Entries 410

Page 4 of 17

This is just a notice that I’m still here, so much has been going on.

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I’ve been having a good time with Joseph. Currently doing my laundry today while watching a video about people reading stranger’s diaries and their own from middle school. Honestly if someone rea...

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I feel happy with Joseph. He’s so patient. Recently he shared his sexual fantasies and I admittedly don’t see many of them happening. But he didn’t mind that and instead comforted me and talked a...

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I remember when my great grandmother died. I was living in another part of thestateat the time, going to a early college middle school. That year I had no friends, it was a nice school but I had ...

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It’s a good relationship so far even tho it’s days old dating wise. He’s so kind and talks about communication and how we shouldn’t rush sexual things until I feel safe and can actually give cons...

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Today or well Sunday was slow. I laid in bed alot thinking about things. I’ve kept true to my word and left Joseph alone. I’ll only contact him when he contacts me, because I feel like he needs t...

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Joseph is so fragile right now, it makes me angry at the people that did this. In the past, I’ve written that I needed to tet help for these urges and thoughts. But, Joseph is so hurt by those pe...

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I don’t get why I always get such awful comments about how I want to treat my own body. It’s so random at times, it makes me feel sad and doubt myself but I remind myself that this is me and this...

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I am mentally unstable but stably responsible. I guess sometimes I feel worried how ill be perceived through this diary. But sometimes I feel like it won’t matter. For now, I’m just focused on w...

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Today was quiet. A page I’ve interacted with alot thanked me for being so nice to them. I felt, happy but also sad. Because am I really a nice person? Or just a pretender. Sometimes you find your...

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I thought about something depressing, it’s sad and a bit fucked up. If I had a son I think I’d be scared and abort them. I would feel like I’d be a failure of a mother being scared of men and h...

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It was nice to have one normal year in this chronicle of diaries. Today was calm, I watched some reactions to Euphoria. That was hard with headphones on and a phone nearby…note I never EVER put ...

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I haven’t cut in years, that’s fucking crazy. It was 2021 I think I posted about it here and now I’m here missing it. I was gonna go out like a nutcase I suppose, with hundreds watching. It just ...

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Lying my ass off in therapy, don’t know why she brought up a political issue during it. I’m so annoyed with that. My head is banging. I cried alot today, emotionally spent. Quite literally just g...

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My friend “died” a few months ago. I felt bad but I never bothered to say anything on the post made about it. Death is only relative, it’s only temporary. We are in a world that’s temporary. But ...

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So. Joseph is into me. He knew I had a crush and I don’t know what our relationship is anymore. I felt sick but thrilled? And mistreated to the idea and then felt sicker and that I was going to p...

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I feel like I’m dying. I keep seeing things, feeling things. I’m growing worried but I have to stay strong. In a dying world one must be reborn. Is this what rebirth is meant to feel like? Who kn...

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This is something I’ve debated for awhile. I truly wish I had started started my diary earlier at age 15 so we could see if my theory is correct. I have pondered for awhile if I have BPD or some...

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so…a lot has happened. wanted to write sooner but I’m rushing this computer will die soon! my college sent an email dismissing me, but I appealed. it was more so a threat but my advisor said I’m ...

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At 21, the decision if I live or if I die will be made. this kinda hit me like a train at 16, 17 saying this felt like I had a century to choose. a century before college ended and I was basical...

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I’m gonna turn on Spotify pretty soon and listen to some of woo!ah!’s album but I was restless today, I needed to get an entry out. That fire to write has returned and honestly, I kind of have a ...

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I found more from December of 2019 and others. It hurts and burns but I feel like it’s good to see this right now. I made progress since then but I’m still clearly I’m a broken person. Dear Rua Y...

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I wrote this December, 18th, 2019 and I felt so sad seeing all these old letters and notes I wrote to myself in pain, suffering, crying, dying inside due to abuse. Dear Will Your words showed me ...

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Oh my goodness Kep1er my babies are about to dominate the kpop scene! Anyway, Merry Christmas or happy holidays to everyone. Guests are over so I can’t really leave my room so I’m bored typing aw...

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Almost time to start a new journal for 2022. It’s crazy how fast time has gone by and how much my life has changed. The collab on youtube for the secret Santa event was so much fun, it felt nice ...

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