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If you MUST name your private bits at least use names traditional to another physical gender. Name your bosoms Biff & Steve. Name your penis Lillian. Name your clitoris Trevor. ...

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One can only hope that whenever the crap finally melts away there will be fertile soil for the coming spring beneath. May the terror you feel now bring apples bring wheat bring silag...

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There are two dogs in each of us. One is a pug that tries to do people things. Post pictures of him to tumblr & wait for your TV deal. There are two dogs in each of us. One of them only e...

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The glass is not empty. The glass is full of air. LEARN TO DRINK AIR. A million monkeys on a million typewriters given enough time will accidentally write the lifetime works of William S...

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yeah yeah yeah stare into the abyss too long the abyss might stare back sure that’s a step in the process but come on let’s face it that’s some first-level shit instead stay with it challe...

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the pursuit of fame is a bug-zapper’s game sucking in those who might bring the world change corrupting a few while killing off rest of the range it might seem tragic and it might seem s...

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this is my favourite story about me that I was not present for ever my friends Ilio and Rosa were at a show somewhere somewhere west of here, I think, I don’t know I have intellectual glau...

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Like Paul and the pain box, I’m learning not to flinch, learning the burn is an illusion and to not move an inch. The feeling that there’s a better you, sleeping inside, but you don’...

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we are orphans to our endorphins we’re just no fun so let’s just run we’re beholden to our emotions in slow motion with old notions and we’re stranded em...

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I’m sick of all this introvert-extrovert stuff. I declare myself an outrovert. It will mean whatever I want it to mean. Sometimes I need a crowd of people. Sometimes I need to go and ...

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Nothing Kills A Crush Like Mentioning Jesus A Beautiful Woman Takes The Stage And Her Looks Are Intriguing And Her Voice Is Beguiling Then She Mutters Something About Bearing Witness And The Godd...

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we go by the holy name, heretic we go by the holy nane, heathen we’ve seen no evidence of a thing like hell or heaven so we try to make this life better instead not in an unprovable after-thing n...

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cold, bleak don’t mistake the winter-time for the forever-death of summers don’t mistake the twilight for the permanent loss of the sun don’t mistake your cold feet for early-onset diabetic neuro...

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My favorite thing about Scooby Doo was their steadfast debunking of supernatural hoaxes much more possible than their own TALKING DOG. Aliens? Ghosts? Those must be old amusement...

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I look up in the night sky & I hope that it’s not empty, that someone or something’s gonna save us from ourselves. But no. It’s on us. If we want this human thing to keep...

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When the world is invaded by gigantic tin cans, boots and tomatoes from outer space, don’t come crying to Ron Popeil. He tried. They’ll take your city while you’re watching your oven when y...

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Sure, pizza is kind of like sex. However here’s a truer analogy: Coffee’s more like sex than pizza. Yes, bad coffee’s better than none but you also sometimes really ne...

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This is the time. And this is the place. We’re better than blessed. We’re real. We’re better than miracles, we’re factual. We’re better than glamorous, we are actual. But we retreate...

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up in Kern County way out past Tejon you can bet the camels if you happen to know someone who knows someone who’ll tell you where to go but if cops show up then you’re on y...

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Re-examine your self-definitions regularly. You are not a series of categories, you are a you. You might miss something great. Some one or some thing. And anyway at this ...

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travel does little for your longing unless your travels take you where you long to be otherwise travel just means newly-unfulfilling scenery another place to add to the list of places yo...

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the frantic trumpeting of used-up myths the lawman-murderers in the old streets trying to reverse the advance of freedom these are not a resurgence the now is a rough birth of something a...

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my heart is almost new my heart is gently used my heart is pre-owned factory reconditioned refurbished repartitioned defragmented debugged freshly detailed drained and refilling my heart i...

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don’t mistake the darkness for proof that the light will never come back I mean it might never come back but it could don’t let ‘em trick you into thinking that hard ...

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we shred our hearts to ribbons we spread them out across the sky that we may yet outshine the stars yes that’s the point that’s why we do it we wanna either shine that bright or die or may...

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