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I took a look in the want ads, been unemployed for too long people needed to do things involving multiple dongs I didn’t know what the ad meant, I guess I’m boring in bed I went onto Yaho...

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[HOOK:] I bought a latex mask you’re dressed like Polly Pocket I - I - I’m greeting some trick-or-treaters Halloween is awesome I walk into the party, like, “What up? I’m Mr. Spock!...

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c-c-creature, stop this killing creature, can’t you see? it draws attention to your pool maybe you should just lay low and let your legend grow creature, show some pity for ...

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can’t you feel it growin’… in your nose maybe it’s a symptom of the flu feelin’ crappy, feelin’ bad oh, we got to let the mucus flow what the people need is a good expectorant ...

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you say "wow, a talking bag"but you'll find out that I'm not that baddon't worry, I'm Flappywhen it seems like nothing's looking upI'll be there with Snack-Pack pudding cupsdon't worry, I'm Flapp...

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why you tryin' to break outta this prison? don't you know it's Shawshank? so first, being in jail is the worstcan't you understand this was not his plan, goddamnnear everyone in the cansays ...

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trust fund babies, they live in Williamsburg trust fund babies, they're worse than you had heard when you see assholes in trucker hats atop ironic hair you know they're rich folks trying h...

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wouldn't it be nice if we were younger and we didnt have to pay these bills spending all our days chasing our dreams spending all our nights on good cheap thrills brooding will not make ...

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today is gonna be the day I'm having bladder surgery by now you should've somehow known you're changing bedpans for me I don't believe that anybody could put on my shoes except you know th...

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Cosby used/to be funny before everything he said became a lecture when young he was bawdy too has he gone senile or is that just conjecture? but Coz never gave us reasons to eat Jell-O ...

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(this one's sort of a local in-joke) with Dion here's how it will be he'll play two songs or maybe three cuz he's the saxman yeah I'm the saxman should your music require a horn that's...

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I want you to haunt me I need you in bedsheets just phone in with moaning I'm hoping you'll possess me I want you to haunt me I need you in bedsheets just phone in with moaning I'd nev...

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I was a fool to ever lose the flame me minus fire is feeling really lame the jailtime I had has made me lonesome and sad I realize I love char cuz I want it so bad, hey, hey spent the ev...

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picture yourself as a big fucking robot that turns into cars when it wants to hide somebody sees you, you shapeshift quite loudly and all in sub-par C.G.I. Shia LeBoeuf stars with Megan Fox...

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hey little sister where's your helmet? hey little sister bought your flux yet? hey little sister brought all your tools? hey little sister what's the gas you use? hey little sister tungsten! ...

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you remind me of the bulge what bulge? the bulge in the pants what pants? the pants of real huge who's huge? he's huge his what? his bulge is really huge I saw this movie it was about Bo...

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butterfly on your thigh I can go twice as high that word, look it's in that book it's cunnilingus let me go anywhere take this trip I'll read your lips it's cunnilingus let's make u...

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Rasputin's makin' plans... and you know he's a mad mad monk keeping them out of world war one by bringing home the funk they tried stabbing him fifteen times from behind he just laughed, said ...

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heading downtown for the open mic hoping to hear some songs that I'll like hoping for a couple tunes to make me feel alright I rolled into the place a little bit before eight to the sound of ...

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in the Fight Club... in an undis... closed lo...cation shirtless weirdoes... punch each other... in the faces but they're hugging... after getting... all those black eyes dawn's light comes......

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meet Hamid who runs Afghanistan according to C-I-A plans but Mahmood runs the Kabul banks that purchase all the army tanks what a crazy pair! but they're Karzais American puppets, all the...

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World of Warcraft, my old friend here I am playing you again because levels require grinding secret treasures require finding soon the trials will reveal their just reward a plus-four sword ...

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I'm only happy when there's brains I'm only happy when it's me who ate it the only way that I am satiated I'm only happy when there's brains you know I love the stuff inside your head the on...

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I read "Great Expectations" this is my book report watched the movie, no reading old wedding cake full of giant rats breeding this is my book report I read "Great Expectations" this is my...

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doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo... in my cer-e-al bowl it's sweet cuz... the grahams they... are golden there's Trix for you... and there's Trix for me Raisin Bran, better without raisins spoon...

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