Entries 72
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741741 suicide text line
So I used the text line on Friday. I was feeling down not really suicidal but just needed to vent so I wouldn’t cut. Spent about 45 minutes texting someone and getting shit out brought my anxiety...
Another trigger warning
Since I cut last night I really want to do it again tonight. The relief and pain bring me back down from what is going on in my head. But im not going cut tonight. Im not In the frantic state I w...
Trigger warning
Cut tonight. First time in almost 2 years. For whatever reason I just started to freak out and get too much into my thoughts. I tried to avoid cutting by slamming my wrist in the wall a few tim...
Ugh depression is starting to set in
Days are shorter now. And we have been having grey cloudy days all I want to do is sleep. And that is pretty much what I have been doing lately. I know things will get better when I move into t...
The 29th almost here.
20 years. This night the 28th as mom was bringing me food at the psych ward. She was going over the big bridge before getting to the hospital when she got a call on her cell phone saying her dad...
Went to the cemetery today
Went and brought roses to my pepere today. Knowing that I will mostly likely be drunk on the 29th. Had a good cry while there. 20 years later it still hurts that I wasn’t there at the hospital w...
20 years ago
20 years ago I was transferred from Massachusetts psych ward to a new Hampshire hospital. Yesterday was my nephews last horse show till next year. I don’t plan on ever having kids out of my wo...
Made it thru the 9th
Survived the 9th. 20 years ago the start of my first hospitalization. It lasted almost 6 weeks. The next big hurdle will be the 29th my pepere/grandpa passed away and I was the only grandchild n...
Wednesday is going to suck.
Wednesday is coming quickly. The 9th is horrible but the 29th will be worse. I managed to get threw my bad night with no injuries. A great friend called me at 2am after I sent her a text about...
Having a much better night
Ended up eating junk food last night or should I say 3am. My best friend called me after I sent a text. I had already gotten out of the I want to cut head space but we talked for 30 minutes. She...
Feeling better
Ate some junk food and talked to a close friend who understands the urge. She will be calling me in about 6 hours. I’m not suicidal what so ever. Cutting just makes things better. But I didn’t do...
Cutting issue September
September sucks for me. The 9th 20 years ago I was hospitalized for cutting my wrists. Spent almost 6 weeks in a psych ward. My pepere/grandfather died and I was the only grandchild to not attend...
New outlets
Instead of cutting I have moved on to slamming the back of my wrist against a hard surface. The back of my hand and wrist are all kinds of different colors at the moment. The drinking is the sam...
Sober would be nice
https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=mkdF3z57lQI
Staying at our camp
So I temporarily moved into our. Family camp/ cabin. Fullly functional for year round use. Only 5 miles from the house and horses. I. Can still go every 5 days and refill water tanks and put Hay ...
Shit
So I have been struggling lately as of Monday last week my oldest brother was in congestive heart failure I personally was hoping he would fucking die he ruined my childhood and I still hate him ...
Bad
I know things are getting bad when I order exactlyI know things are getting bad when I order X-Acto knife’s online. I don’t want to kill myself just cut
Ugh
Having a bad night. Trying to get shit done around the barn before winter hits. Was planning on spreading manure on the pasture tomorrow that’s not going to happen. Apparently the riding lawnmowe...
Not fun
Having issues with trying to get sober. After the first day I start hear noises in my room sounds like mice chewing stuff around me. I turn on this YouTube video of so called sonic noises and run...
Ugh
I want to cut so badly at the moment.
New puppy
We have a new puppy in the house. Her name is cookie she is a chocolate lab. Just turned 8 weeks old she’s my nephew tramaynes new dog. My dog a soon to be 4 year old great dane has done well wit...
Drunk
My FB might look good but for the most part I am fucked up. 2 day and and I finished off a bottle of bicardi 151 proof rum. Along with some 100 proof vodka. Really haven’t slept since Tuesday mo...
Puppy and flowers
Thursday my family will be going to visit our new puppy she is only 3 week’s old a chocolate lab. It’s going to be my nephews dog. He will be responsible for pretty much everything. My parents an...
Yup
Definitely going to be heading to florida this coming winter for 5 months. So sick and tired of the cold and snow.
OD information
Im PridesAFiorDiLAbbra on OD. And can be reached at https://www.facebook.com/794062785
Book Description
Trying to stay sober.
