DE_Da_Bartender ⋅ 40 ⋅
The Moses of DE. I come from a site called Digital Expression, a site that was shut down. So I brought our people here, to stay connected and keep on our individual journeys of writing, expressing and healing.
Even if I'm in last place, I'm still doing better than those that never try.
Entries 59
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Sense of Achievement in Life
I find myself longing for a sense of achievement lately, or accomplishment. A real drive to create something. This is a high that comes and goes, nothing new really but something that I’ve lear...
Tuesday Writings in Life
Tuesday Writings Feb-06/24 (Why did I keep saying Wednesday? Did I do that last week too?) Alright, lets do this, I can do this, I can cut this up, I can talk about emotions vomits uncontrollably...
Highs and Lows - Pt 2 in Life
Without apostrophes, confirmed thanks to Lis. Make sure to go check her out if you have time and are looking for someone else to read. I feel like I’m writing a string of consistent entries here...
Wednesday Writings in Life
Every Wednesday I have an hour in a waiting room while I wait for 5y/o to finish Ballet. Here’s the one from the Wednesday just passed. When it comes to figuring out the key to something, or at...
Highest of the Highs, lowest of the lows in Life
High’s? Low’s? Is there a grammatically need for an apostrophe there? Do the highs own the high? Regardless, I’m all over the map lately, having weeks of feeling the greatest I’ve ever felt and w...
Turning Point in Life
No not the ‘politically’ geared whatever-it-is (Sorry, I’m Canadian) but rather a turning point in my general mood lately. Too often I use this journal as a place to output my negative emotions s...
A New Record in Life
Look at me writing 3 times less than a year, go team! I’m always amazed at how much writing does for my mental health. It’s been a wild and expensive year since my last stint back in July 2022 a...
Every Day is Exactly the Same in Life
Not to tap into my inner edge lord here but there’s a Nine Inch Nails song that recently re-appeared on my mixes on Spotify by the same name as the title of this entry and it’s really tapping int...
Been a Minute in Life
Oh man, it’s been a minute since I wrote here eh? Well there’s a lot that’s changed in a (checks notes) Year and a half? Jesus no wonder I’m in a mental health crisis state. That’s too long to g...
Got a Minute in Life
“I wanna write more” Continues to sit on his phone and ignore the world There’s often times that I find myself picking up my phone purely because of idle hands and little all else. Just a desire...
Anxiety Writing in Life
There’s something about the build up of anxious thoughts that just builds and builds until I’m at a near perma-anxiety attack levels and then I come here and be like “I gotta write!” as though th...
Relationships and Mentoring in Life
Lately I’ve found myself on a new avenue in life. I’ve found that people are starting to respect me and dare I say even like me. This is something that I’m probably being melo-dramatic about (a...
I’ve been struggling with my identity for a long time. That should really come as no surprise to anyone whose read literally any of my entries. But I’m 37 going on 38. And… I gotta say, I don...
Another day another bubble in Life
I’m stuck in this perpetual slow boil of anxiety lately. And I’m not sure if that’s just because of everything that’s going on in my life or if it’s just a mental health issue. Both I suppose b...
The Relevancy of Time in Life
As I continue trudging forward through time I find myself struggling to find relevancy in time. Like… I’m just continually walking forward feeling like the world is falling apart around me in cr...
Old Habits in Life
They just never really go away. They just kinda sit there in waiting to crop up and pop up and go BANG! Or in this case not. Like a rusty gun (I don’t like how these sound like they’re getting ...
A post from Facebook. in Life
I’m not sure how I’m going to go about this but for the past week or so I’ve been quietly observing my use of Social Media and really wondering what, exactly, it’s adding to my life. Or more acc...
It’s been a while, which means there’s been a lot of growth. I find I tend to go silent when I’m in moments of development. I’m not sure if that’s a common trait but I suppose everyone interact...
Yesterdayyy in Life
Seems so very farrr away. So yesterday wasn’t a great day, obviously. I spent most of it in silent brooding while I played with Elly and gave Pam little more than one word answers. She knew som...
How to Proceed in Life
Now I’m gonna preface this with saying that I’m prone to paranoia and this is a broken record entry about Pam and her Cellphone. Yesterday Elly got her vaccinations and they went as well as they ...
Ey! Here we go! Pam and our family have been selected to be part of Phase 2 re-opening. Patio’s are starting to re-open. Daycare is waiting on an inspection from the govt and they’re re-openin...
Another Day in Quarantine in Life
So another weekend has passed, allergies kicked the heck outta me this weekend, or a summer cold. Who knows!? I feel better today but still that groggyness that comes with recovery. Pam and I...
I Don't Even Know in Life
What to write today! Hopefully nothing so dramatic as I feel like that’s all I’ve been writing about for the past little while. I’ve been having very vivid dreams again lately (I wasn’t for a whi...
I'ma Subscriber in Life
I’m not gonna give up (Beyonce anyone?) As we continue to watch American society crumble and head toward Civil War 2 I’ve found my anxiety peaking (Something I imagine a lot of you can relate to)...
Sick & Tired in Life
Of Pam’s Shit! Nah, just playin’ It’s not going to be one of those entrires. Pam and I have really been working on communication lately and I think we’ve adjusted to the ‘new normal’ of the si...
