HoniBunnyCakey ⋅ 21 ⋅

I'm a pan girl with some issues and some dreams. I want to be author someday and live a comfortable life with someone.

Entries 411

Page 6 of 17

March 29, 2021

Bug in Journal 2021

John messaged me. I’m on guard. I don’t have time for games. I’m not my past self, I’m not Mari anymore. I have to admit that.


I feel bad but sometimes I wonder if it had been better to let Calin die. Helping him just earned me another betrayal after betrayal. Helping everyone just ruined everything. I think about this a...


March 12, 2021

Truth. in Journal 2021

I don’t think I was supposed to hear the conversation. My mother’s fiancee was talking about how he thinks I’ll basically drop out or give up and how I can’t take care of myself. And that my mom ...


February 25, 2021

Two Months Later in Journal 2021

Two months since the breakup. I managed to class pre calculus for the year. I am working on passing my current classes the hardest I can, I have a big test this week so I want to make sure I get ...


January 31, 2021

Falling apart in Journal 2021

I feel empty and broken aside. I’m so tired of everyone. I’m so tired of everything. I’m so empty, I just want to run away. I want to get away forever. I feel sick and alone. I’m all alone. I’m...


January 18, 2021

Break in Journal 2021

I pushed them out…


January 11, 2021

Mmm in Journal 2021

I have only college to look forward to. Relationship to good to be true. I dont want bragging or yelling so no more comments. The days go by as a blur. Have to try again to get my license. Everyt...


January 06, 2021

Sick in Journal 2021

I spoke to Nelson last night. I’m a horrible friend. I woke up sick.and I just want to die. I want to die so bad.


January 03, 2021

Fucking Sick in Journal 2021

I’m ill. Not with covid. I feel sick from everything, just everything. I might vomit soon. But anyway, we gotta get serious. Life is short and the way I’m fucking my body up now it’ll be a lot f...


January 01, 2021

A new year in Journal 2021

I’m about to go to bed. I’ve been bored all day. Lonely, anxious, bored. Sleeps my only escape. My body my mainframe hurts when I eat. No one will date me or live me romantically. I’m so tired. H...


December 29, 2020

Crush in Journal 2020

I want him to notice me I’ve been busy but today it came back. The feelings, they hurt me. I wonder if there’s just something wrong with me. I wish we could have normal conversations. He didn’t e...


December 28, 2020

Hurt in Journal 2020

He didnt want the gift. It was a horrible gift anyway who wants a letter for a gift. I cut myself off from any other mental health server owner, after what the few did I dont trust any of the oth...


December 28, 2020

Yesterday. in Journal 2020

Tiring


December 27, 2020

Today. in Journal 2020

I woke from crying in my sleep from nightmares and now I just feel exhausted but to scared to sleep. Yesterday was hell.


December 26, 2020

Christmas together... in Journal 2020

I guess I wanted to talk to him…its stupid


December 25, 2020

Holidays in Journal 2020

I honestly dont like or care for them anymore. I feel defeated and empty.


December 24, 2020

anniversary in Journal 2020

I wrote him a letter as gift. It was stupid gift and he has better things to do then read a stupid letter. With tons of more pretty girls to look at…I saw another today and just curled up in bed ...


December 22, 2020

ANNIVERSARY in Journal 2020

blows confetti blower today’s the day today’s the day. It’s our one month anniversary ^*^ I have to start on his gift I’m so excited and happy and ahhhhhh.


December 22, 2020

Update in Journal 2020

The anticipation of a message is killing me. It’s almost time for our anniversary, one month. I reread our messages over and over analyzing everything I could. I hope he messages today, I won’t ...


December 21, 2020

Hearrt in Journal 2020

I woke up today, like yesterday feeling sick and exhausted. But happy at first because maybe he messaged me! But he didn’t…I can wait though. My face was hurting because I smiling so hard at the ...


December 21, 2020

The night before in Journal 2020

I woke up today feeling dead. It’s like your entire body and mind hurts, it was really hard to deal with. But god fucking damnit I felt so happy! Everything had worked out and I’m never going to...


December 21, 2020

Thoughts in Journal 2020

Applied to Penn State today, it feels like a dream I cried during my personal statement…anyway so happy I have been offered a merit scholarship by my first at hood college ^^ Also it’s almost tim...


December 20, 2020

Update in Journal 2020

So much happened this week ;-; I argued with so many random people.


December 17, 2020

Gifts in Journal 2020

Is it weird to try and write poetry for xmas gifts? Idk…I want to write him love poems, ballads???? But I can’t sing…


December 15, 2020

Sad in Journal 2020

I feel exhausted and sad. I just want to be happy again with everyone and have a good life. But it’s always my fault…I just…want to end it.


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