Entries 146
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to the tune of That's Amore (2)
When its onion rings tossed in a fattening sauce, that’s Fieri. When a fried butter bomb makes you just wanna vom, that’s Fieri. Spice will be kicked-on-up-a-notch, kicked-on-u...
tune of MANIC DEPRESSION
passive-aggression… no, don’t get up I’ll just go do it, you just have to know… I’ll put my back out doing it I know, you’re napping you’ve slept in all day, all ...
tune of YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' YET
I went down to McDonalds about ten-thirty-five I was barely just awake then I was barely just alive you know the best stuff there is the breakfast so I drove up to the mic ...
tune of Ring of Fire
teeth are expensive things debt is what a dentist brings my finances dire pulled my teeth with some rusty pliers pulled my teeth with a pair of rusty pliers and I went ble...
TUNE OF BIG ME
when you undercook it it carries bugs in its bloody goo when you leave it tepid tapeworms can linger in the stew raw meat can spread diseases it can mak...
tune of MARY JANE'S LAST DANCE
he grew up in a small Midwestern town Earth’s yellow sun made him the strongest one around but his superpower was his super-hex cuz he’d kill a normal girl if they tried to have ...
tune of THE SWEATER SONG
Don-a tell-o Le-o nard-o Raph-a el Mich el-an gel-o if you want to destroy the Shredder take his mask and then punch away He-roes in-a half-she...
tune of ON A PLAIN
I’ll start this off with one little fact capital’s Augusta, it isn’t Portland tall pine trees, a hell of view there’s not much else but what can you do? the finest day that I ...
tune of THE DOPE SHOW
some for fishing and some just for sailing shiny rudders and without down payments everything looks good when it’s up on pavement here today, all under the big tent w...
tune of When A Man Loves A Woman
when a man loves a wolfman, he must know the phases of the moon lest one night he ends up mauled by a hound keep them on hand, silver bullets… and maybe wolfsbane because some day you might hav...
tune of She Don't Use Jelly
I know a guy who was in shows if you would pay him then he would go the scripts were awful the money was green he’d make strange faces and act real mean his name’s John Carradine Carradine [x2]...
to the tune of Take The Money And Run
This here’s a story about Bobbie Sue and Billy Joe Two archeologists outside of Cairo Got real sick of their salaries being so low And here is what happened so as to make their a...
tune of TINY DANCER
was a Misfit, then he just quit, started playing as Samhain some more spats, after that, got a band with just his name would have been… Wolverine… had X-Men filmed in Ninety-Three seen with fre...
honest Santa Baby
Santa baby, I hope that your list involves some checks… for sex because I’ll put out for gifts, Santa baby then enter my vagina tonight! Santa baby, transactional in-ter-course is fin...
to the tune of Allentown
Billy Joel once heard of Allentown while one of his chauffeurs drove him around his accountant needed some more hits that thirteenth yacht was a money pit well Billy Joel was known to all hi...
internet do-re-mi
“Doe”, a stupid form of “Though” ”Bae”, ”Baby” as said by jerks “Meh”, it connotates malaise “Fie”, I say on all who twerk “Lol” pronounced as one word sucks “Bleh” is basical...
to the tune of My Favorite Things
the addams family’s five-digit buddy the one in the arctic who made it all bloody the kid who became rocks by smashing his rings these are a few of my favorite things the blue haire...
to the tune of HEAD LIKE A HOLE
(just wanted to note, this was at the request of proseboxer convoyeur… hi, Rose!) goddammit I’ve lost feeling in my hands goddammit in Florida they can’t understand goddammit what the hell, t...
to the tune of UNBELIEVABLE
they reject my applications for even making fries I’m sending all my resumes out and get only stock replies I wonder if it’s my long hairstyle or my huge employm...
to the tune of NIGHT MOVES
I was a little too fat couldn’t fit in plate mail too clumsy for a mace on a flail it was like a LARP in front of tourists’ eyes and it all was enhanced by...
to the tune of JOLENE
Jor-El, Jor-El, Jor-El, Jor-El I’m begging you put Kal-El in the ship Jor-El, Jor-El, Jor-El, Jor-El Krypton’s gonna explode pretty quick we all are doomed by Brainiac or maybe by...
to the tune of SABOTAGE
yeeeeeeeees Virginia, he’ll come this winter he’ll make you all believe, this Christmas Eve he’ll stuff your stocking with some craft beer but the man sees all, you should live in fe...
to the tune of SUGAR MOUNTAIN
oh to live on cougar mountain leopard-print pants and over-tanned boobs they like ‘em twenty on cougar mountain I’m too old for them but maybe not you but hey maybe not you ...
to the tune of BLISTER IN THE SUN
up at the North Pole on Christmas Eve… reindeer are so stressed out one of the team, sick of the scene, whips a pistol out everyone run… don’t you know Blitzen’s got a gun everyone run… Santa i...
to the tune of STACY'S MOM
Jason’s mom is gonna kill us all (X4) Jason never was very good at school most likely to drown out in the pool she should have never let him go to camp but she’s gonna cancel us...
Book Description
I’m also a frustrated musician
with no instrumental talent and
about an octave and a half of vocal range
still sometimes I soldier on
and write comedy parodies of popular songs
and sing them a capella at open mic nights
this will be a collection of first drafts
of those projects
