Entries 414

Page 6 of 17

I watched lovely bones today. I’ve watched the movie a lot as a kid and now it was just too much. I felt too uncomfortable and I lied saying I had to use the bathroom. Instead I just cried, I’m s...

---

I just realized I didnt write about the suicide attempt on a live. Its embarrassing honestly. I don’t want to share it at all. I’m so exhausted. Sorry for being gone so long, I’ve just not been ...

---

I was harassed again. At least I wasnt accused of pedophilia and fetishization. But it had suicide bating this time…thankfully it’s been handled but still hurt. It always hurt, it hurt the first ...

---

John messaged me. I’m on guard. I don’t have time for games. I’m not my past self, I’m not Mari anymore. I have to admit that.

---

I feel bad but sometimes I wonder if it had been better to let Calin die. Helping him just earned me another betrayal after betrayal. Helping everyone just ruined everything. I think about this a...

---

I don’t think I was supposed to hear the conversation. My mother’s fiancee was talking about how he thinks I’ll basically drop out or give up and how I can’t take care of myself. And that my mom ...

---

Two months since the breakup. I managed to class pre calculus for the year. I am working on passing my current classes the hardest I can, I have a big test this week so I want to make sure I get ...

---

I feel empty and broken aside. I’m so tired of everyone. I’m so tired of everything. I’m so empty, I just want to run away. I want to get away forever. I feel sick and alone. I’m all alone. I’m...

---

I pushed them out…

---

I have only college to look forward to. Relationship to good to be true. I dont want bragging or yelling so no more comments. The days go by as a blur. Have to try again to get my license. Everyt...

---

I spoke to Nelson last night. I’m a horrible friend. I woke up sick.and I just want to die. I want to die so bad.

---

I’m ill. Not with covid. I feel sick from everything, just everything. I might vomit soon. But anyway, we gotta get serious. Life is short and the way I’m fucking my body up now it’ll be a lot f...

---

I’m about to go to bed. I’ve been bored all day. Lonely, anxious, bored. Sleeps my only escape. My body my mainframe hurts when I eat. No one will date me or live me romantically. I’m so tired. H...

---

I want him to notice me I’ve been busy but today it came back. The feelings, they hurt me. I wonder if there’s just something wrong with me. I wish we could have normal conversations. He didn’t e...

---

He didnt want the gift. It was a horrible gift anyway who wants a letter for a gift. I cut myself off from any other mental health server owner, after what the few did I dont trust any of the oth...

---

Tiring

---

I woke from crying in my sleep from nightmares and now I just feel exhausted but to scared to sleep. Yesterday was hell.

---

I guess I wanted to talk to him…its stupid

---

I honestly dont like or care for them anymore. I feel defeated and empty.

---

I wrote him a letter as gift. It was stupid gift and he has better things to do then read a stupid letter. With tons of more pretty girls to look at…I saw another today and just curled up in bed ...

---

blows confetti blower today’s the day today’s the day. It’s our one month anniversary ^*^ I have to start on his gift I’m so excited and happy and ahhhhhh.

---

The anticipation of a message is killing me. It’s almost time for our anniversary, one month. I reread our messages over and over analyzing everything I could. I hope he messages today, I won’t ...

---

I woke up today, like yesterday feeling sick and exhausted. But happy at first because maybe he messaged me! But he didn’t…I can wait though. My face was hurting because I smiling so hard at the ...

---

I woke up today feeling dead. It’s like your entire body and mind hurts, it was really hard to deal with. But god fucking damnit I felt so happy! Everything had worked out and I’m never going to...

---

Applied to Penn State today, it feels like a dream I cried during my personal statement…anyway so happy I have been offered a merit scholarship by my first at hood college ^^ Also it’s almost tim...

---