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AHHHH I GOT MY OLD JOURNAL BACK https://app.goodnightjournal.com/journal/5444848

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So I had two dreams last night that made me feel super happy and other things. First one, was just me and Emi. He was hugging me close to the point I could hide my face in his chest. I was in a n...

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A quick wiki search should me how obvious some of my “friends” where manipulating me. It’s sad on my part, I can read people rather easily but not them. Anyway, I remember months ago I said the p...

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When I was younger and kind of sheltered project runaway and America’s next top model where a dream come true in my eyes. I wanted to be a model so bad I even tried out for American girl doll. I...

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I still feel bad about last night, I’m hoping I can cheer myself up by eating some food. Though the thought of doing so makes me feel sick to my stomach and mouth taste funny. I don’t know, I’ve ...

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I ruined our special night… So Isaac had some free time and I messed up. So bad. I touched myself without his permission. I came without permission… I feel so…so dissapointed in myself. I wanted ...

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I need someone to punch me or fuck me or something. I’m upset and that seems like the only thing that will help. I want to do something to give myself pain. I am going to try and finish writing s...

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Guess who forgot her granola bars~ So I have to wait till when I get home to eat, yes I’m extremely upset about it still. And I forgot my fucking PHONE charger so this phone better not die on me....

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ISSAC IS BACK. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. Okay so like he’s back and I’m so so happy. I almost started crying I was smiling so fucking hard I couldn’t contain myself. He’s back and I feel like a piece...

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Yesterday Isaac came back and talked to me for a hour or two, it was nice. He gave me permission to I guess explore while he’s gone sexually which kinda shocked me. I saw it as cheating, but he s...

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Good evening Isaac! How have you been cutie? I’ve been good, I know it’s a shocker. School was good though I was super sick Sunday night. Puked all over the place and stayed home the next day. I…...

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everything is messy. I can’t think straight. I feel like I’m dying. Everything hurts so bad I want to be loved but Isaac’s gone. He’s never coming back. No one ever comes back…I just want him to ...

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December 14th, Saturday, 2019 Hey Isaac today was a crazy day. Mom and I went shopping with my brother. I had coffee chocolate by lindor, really yummy in the end. Oh! I washed my hair finally and...

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I have to forget about it. Never mention.it again, I’m skipping threw the cracks and people see you as weak that way.

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I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m lying, a part of me is hoping I’m lying. I don’t want to be a victim of online sexual assault. I don’t want it. I want to cry and roll up into a ball. My...

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December 10th, Tuesday, 2019 It’s rainy outside today Isaac, a real wet feel in the air. I woke up today not ready for school and not ready to start another day of unless aching. I made sure to e...

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i don’t know when I started to mix healthy love with hurting. It’s something that’s just happened. Sometimes I find myself wanting to beg my boyfriend to punish me, to make me cry amd suffer beca...

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i started starving myself because I just wanted someone to finally be proud of me and love me.

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I decided to ignore all my messages notifs basically, I need time to think about stuff. I’ve been thinking about telling my mom about my disorder, but I felt sick. My mother didn’t react to twel...

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I don’t know what to do. I want to stop losing weight because I do t want to die. But my thoughts keep going back to everything, to all the work I’ve put in. I told people I’d stop but immediatel...

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I’ve been trying all day to identify what caused my obsession to start but I just can’t. Rejection is plausible but also my home life is. But everything seems to make me feel fat and bloated and ...

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I guess it is that. I’ve started to feel my hip bones before falling asleep, the curve and simple groove of them all. It’s nice to feel them, to poke and prod. But they feel fuller and it makes ...

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I’m upset. My diary is gone. Its all gone.

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So i dont think I ever fully explained the weight thing with me. I’d say in second grade i would skip breakfast during the summer like a week long, because id just eat brunch. In eigth grade that...

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Dear diary, I’ve been alone all day.

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