J.E. ⋅ 41 ⋅

“It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.”

Philip K. Dick

Entries 1,675

Page 9 of 67

October 12, 2023

Fire In My Belly in Hello

No, not passion. More like the jalapenos I had on my Italian sub. Practically inhaled the damn thing as I was Shakey hungry. Other than running to the store earlier for some meats and veggies ...


October 12, 2023

Mark My Words in Hello

By the end of November we’ll be paying $5 a gallon. The world’s on fire and we’re playing politics as football. Gather round your team! Eat a hot dog!!!


October 10, 2023

7:16 AM UPDATE in Hello

Welp, guess the inpatient is in limbo for now. I have no new info and they don’t know what the hell they’re doing. Shaved my head and face, had a hot shower, now I’m munching down a breakfast bu...


I’ve got a bad fucking headache. Right behind my eyes. I’m stressed. While smoking a cig before group I saw the coordinator of River Valley. I asked him a question about the razor policy. B...


October 09, 2023

Internet Rabbit Hole in Hello

I was on Reddit and someone made a post about Gary wanting to be a pedophile. I responded Gary Glitter? From there I got on Wikipedia and read up on famed musician and notorious pedophile Gary G...


October 08, 2023

Smacks And Crunches in Hello

My front door. I just finished the short story Saturn Rising by Arthur C. Clarke. That was a great read. “There goes the gong. If the ladies are ready, I suggest we walk down to dinner throu...


October 08, 2023

Thirst in Hello

I’m craving juice, lemonade or basically anything with a tart fruit flavor. I drank the last of the pineapple lemonade yesterday. Mmm, pineapple. Speaking of I polished off the fresh pineapple ...


October 07, 2023

Chili Butt Blast in Hello

I’m typing this up from the toilet. 💩 The chili was great but thirty minutes later my stomach started hurting. So here I am… I’m blaming last night’s pizza. 🤷‍♂️ Some from the last entry asked w...


October 07, 2023

I'm Fucked Up in Hello

Might as well party before I go into inpatient and see my demons full force. Sober


October 07, 2023

Worm Eats The Rabbit Hole in Hello

On my way to pick up mom I looked up Stiff Little Fingers. Bought their first album ten years ago. Played it through. Now I’m in a 2010 kick where I started downloading full discographies. Sun...


October 06, 2023

Come Scratch My Back! in Hello

I’ve got one spot I can’t reach. Another night of a good deep sleep, I could get used to this. It’s a nice, cool 67 outside. FINALLY! Honestly, I want to sleep a little longer. I’m nice and war...


Google it Brian May (guitarist of Queen) has a PhD and has worked with NASA and has published papers. Dexter Holland of The Offspring has a PhD Mr. Bean himself, Rowan Atkinson, Master’s in Elec...


When that Trazodone hit it hit hard! Dream one, I was in high school trying to find a place to dip out and have a cigarette. I made it outside to smoke it was raining. Then I’m walking home in ...


October 05, 2023

11:11 PM in Hello

How the fuck am I still not sleepy?!?!? Over 36 hours now. I need a smoke. Had fajitas tonight, twas good. One Trazodone down, let’s get it started.


October 04, 2023

Lie Still, Little Bottle in Hello

I had the assessment and I’ll be in inpatient within the week. Spoke with the court liaison after and they’ll clear things with the judge and get me a new court date. Is it odd that I’m excited...


October 04, 2023

2:00 AM in Hello

Passed the 24 hour mark around 10 PM. Wide awake… I’m under my blanket but too hot, feel slightly moiste. Very tempted to make myself a some highly caffeinated cup(s) of coffee and just stay up....


October 03, 2023

Capitalism And Bug Bites in Hello

Mom is old school. She’ll send checks in the mail or go to a location to pay a bill. Two months ago apparently T-Mobile put into effect a $5 service charge if you go to the store to pay. That’...


October 03, 2023

1:16 AM in Hello

No one commented on my last entry. 😭 No worries, just one of my wild ideas Had a double whammy today. Piss test at group then piss test at the courthouse. I failed them. THC for group and THC...


October 02, 2023

Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment! in Hello

The Ramones are stuck in my head. It’s 4:16 AM and I’ve given up on trying to sleep. I crawled into an Arthur C. Clarke short story collection and came across a compelling tale titled Who’s Th...


October 01, 2023

Food Stuffs in Hello

I’ve been in a poor mental health funk this past week. Last night was really bad. I am the king of self sabotage. Anyways, mom is feeling bad for me and said we’ll go out to eat tonight. My ch...


September 28, 2023

Rest in Hello

I’ve slept the day away. Woke up with a tension headache and a throat so sore I can feel it in my right ear when I swallow. Yeah, I’m not doing shit today. Heh. Ooo, I do have ice cream. I ...


To the funny farm Where life is beautiful all the time And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men In their clean white coats And they’re coming to take me away HA HA The counselor informed me ...


Oct. 4th I meet with the head counselor to get a referral for River Valley. That’s the free inpatient I’d like to go to. Not sure how long it will take but if I have to go then I have to go. ...


September 24, 2023

That Was A Bust in Hello

So I drove mom and aunt to the reunion. We were there maybe thirty minutes. My aunt didn’t want to go but Mom was insistent. She said she only knew two people there. While she did her thing I ...


But I don’t like you anymore… Got some…info today and I’ve been in my head since. I reached out to a girl who graduated from group if she’s ever been in an inpatient. She told me her bf is in t...


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