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Page 39 of 53

No, I suppose that I’m no provider right now I’m a broke-ass writer looking for his place but there’s much more there’s supposed to be to potential you and reckless m...

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If you really think about it, what’s more metal than leaf-peeping? Driving far out in the country-side. Observing the autumn. “LET’S GET IN A CAR AND GO WATCH THE LEAVES DIE! IT’S ...

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My cousin Alan was eighteen when he died when he was murdered and I was twelve years old. I guess that I am thirty-six now if you believe in things like time. If you beli...

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Centaurs! We got centaurs! We got two centaurs in a man costume. We got two centaurs discussing how My Little Pony reinforces stereotypes. We got two centaurs bullying a jockey! You guy...

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Start calling soccer “kick hockey”. Convince a child that tampons are “mommy’s special cigars”. Plant seeds of the absurd wherever possible. Remake key scenes from Ferris Bueller’s Day ...

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You always have a choice. Don’t always have a perfect choice but you always have a choice. Oh Christ, sometimes nothing’s nice you choose between two awful things but ...

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we’re these tangles of identities and needs for a reason to teach us we’re all each a little different we’re all kind of freaks but some never get the memo ...

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This is the life you get instead of being famous. You might not think that it’s all that much but this way you’ll actually get to live it. That’s the trade-off, you get to bre...

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The iced tea was redolent of vanilla, reeking of vanilla, bleeding oozing vanilla but barely tasted of it at all. It was WEIRD. I spent the whole night just wondering about it wondering how ...

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Like it or not, this planet is a people zoo we’re all being judged on the tricks we can do. I don’t have many but I have a few. We don’t even jump for aliens or beg for scraps from tourist...

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the conspiracy video keeps droning on that the moon is an illusion and no one has ever left low-earth orbit some mad-man with a tenuous grasp of math has compiled and cross-checked the ori...

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The moon will take almost no note of you today. The sun will not whatsoever but it’s okay. In a life this short, use it to your advantage. Slip between the cracks of grand signific...

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Mistakenly thinking they’re protecting their own damn the shared societal consequences, they put themselves at more risk too. Anti-vaxxers. Mistakenly thinking they’re protecting...

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The Professor saw there were two women way out of his league on that ship. The Professor saw the only others were an elderly couple and two gay guys. The Professor used his sup...

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The shamelessness with which smartphone ads encourage us to live in a constant state of rude distraction is fascinating. They want us to watch football games at our best friends weddin...

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We’re just concentrated metaphor, four A.M. passed out on the floor, we are just consecrated metaphor. We’re just constipated metaphor, waiting for the figurative meteor, we are...

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Don’t let people convince you that you secretly have an agenda if you don’t. They’re projecting their own agendas onto you. Just breathe. They’ll move onto someone else. Just because you...

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Turn any rap into a square dance by simply yelling “now promenade!” after every few lines. Example: Leanin’ to the side but you can’t speed through Two miles an hour so ...

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Argle Bargle. Argle bargle, foof-a-doom malikdornle ma-hey-a-hom. Argle bargle, alba-somalalok brong-gol-marhalalalala. Argle bargle, morbo torbo shum shum shum shulpah. Argle Bargle. Argle Barg...

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all of our faces and internal places our tenderest non-negotiable spaces all the basics will almost surely be separated out by their atomic density by the end of the tw...

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Decency is not dishonesty. I won’t accept that proposition, no matter how much political juice jerks can get from that position. They call decency dishonest while all the while emb...

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find a girl unimpressed by boys who play guitar hold onto her like treasure like the miracles they are know you hit the lottery with that very first kiss there are not many...

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know the difference between “having what it takes” and “having what they want to take away” because no one else is gonna know it for you because anxiety and panic aren’t about reg...

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As a popular culture we reserve vastly more pity forgiveness for the misdeeds flaws and complexities of fictional characters than we do real people. Serial killers ...

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common things like band-aids lose their trademark power and their corporate identity to common use by consumers the same as peacemakers lose their names to history. like astroturf...

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