JB
The man who looks for security, even in the mind, is like a man who would chop off his limbs in order to have artificial ones which will give him no pain or trouble.
Entries 103
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early rise in Magma
Been working since 5am in the office. Woke at 4am, restless. Been so inconsistent with writing here. Writing in general. Miss creativity, interchange, the dynamic of originality. Spring is comin...
Sunday morning in Magma
It is zero degrees outside and the wind is forceful in its gusts, our house tremoring with each pass it takes. The kids woke up and are watching cartoons. Joey came down first, I rub his hair ...
It’s falling and it’s wet so this is going to be messy and unfortunately a dangerous scene considering the habits of long island drivers and the fact it may become colder (read: ICE). NIna’s home...
Somedays I just wish I made left turns where I made rights. Regret is ugly.
To say happy birthday with your own voice to someone will never be outweighed by a text message or facebook e-mail. I want so much and this is so far from it. .....
Sometimes it takes just one song to fuck you up and send you into a tailspin. California dreaming indeed. Thanks a lot Adele.
Sometimes it is difficult to stay on course, to persevere against the voice in my head that dares/entices me to stray. Sometimes I can look back and say this subterfuge isn’t /wasn’t worth it. T...
Sometimes you’re just in a mood that only sex can fix. Long. Drawn out, deeply passionate, dedicated, raunchy enjoyment. Now back to work I go.
Right now this is the only word I have for my wife.
People ... in Magma
I’m almost at the point that I won’t enter another political themed discussion again. Some people just think they know everything and with my passion all that happens is I get so angry I can’t pu...
Anniversary in Magma
It’s my 8 year anniversary with my wife. Things seem to have progressed so well from the point where she discovered my adultery and my sex addiction. With fresh awareness I can say I am blessed f...
Some days.... in Magma
Some are much more rough than others. My mental warfare is in full swing, the thoughts, the desires, the lusting. I hate not being in control of myself. But I must put up the good fight.
Start of day in Magma
Flat tire. Not fun when you have a Toyota Highlander 2009. Missing the part to remove the tire. Had to use my wife’s car. Then noticed other flat tires on cars in the neighborhood. 10 of them...
Far across the moonbeams.. in Magma
I love Neil Young’s music and many songs he’s sung remind me of her. It is on a regular basis her face flashes in my mind and I wonder if she’s ok. I miss her dearly.
Money has been tight lately. Some mornings I go without breakfast in part because I don’t have the time to make it and in part because I have to be at work so early. You would think I might stock...
The office computer system is going through a complete revamp. All new computers, monitors, upgrading an office system that is 27 years old and long overdue. Went from a Filemaker Pro version 5 t...
I'd be lying.... in Magma
If I said I wasn’t happy for you If I didn’t feel just a small bit jealous of him But I can’t strangle you with my what if’s and possibilities. You are a beautiful soul and need to have someone ...
It is going to be a gloomy day on account of this weather. Things to do in the office will have me hustling most of the day and then off to pick up the kids. Need to get to the doctor, not feeli...
all work and no fun in Magma
Makes Him a dull boy. Indeed so I sit here on Saturday morning commencing my half shift of work at the office. Luckily today we will have clients coming in to review some options for a project we...
How many times can you say you’re tired? How many times can you say you tried to wake me up because you were in the mood and I didn’t wake up? How many times do I have to lay there waiting for th...
I look at my wife and remember how much I hunger for her and at the same time remember so many times that she denied me. Even now that I’m out of the haze of my sex addiction, if it was that at a...
To be restless and hungry. To have desire in your heart and yet your well is dry. I might as well smash my bucket .
I’m sick with the stomach flu/achey/headache type thing. This blows.
Lately it seems as if we are going through a drought between us in the bedroom. My intimacy is sparked by interest, namely that the woman I’m with desires me and my own sexuality. Nina doesn’t ex...
With another fresh wave of snow it feels like spring will never come. But we’ve waited winterlong, you seem to be where we belong. Eternally clasped in a cold ice embrace, warmth tumbling from my...
