Entries 411

Page 4 of 17

I feel odd, everyone seems to suddenly be so worried about my safety, so worried about my health. And I just feel like, wow this would have been needed months ago. I don’t like telling people J’...

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This is just a notice that I’m still here, so much has been going on.

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I’ve been having a good time with Joseph. Currently doing my laundry today while watching a video about people reading stranger’s diaries and their own from middle school. Honestly if someone rea...

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I feel happy with Joseph. He’s so patient. Recently he shared his sexual fantasies and I admittedly don’t see many of them happening. But he didn’t mind that and instead comforted me and talked a...

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I remember when my great grandmother died. I was living in another part of thestateat the time, going to a early college middle school. That year I had no friends, it was a nice school but I had ...

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It’s a good relationship so far even tho it’s days old dating wise. He’s so kind and talks about communication and how we shouldn’t rush sexual things until I feel safe and can actually give cons...

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Today or well Sunday was slow. I laid in bed alot thinking about things. I’ve kept true to my word and left Joseph alone. I’ll only contact him when he contacts me, because I feel like he needs t...

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Joseph is so fragile right now, it makes me angry at the people that did this. In the past, I’ve written that I needed to tet help for these urges and thoughts. But, Joseph is so hurt by those pe...

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I don’t get why I always get such awful comments about how I want to treat my own body. It’s so random at times, it makes me feel sad and doubt myself but I remind myself that this is me and this...

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I am mentally unstable but stably responsible. I guess sometimes I feel worried how ill be perceived through this diary. But sometimes I feel like it won’t matter. For now, I’m just focused on w...

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Today was quiet. A page I’ve interacted with alot thanked me for being so nice to them. I felt, happy but also sad. Because am I really a nice person? Or just a pretender. Sometimes you find your...

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I thought about something depressing, it’s sad and a bit fucked up. If I had a son I think I’d be scared and abort them. I would feel like I’d be a failure of a mother being scared of men and h...

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It was nice to have one normal year in this chronicle of diaries. Today was calm, I watched some reactions to Euphoria. That was hard with headphones on and a phone nearby…note I never EVER put ...

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I haven’t cut in years, that’s fucking crazy. It was 2021 I think I posted about it here and now I’m here missing it. I was gonna go out like a nutcase I suppose, with hundreds watching. It just ...

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Lying my ass off in therapy, don’t know why she brought up a political issue during it. I’m so annoyed with that. My head is banging. I cried alot today, emotionally spent. Quite literally just g...

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My friend “died” a few months ago. I felt bad but I never bothered to say anything on the post made about it. Death is only relative, it’s only temporary. We are in a world that’s temporary. But ...

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So. Joseph is into me. He knew I had a crush and I don’t know what our relationship is anymore. I felt sick but thrilled? And mistreated to the idea and then felt sicker and that I was going to p...

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I feel like I’m dying. I keep seeing things, feeling things. I’m growing worried but I have to stay strong. In a dying world one must be reborn. Is this what rebirth is meant to feel like? Who kn...

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This is something I’ve debated for awhile. I truly wish I had started started my diary earlier at age 15 so we could see if my theory is correct. I have pondered for awhile if I have BPD or some...

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so…a lot has happened. wanted to write sooner but I’m rushing this computer will die soon! my college sent an email dismissing me, but I appealed. it was more so a threat but my advisor said I’m ...

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At 21, the decision if I live or if I die will be made. this kinda hit me like a train at 16, 17 saying this felt like I had a century to choose. a century before college ended and I was basical...

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I’m gonna turn on Spotify pretty soon and listen to some of woo!ah!’s album but I was restless today, I needed to get an entry out. That fire to write has returned and honestly, I kind of have a ...

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I found more from December of 2019 and others. It hurts and burns but I feel like it’s good to see this right now. I made progress since then but I’m still clearly I’m a broken person. Dear Rua Y...

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I wrote this December, 18th, 2019 and I felt so sad seeing all these old letters and notes I wrote to myself in pain, suffering, crying, dying inside due to abuse. Dear Will Your words showed me ...

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Oh my goodness Kep1er my babies are about to dominate the kpop scene! Anyway, Merry Christmas or happy holidays to everyone. Guests are over so I can’t really leave my room so I’m bored typing aw...

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