not had the desire to write. There are dozens of incomplete entries in the drafts because for a while there I really was trying to sit down once ...
I know it’s been a while, and I’m sorry for not writing, but I’m finally here in Thailand for the long-haul. I know, nearly 5 months after I arrived and I’m finally assured that I won’t be sponta...
The Molly Ringwald Moment in The Song Remembers When
In August I wrote about songs that connected me to my emotions, but there’s an even deeper level than that. It’s the level that makes you dance. I’m very self-conscious about my body and I rarely...
I know it’s been quite a while, and the truth is I have about 14 incomplete entries saved in my drafts folder that I’m going to be finishing up… and they belong to almost every book. So you’ll ge...
Onslaught in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write
You know, things are good here. I like my job, I’m pretty happy with everything. Even though it’s a bit stressful, the amount of stress I’m dealing with now is nowhere near what I dealt with in C...
I left quarantine on a Thursday, the next Monday morning I started training at my new job. That whole process was mind-blowing to me. I had my choice of five different positions. The one I wanted...
Emotions in The Song Remembers When
Earlier this year I heard a song that kind of snapped something in me. And it was weird because I didn’t actually understand the lyrics because it was in Mandarin, and I don’t speak Mandarin. But...
I am just finishing day 11 of my quarantine. I have had three interviews, one of those being a second interview, so I’m hopeful that I will already have a job by the time I leave this little qua...
Well, I made it. I’m writing this from my Quarantine Hotel just outside of Bangkok. While it was quite long and arduous, it was actually one of the easiest travel experiences I’ve ever had. Part ...
I am not very good at healthy coping skills. I deal with things the way I deal with them and then completely explode in anger whenever someone questions my techniques. I’m not very good at taking...
The Undiscovered Country in Things That I'm Grateful For
To say that I’m still shaken by the events that unfolded in the last entry would be accurate. I’m very sensitive to death, especially random death. The full story about those young men emerged fu...
As I finished watching a series that I ended up loving (despite everyone hating it) called HIStory4: Close To You, there was a character that popped up that I hadn’t even remembered existed until...
One Way Ticket in The Song Remembers When
Part of leaving means that I’m having to clean up and sort all of my stuff, I found a box of photographs in my things. I’m not a very sentimental person, probably because of how emotional I am, a...
There was one question that hung in my head in the middle of the night: Why am I doing this? My initial reason for going to Thailand doesn’t exist anymore yet here I am still chugging ahead. Why?...
The trip with my mother was exactly what I expected it to be. Which was fine. She’s bigoted and racist and extremely transphobic, but she doesn’t think she is because she’s a good Christian woman...
This whole situation is super stressful, and I have to do it all myself. I don’t have to do it all myself, but the truth is, there’s no one else I trust to really help me with it. We finally reac...
