cocatina
Entries 182
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Sad & Solo in Working Again
I am glad I have a welding job now. I like that I’m making my own money again and the pay isn’t too bad. I’m able to take care of myself and that is good enough for me. I try not to journal about...
Disparity in Brand New Me
I sit here quietly every day, not ever talking. Maybe THAT is why y’all feel the way you do. “Don’t get in grown folks’ business” or being scolded when something is said wrong or not done in the...
I don't want this in Void
I don’t want anything in life anymore.... I don’t want to try. I don’t care what I might like, or use to. I don’t want to try anything new. I don’t care to be the best me anymore.... I just know ...
Ads Now? I'm Changing Too. in Brand New Me
as always… I’m always looking forward to getting out of the messes I get myself in… I’ll be doing (working) fast food for the first time starting this Monday, in two days. I don’t think too far ...
The Worse Perfect Life in Brand New Me
I love him so much. It’s all great when we can laugh and joke and just have conversation and be silly or serious. I’m very attracted to his looks. The sex gets better. For a while I haven’t real...
My Review for Salvation Army in Wilmington in Brand New Me
I like to do stuff. The work itself I don’t mind at all. There are different departments of the warehouse and I was able to experience work in some parts of it. Sort clothes. Hang clothes. Load ...
Not sure but I'll stay. in Brand New Me
I keep wondering if I should even continue to post here. I see potential in this site so I wanna see how well it develops in a few years. So I got fired. Yes, I messed up but it’s not something t...
Oh! He's here! in Brand New Me
I haven’t been on here. As always right? Well. He’s out. He has been for a while now. Maybe 3 weeks now. We met up. We finally did x rated stuff. And I just effing love him. We are just… the best...
Rare in Brand New Me
I’m not going to post much. I haven’t even been writing in my diary every day anymore. Mainly because I’m not in that place anymore and I have access to my phone and the internet and stuff. Plus ...
Courtesy in Brand New Me
I figured I would check in. Things has been hectic but fine. Only hectic because of me and him He left. I don’t know if I mentioned that already. But we have been keeping in touch. Well he’s been...
I just need to be patient or in Brand New Me
it’s all over now… I will cry about this later
Morning Anxiety in Brand New Me
I decided to write. I got encouraged by a staff member here. I looked back on a piece of a poem I started and I work on it a bit more. I’m happy with it. I’m going to post it here before I give h...
Smiles and Waves in Brand New Me
He sat diagonal to me at lunch today. That’s a big deal. No stress on us right now. YAY! Each moment I saw him today he smiled at me first heart. He waved at me as I walked by during morning devo...
He "didn't get angry today" in Brand New Me
Which is what he was thankful for today. I guess I make a huge difference for him. I gave him a Jolly Rancher bandana during lunch today and it matches his button-up. And I don’t think he had tha...
Distraction and In The Way in Brand New Me
I’m a distraction or in the way. That’s how I feel when I try to hang out and socialize so I stayed away or been really terse and impassive. I felt bad when I saw him at lunch so I decided to wri...
Saudade in Brand New Me
This is all that mattered for me today: A smile to and from him with the mutuality of missing each other. Him: “Looks like you wanna say something.” Me: “I do. I do.” Him: I think he was tellin...
Smile in Brand New Me
I smiled a decent amount of times today. Still feel dissociated but I felt good today. We waved at each other today. A cute “trying to be discreet” wave. SMH. I miss him so much.
Levitate in Brand New Me
“You can levitate with just a little help” Today was decent for me. I started to feel a little better after lunch. (cigarette) At the end of my workday, as I was walking by, he whistled at me fro...
I can't stand this feeling in Void
There is so much going on with my mind right now. I want to write it all out. I want to speak it all out to someone. I don’t know if I’ll even be able to do that effectively. I really need help r...
Fire in Brand New Me
Last night we had a Friday night house activity. Pizza and fire. S’mores was included but I didn’t get any. Before dark, I sat out there with Mr. Major (and two others) right after he started the...
Reassurance in Brand New Me
I spoke with my counselor. I called the place again to schedule an appointment and it kept going to voicemail. I couldn’t take it anymore and had to go down to see if she was available. I had to ...
Disrespect and Vengeful in Brand New Me
Over nothing. Okay, so he* came back yesterday. I’m glad he’s taking care of himself. So yesterday some “lady” said some crap to my supervisor about me that wasn’t even my duty. She thinks I’m o...
Oh No! in Brand New Me
So I don’t really know what was up but he went to the hospital. I’m guessing he really wants to get better because I’m sure (just like me) he didn’t care to be on medication. Maybe he initially w...
Severe Anxiety in Resilience
Anxiety has really hit me hard today. It’s been floating in me all day. I guess that proves I need to be on medication to not feel this way. Welp I got some good news today while at work about wo...
New Life in Resilience
I could say it’s just a new chapter but this is really different. I’m a much better person. I mean I’m a “different” person now and I’m loving it so far. I’m becoming someone I probably wished to...
