cocatina
Entries 182
Page 2 of 8
It sucks. I didn’t mean to be that way. I ruined the chance of having a friend I would have really enjoyed keeping. Then again. I’m nothing anyway.
Fantasizing in Void
All that I’ll miss: Music Film I don’t know what will happen with me from this point. I know what I need to do but I don’t know how much opportunity I have to actually get started right now. I ca...
Disappointment. in Void
I was doing okay. Financially. I can’t work with people anymore. I don’t know how I got triggered so bad. I tried not letting certain things bother me, knowing I’ll always have those moments when...
I shouldn’t be here. in Void
I could have been tough and stayed and dealt with the toxicity to not be lonely. I could have been tough and stayed and dealt with the paranoia to have money. My mind is so messed up now. I don’...
October 18 in Van Life Diary
I couldn’t go back to work. I left to get historic plates.... I never went back. It was too much being with him still. I feel bad, sad, and wish things worked out well, but I know I didn’t like ...
I really destroyed myself. I don’t know what I’ll do with myself but at least I’ know I’ll die after finally staying away from the person that made the biggest impact on every aspect of myself, m...
Something’s Messing With Me! in Void
I don’t know how the paranoia got so strong. It’s Wednesday and I feel that this week has been so slow for me. Every day this week that I’ve been at work has been more than my usual “everyone is ...
It can be scary. in Van Life Diary
Only because I took up a job that is not only at a lower wage (not minimum wage) than the work I had for the past few years but it’s also part time; I don’t have a van in better condition and wil...
#vanlife in Van Life Diary
I just thought to post about it on here. Now that I’m all alone again, finally; phew. I’m already getting back on track with my success in life. I’m freezing my toes off this morning though. Sho...
Just let me suceed! in Resilience
I know I could have better luck with my car. Ive learned my lesson! Let me get away from this horrible environment NOW!
I feel cute today in Resilience
I know what’s going on. I can only blame myself for getting myself in this situation… again. I know for sure now though. It’s just me. Soon enough I’ll be back to being me and having only me. Ha...
I feel cute today in Resilience
I know what’s going on. I can only blame myself for getting myself in this situation… again. I know for sure now though. It’s just me. Soon enough I’ll be back to being me and having only me. Ha...
I Have a Job Offer in Resilience
It’s not a self-employment gig so I have a lot of hope for this. If I had enough money or could have borrow money from someone, I could have been starting in a few days but I have to wait another...
I Need to Meditate For Myself in Void
I finally stopped talking to him. I think the void I’m feeling has helped. I can’t tell what void/realm energy I was feeling was but I haven’t felt it recently. Maybe it was the medication. Yeah...
I Need A Plan in Void
I’ve become nothing. I don’t want to try anymore. I need to figure out how I can finally disappear into this void energy that’s chasing me.
Numbness of Nothing in Void
I don’t want to be bothered with him anymore. I’m finally away from him, physically. My mind was already drifting away and that connection between us is still fading. All I sense is a dark heavy ...
It's Not Just Another Realm in Sober
I feel that I’m a different person every week now. Of course, my mental illness has gotten worse. My current diagnosis makes that obvious. But I mean, it’s worse from my teenage mental progressio...
I feel like shit right now. I wish I knew when/if something is a good idea or not. I wish there was a specific purpose I have in life and I wish I could know what it is. I’m not asking for these...
Give Me Suggestions in Resilience
What’s a good new career to start? Consider this, I’m starting a new life. I have nothing. I don’t even have my car anymore. I’m even texting from a Metro PCS Android. throws up…
Bye bye bye in Sober
It’s been a month and 2 days since I left… Again… Finally. It’s final. So much more fucked up shit. He was getting high with his dad… There’s so much that came with that.... I’m away from him in ...
I may not be for long. I let shit get out of hand. To the point that I don’t have my car anymore. Ugh…
Exactly a year in Come Down
A year from when I first saw his texts to her. The day I got evidence of it all…
Second thoughts in Come Down
Here it goes again. Maybe it was really that your guilt made you lie that you want me because you don’t and have been getting pleasure from someone else…
I’m not vulnerable in Come Down
Anymore… Those many times you rejected me. Especially when you’d be going on a flight to your lovely place, or a night I didn’t stay over, you’d go get high and satisfy your dirty desires with so...
Give me a good job again. I won’t let anyone take that away from me again. I just want to go back to being happy with myself and taking care of myself again. Today marks the first day I ruined th...
